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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be upset that DH got BOGOF body scrubs and gave me one for xmas and one for my bday 2 weeks later???

35 replies

ahhhhhpushit · 07/01/2012 10:43

Ok he doesnt have much money. He is a SAHD but I know my MIL gave him some cash to get me a few things.

AIBU to have secretly shed a little sad tear after I received an identical body scrub to the one I received for xmas 2 weeks ago :( :(

I feel like a bit of a cow but just a bit well sad I guess.

Silly me. It's my birthday I should be happy!!!

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 07/01/2012 10:45

oh :( yanbu. its not the lack of money spent but the lack of thought. did he do anything nice for you like breakfast in bed etc?

Original poster
ahhhhhpushit · 07/01/2012 10:48

Well he got up and gave DS breakie and made me tea and toast when I got up.

Yeah I suppose it is the lack of thought :(

OP posts:
MissVerinder · 07/01/2012 10:48

YANBU. It is the lack of thought.

BarkisIsWillin · 07/01/2012 10:54

Happy Birthday Flowers

BarkisIsWillin · 07/01/2012 10:54

Thanks even

QuickLookBusy · 07/01/2012 10:54

He could have been a lot more thoughtful, so I do feel for you.

But I couldn't help be a bit shocked at "he is a SAHD and I know MIL gave him some cash.."

Does he have any access to money?

Tortington · 07/01/2012 10:55

dont you share money? why doesn't he had money as a sahd?

also i think its very thoughtless - or frugal~!

Casmama · 07/01/2012 10:56

YANBU - it is a bit crap but to me the question is why does he have so little money that money from your MIL would be required for him to buy you a present? If this is not the case and he is just being tight and/or thoughtless then I apologise for reading too much into it.

Casmama · 07/01/2012 10:56

sorry x-posts.

Pinot · 07/01/2012 11:12 

He has been a thoughtless nobber. You are right to be upset but please try and have a lovely day - you can rage at him later on but for now IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY WOOOOOO HOOOOOO! Go have fun!

<span class="line-through">Maybe go shopping and get your own presents as up yours to him?</span>
Original poster
ahhhhhpushit · 07/01/2012 11:13

He just didnt want to spend "my" earnings on me! That's all!

He has access to all my earnings :)

OP posts:
Original poster
ahhhhhpushit · 07/01/2012 11:17

When i say he doesnt have much money i just mean his own earnings i guess (he does earn a little bit from buying/selling bits and bobs online).

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 07/01/2012 11:21

He doesn't want to spend your earnings on you, but spends your PIL's earnings instead?

This isn't really about your birthday, but leave well alone for today and enjoy yourself.

Rethink your budget and how money is distributed, for another day.

radiohelen · 07/01/2012 11:34

YABU

Original poster
ahhhhhpushit · 07/01/2012 11:36

Honestly there are no issues with money or distribution at all. Him being a SAHD is worth ££££££ to me and our family. I guess PIL gave him a bit of cash as he didnt want me to see an entry on my bank statement which is my pressie!!

This really is about getting a BOGOF and splitting it between crimbo and bday! I cried. I was asking if U to do so. It appears not.

Anyway, I will try and forget about it for now and have a nice bday.

OP posts:
Original poster
ahhhhhpushit · 07/01/2012 11:37

radio thanks for the kick up the bum!!

cept be didnt wrap it either... ahem

OP posts:
Warlock · 07/01/2012 11:38

Agree with Radiohelen entirely.

Casmama · 07/01/2012 11:38

Right - your dh had provided you with a poor present, shown little effort and needs a big kick up the bum.
Why don't you suggest going out for dinner tonight?

Shutupanddrive · 07/01/2012 11:38

I would be disappointed too, it's a bit thoughtless Sad

Warlock · 07/01/2012 11:41

My mums birthday is on Boxing Day and the first time I bought her a present with my own money it was a bar of chocolate that I broke in two and wrapped separately and then gave her half on each day.

i was 52 years younger then

Original poster
ahhhhhpushit · 07/01/2012 11:41

We are going out for dins and to see a film :)

It's ok. I'm getting over it. I should appreciate all the great things he does as a SAHD. It's only a silly old body scrub and I will use it...when the other one runs out Grin

Silly me.

OP posts:
Ghoulwithadragontattoo · 07/01/2012 11:43

Happy Birthday!

It's mine today too and I think it can be a difficult time for present buying as well as celebrating. Too much Xmas / New Year excess / everyone on diets etc. Of course he should have put more thought in but don't let it worry you too much.

TheCrunchUnderfoot · 07/01/2012 11:43

Not silly at all. Being thoughful doesn't have to cost any money at all. Body scrubs? Rubbish.

What did you do for his birthday?

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 07/01/2012 11:44

Depends... is your skin particularly scaly and in need of lots of scrubbing? Grin

diddl · 07/01/2012 11:44

Well tbh I´m with radio.

Husband & I rarely do presents for b/days/Christamas as we just don´t know what to get each other so anything is a bonus tbh.

I find it odd when adults set so/too much emphasis on presents.

For me it´s breakfast in bed, a card, time with family, lunch out, all walking the dog together-my perfect birthday tbh.
(possibly easily pleased)