AIBU to think that childminder's assistant should not be in her pj's when looking after children?

[lou19]

Our DD goes to a lovely male childminder whose partner is his assistant. They are both lovely but a few times I have noticed when I drop DD off in the morning that his assistant does not seem to have got dressed that morning, still wearing pj bottoms, a comfy top, shrug and slippers. He usually wears a tracksuit, which of course it's absolutely fine. I know it's their house and she doesn't have to go anywhere, but for some reason it makes me feel uneasy. If I'm paying money for them to look after my child, I'd like them to look a bit more professional..is that unreasonable?And if not, should I say something?

oh yes, good point - if she's not on duty then fair enough

I'll wind me neck in

YABU who cares what they wear as long as the care they provide is of a high standard. Like others have said they work with young children so you expect them to wear comfy type clothes that they can move about easily in and don't mind getting dirty . As for baby coming back with food on their clothes, that is what happens they are babies, even the best of bibs won't keep them entirely clean, chill!

No...pj bottoms are sleepwear. Pants a pants. Laziness is laziness and I'd think if she is this unbothered about appearance what else does she not care about? A snotty nose? A food smeared face? A dirty nappy? To me, being unwilling to take 2 mins to throw on some clean track suit bottoms or jeans makes me think she will find many other things too much bother. Obviously just how my own mind works and not saying this is the case with her.

I am trying to decide what I would think if my cm,s assistant was in pjs- jealous probably!! I dont think it matters a jot to the quality of care, but agree it does look more professional if they are dreseed!1 My dcs cm ( and assistant) wear jeans, jumpers etc, but are always dressed. I dont think it would put me off using it if I was happy with all other aspects of child care, but it would probably irritate me a bit.

On the messy face thing, I like it when the dc come back messy as I know it means they have been acting like children and not staring at the tv all the time, which is my biggest worry with childcare- fortunatly my cm is great in messy activities!! ( always to be encouraged in somebody elses house!)

I think YANBU.

Also, I don't mind DS coming home dirty from play, although he almost never does, he's cleaner after a day at the CM than he is after a day with me, but I would be narked if he always had food down his clothes because the CM didn't bother with a bib. That's being lazy rather than enjoying a bit of mess.

And I think any self-respecting CM would want to return their mindee with a clean face and a clean nappy.

Erm the CM is dressed not his assistant. His assistant may not be working or not needed so might not be dressed. She is only his assistant not the actual CM so nothing to get worked up about. She might only be there to watch a child if CM has gone to the loo, or has to help another child which is not always.

Well if she has so little to do I am sure she can manage to get dressed before the children arrive.

There was a mum doing the school run in pyjamas the other day. At pick-up time. Now that is weird.

I think the food down the clothes is a bit ott babies and toddlers do get messy with food, I used to double bib dd but she always used to get food somewhere else, or in between her neck and the bib.

Just to clarify:

This girl is the CM assistant and NOT the CM.
Who looks after the kids whilst she gets changed? Err, the CM does. I expect they also take turns in looking after said kids when one goes off for a shit (Gribble ).
A bit of a mucky mush and a few food stains on clothes does not amount to them sending baby home in a filthy nappy with a crusty face.

I think people are taking this waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too seriously.

How does op know she does not bother with a bib, just because the child's clothes are messy, dd was also a bib ripper offer, and would tear off the plastic coverals i used to put her in to eat, children are children they do not always do as you tell them to.

I think you are right. PJ, slippers = spare time, relax, do as I like. If I left my child with a childminder then I would expect them to be ready, interact with my child, do stuff, have a plan for the day. PJ and slippers don't give me that impression and I would doubt their professionalism and the quality of care my child receives.

In the end, they are running a business, aren't they?

I bet the only reason they call her his assistant is that she is a she and he is a he. It'll be to shut up the precious people who whine and complain that men can't do professional childcare work . Since she lives with him, presumably she will have to have a CRB check and everything just as if she was a childminder herself, so may as well call herself his assistant and like someone said, if he needs to nip to the loo or whatever, she can watch the child(ren) all square and above board with nobody complaining to Ofsted or anything.
She can wear what she likes in her own home, and tbh I just can't see what her clothes have to do with anything. If she was naked then I guess it would be a different matter, but since she is "decently clothed" why on earth is it anyone else's business what in? Would there be complaints if she wore a tailored suit and high heels? or a burkha? or anything in between? pajamas are just trousers labelled as pajamas in the shop

Yanbu. I wouldn't like it either. I would judge her for not being up and ready for work. Presumably at some stage she'll have to go off and have a shower and get dressed? Its not the end of the world, its not a heinous crime, its not going to be harmful to the children in her care but of COURSE it is understandable if op isn't impressed by it.

Yanbu. Whilst you don't expect a suit(!) I think it's reasonable to expect her to be dressed in something practical & smartish. If she worked in a nursery,she would have to be a little more professional looking.
I know now I'm at home,I get more accomplished on days that I do my makeup & in something clean & smartish.

I would feel I had to apologise and explain to the 'clients' coming to my house.

Would it be acceptable if they were lawyers or accountants working from their home? I wouldn't rush to take my business there!

I think jeans, flat shoes and a t-shirt or similar are suitable attire for nannies, nursery nurses and CMs. It takes all of two minutes to put them on, and they wash easily. When I worked in a nursery I generally wore black trousers and a bright jumper or smartish t-shirt, preferably one with a big picture on it, to look child friendly.

The kids made plenty of mess during the day but I would have been very reluctant to send them home with snotty noses, food in their hair and encrusted all over their cheeks, and so on, so I used to give them a quick once over after meals and snacks, as well as before they left us for the day, so they were clean and comfortable, ready for the journey home. I noticed that this didn't happen when I sent my own children to one particular nursery and I wasn't that impressed. This was also the nursery where they got the most nappy rash and upset stomachs, so perhaps it was representative of a rather laid back attitude to hygiene in general. These things do matter. I think it says a lot about pride in the job.

Isn't it funny how it's a more or less 50/50 split on this.

just read all this and realityneedsanamechange has hit it on the head!

Is she on duty? maybe she isnt? my husband is my assistant and only works when he is needed /available. Sometimes he greets parents in full black bike leathers...he is on his way out/in. should he not open the door dressed like this? i think he would say something rude and say

this is my home......you forget....this is my home

On the "this is my home" thing - it's required to be a place of work between certain hours. I'd feel the same about a pyjama-wearer as I would about someone who had unwashed, greasy hair. It says too much about the personal and professional standards of the person concerned. And if you are running a business it's your responsibility to ensure that inappropriately dressed people are not present in your place of work .

I wouldn't employ a childminder who wore pyjamas to work or who had people in their pyjamas there.

It's not exactly a very high bar to be setting, to be honest.

Look, I love a pointless row as much as anyone, but there are some really stupid replies on here. Of course YANBU. If someone has chosen to use their home as their workplace, and are expecting other people to pay them for their allegedly professional services, then yeah, I think the least they can do is stick a fricking bra on and change last night's sweaty, pissy gusset for something a little fresher (!)

"Look, I love a pointless row as much as anyone, but there are some really stupid replies on here. Of course YANBU. "

I actually agree with you..but errrr some people may not, and it doesn't mean they are stupid..not short on the self belief are you?

I sometimes drop off DS at his CM at 7 a.m., so I don't mind if she's still in her dressing gown at that time. However, I don't know what I would think if she was still not dressed at the end of the day!

Sorry but I wouldn't like it and I'm an antifashionista!

Black yoga pants & T shirt = fine. Comfy, practical. Though I'd expect her hair tied back if she was gonna be prepping brekkie.

PJ's - oh hell to the no! It looks, sloppy, lazy and unprofessiona. Is she can't look after herself, how do I do she's looking after my pre-verbal darling?

Snotty noses - you know there is such a thing as a hanky doncha? I provide them, wipes etc and I expect them to be used. Personal hygiene should be taught from an early age - again sloppy!

Food down the front of clothes - do you not provide enough changes of clothing? My son was always changed if his clothes were filthy at the end of the day. It's comfortable going out in the cold with a damp chest from a health pov.

If you know someone is visiting your home don't you get dressed to answer the door? My Mum would throw a mardy if I answered my door in my PJ's when I knew she was coming over & she's me Mum ffs! Common decency please. Noone should see you in your PJ's bar the family members that live with you/the fireman!

There's a huge range of casual clothing available, I live in cargo pants when I'm not working but PJ's are bed wear & not meant for public consumption no matter how stylish/comfy etc. Noone is suggesting she should have the perfect makeup do, blowdry, maniicure etc but getting yourself decent is pretty basic isn't it?

Er, my PJs are pair of navy jersey trousers and a white jersey top.

I defy anyone to spot the difference between my PJs and a pair of jersey trousers (bought from non-sleepwear dept. of shop) worn a white T-shirt.

Many people wear slippers in their homes - they prefer not to wear outside shoes indoors.

I'm not sure how so many people on this thread have been able to judge this woman, considering how they have never actually seen her and the OPs description was on the short side and doesn't actually rule out the sort of clothes I've just described.