To think that if DH is going to spend in excess of half an hour laying a brown cable, he might give us some warning?

[BupcakesandCunting]

Plaiting my legs here.

DH went up for what I now know must be a monumental turd at 1900 hours. Gave no warning, didn;t say "do you need the bathroom before I plant my arse on the porcelain throne for half an hour?" Just goes in and doesn't emerge for ages.

I need a wee something rotten. He should give warning, right?

Did he take a paper in there with him. If he's doing the cryptic crossword he could be hours.

Not sure I'd want to go into the loo after my DH after a half hour crapathon even of I was bursting.

Even if you take in reading material/quizzes etc to do the deed, how does that delay it any? Mine simply slides out. Once gravity starts to work, I can't delay it any longer. It just comes out. I'd have to actually squezze my sphincter to stop it coming out. Is that what he does? Is he a sphincter squeezer? Does he relish having a shit so MUCH that he purposely delays proceedings?

The dirty bastard.

Bups I'm a non loo brusher

I don't actually have anything against them but got rid of mine because it was manky despite bleach, and haven't replaced it.

Anyway for skids, I get rid with a clump of loo roll - or if one hasn't been spotted and has er... dried out a bit, or is on the bottom of the pan under the water, I bleach round the loo and leave it a while and flush.

If that doesn't get rid of it I bleach again and leave it overnight with the loo lid down to lessen fumes.

Being only me and my DD here though, we rarely have nasty skids to deal with, as we are clearly dainty of poo.

There was a long toilet brush thread recently, where there was a lot of talk of bleach swishing and / or disposable toilet brushes .

Well if he is just sitting there, I'd bother him to get out then.

I was worried about straining for that long!

You both eat the same things? no excuse

I don't have a loo brush...I clean the whole bloody toilet bowl with a cleaning pad, and some Jif type stuff.

Its only my 13 year old that leaves skids, I have taught him to get rid!

Buppy apparently you scrub. Yes, even if they're right on the bottom of the bowl, underwaterr and were produced by someone unrelated to you

Bang on the door and tell him to get the hell out now and stop the bloody nonsense about setting him back what a load of crap .
If he doesn't like it he buy you another house with TWO toilets in it, in the meantime get in and get out as fast as he can.

Buppy I knew this would be one of yours.

I saw the title and actually thought there was some urgent electrical repair work going on. I had visions of a DH digging up the road outside or something.

Anyway, no one needs to take that long unless they also need to visit a dietician/colo-rectal consultant. He's up there chilling, that's all.

Hi my name is stepaway and I have a loo brush
seriously I would be peeing into the compost bin by now.... its dark out innit

at hassled actually I did too

He consults me as to where would be the best place for him to shit (upstairs or downstairs - we don't debate the pros and cons of frying pan vs toothbrush holder)

I get to dictate according to where I am likely to go later.

Bless him.

And he can work a loo brush.

Which I am proud to own.

YANBU

Oh how I'm glad we have just moved into a house with 3 (yes 3) seperate toilets in it .

I'm with Stepaway - it's dark. An alfresco pipi is so liberating.

No way o.ly I'm allowed to wee in my lichen sink :)

"Buppy apparently you scrub. Yes, even if they're right on the bottom of the bowl, underwaterr and were produced by someone unrelated to you"

I thought as much. I'd rather use my loo brush and lick it afterwards than do that.

Are YOU the poo troll?

Does a he have a favourite pint glass or similar? You know, just in case you get really desperate? My DH always threatens to go in my shoes if I am hogging the bathroom.

I'm with Buppy. I am in, out, job done in under a minute. Never varies. DH CANNOT go for a dump without being at least 25 minutes. And he always has to go just before we need to leave the house in a hurry. Always. It's the law.

i am a shit widow, he spends hours in there.

and i have a loo brush.

I HAVE been accused of poo-trolling. I have started about fifty threads on poo so I can see why I might be accused of it...

My DH makes a huge fuss when he needs a poo

• whereas in my family it was never mentioned.

( Do you really want a lot of notice ?!

Just get on it it DH ! - sooo vulgar !

2 Loos are the answer IMHO

Mine's in there for so long it's possible he could climbing through the window and leading a double life.

Shall I tell you my wee/poo emergency story? Back when I was PG with DS2 we only had one loo in the house and we had a plumber working in there, fitting a new bathroom suite and doing stuff to pipes under the floorboards. I was desperate for a wee so I got a large pyrex bowl and weed in it, and then found I urgently needed a poo so had to poo in it too. I left it over by the window of my bedroom, where it could not be seen/smelt by anyone who might be passing, until such time as I could safely dispose of it, and went downstairs. I popped out for a bit, and when I went back home I went up to my bedroom, to find the plumber in my room, bleeding the radiator or something (apparently necessary/related to the pipework in the bathroom.) The radiator was under the window, and the bowl of wee and poo had been casually moved to one side....