To think that if DH is going to spend in excess of half an hour laying a brown cable, he might give us some warning?

[BupcakesandCunting]

Plaiting my legs here.

DH went up for what I now know must be a monumental turd at 1900 hours. Gave no warning, didn;t say "do you need the bathroom before I plant my arse on the porcelain throne for half an hour?" Just goes in and doesn't emerge for ages.

I need a wee something rotten. He should give warning, right?

Omg fellatio, the shame!

My DP is very fast with his number twos and is very disparaging of men who take ages - apparently his father used to sit on the bog for hours with the sports pages while the whole family hopped around with their legs crossed. According to DP, the sensation of poo sliding ever so slowly over the prostate area is pretty special for some men and that's why they take so long over the whole process. I personally think it has more to do with the desire to escape the hurly-burly of family life for as long as possible.

NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Fellatio!

OMFG

and CRINGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fellatio - crying with laughter at that, you poor thing!!!!!!

Fellatio

Bluestocking ....wtf ? Really ? .

Fellatio ...omg ( crying with laughter here )

Bupcakes you know yanbu . Go find his favourite trainers , piss in them that will stop the fecker from loo hogging.

fellatio but I guess plumbers deal with allsorts. still.....

I bet that's the only time a plumber has come face to face with a poo in pyrex dish in a bedroom mind you

Jeesus Fellatio

Buuups < warning voice> I'm sure it was you that got completely shit faced and pissed somewhere you shouldn't a while back. And it stank the day after. Just saying. Don't go in the kitchen.

I second peei g in a container and handing it to him. No more than he deserves.

Well he must be out by now, surely?

Apparently so, droves. That's why some men like a finger up their bum during sex. But that would be a whole different thread. Has Bups managed to have a widdle yet?

Fellatio, you poor thing!

OP, my sympathies. After crossing my legs for ages, I have been known to bellow up the stairs to DH 'WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN THERE???' I simply do not understand how a shit can take that long. More than 5 minutes, you clearly don't need a shit and should get out.

Fellatio that will haunt me!

Can you do some kind of training with him Bupcakes? You know,a week of spending just 25 minutes crimping off a length and he gets a gold star on his reward chart,that sort of thing?

Pee in the sink, all the best laydees do.....

Here, is this your dh?

I personally think it has more to do with the desire to escape the hurly-burly of family life for as long as possible.

Bingo!

Definitely, wee in the garden. It'll keep any undesirable felines/canines off as well. It's cold- it won't smell.

I'm going to show off now.

DH not only has his own toilet to poo in, he is also the fastest poo-er of any man I have ever met. In and out before I even notice usually.

He does, however, stink to high heaven...

I am able to predict when the toilet will be occupied.

Regularity is of great importance here,and a huge amount of worrying is put into any deviation from the norm.

I,on the other hand,poo when the need arises.And motherhood has taught me the art of the speed poo.

"I was desperate for a wee so I got a large pyrex bowl and weed in it, and then found I urgently needed a poo so had to poo in it too..."

I got to THIS bit of the story and was going "oh no oh no oh no"

Fellatio. I think I love you.

Wee in his favourite mug. That'll larn him.

Why oh why do some men take so long?????? It's not healthy. They'll get piles. Yuk.....

The prostate thing has disturbed me...

I don't care how long dh is in there, but why wait till I am in the bath/ shower and then come in