AIBU to think that childminder's assistant should not be in her pj's when looking after children?

[lou19]

Our DD goes to a lovely male childminder whose partner is his assistant. They are both lovely but a few times I have noticed when I drop DD off in the morning that his assistant does not seem to have got dressed that morning, still wearing pj bottoms, a comfy top, shrug and slippers. He usually wears a tracksuit, which of course it's absolutely fine. I know it's their house and she doesn't have to go anywhere, but for some reason it makes me feel uneasy. If I'm paying money for them to look after my child, I'd like them to look a bit more professional..is that unreasonable?And if not, should I say something?

Yes the assistant will count in the ratio of children:adult

YANBU. Sloppy and lazy and who provides childcare whilst one of the people YOU are paying slopes off to shower and get dressed?

YANBU

In my opinion. But then I hate mooching about in PJs and always feel a lot happier, when showered, dressed and with a bit of make up on. Even my 'lazing' about clothes re still clothes I would be happy to pop to the shops in.

I would not feel particularly comfortable handing my DS over to someone in PJs. It is slovenly. And I would be concerned that they may be slovenly when it comes to caring for my boy.

YANBU, it's quite slobbish lazy behaviour IMO

She is his partner.. she lives in the house. Does it matter what she is wearing??

I came on here wondering what on earth a childminder's assistant was!

How many children do they look after?
And how do you know that these are not the clothes she wears during the day for messy time? Old pj bottoms and a comfy top are just the clothes to wear when painting and when food is getting thrown about.

I understand that some people get professionally attired, but this is not your CM you have these issues with but his girlfriend. And we all have different standards - some mums wear their warpaint for the school run and some, like me, will shove on any old thing.

The poor girl probably thinks that it doesn't matter what she looks like, it's the job she is doing that counts. And if your baby is happy and well cared for then that is all that matters.
Plus it is far healthier for your baby to get dirty and messy than to stay immaculately clean all the time. If you want your baby to have a healthy immune system then let her get a little grubby once in a while, let her make mud pies and wipe food in her hair. Trust me, as they are growing older there will be plenty of emphasis on staying clean and tidy, so allow her to explore whilst she is still young.

No-one but you will ever be good enough to care for your first child, so it's natural for you to pick faults with them. But do try to relax and not let your anxiety ruin these special moments with your baby. These are magical times that you can never get back, so make the most of them and stop fretting about what she looks like.

So when she's off getting dressed, who covers?
Or maybe she goes out in pjs

Professionalism aside, the reason I loved my DS going to the CM was because it was more of a home environment so if I had handed him over to the CM wearing PJ's (and OP's CM wasnt in them, it was his assistant) I wouldnt have thought anything of it.

In my mind, as long as they looked after him, loved him (which they did), made his day fun, I could have asked for no more. My CM used to say to me that she loved being a CM, loved the kids, it was just the parents who could be a pain!

If she was a partner who wasn't working with the chidren then it probably wouldn't matter but I thought an assistant meant that she would be hands on.

Would everyone still think its OK if it was the CM himself who hadn't bothered to get dressed?

How much time and effort does it take to pull on a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt. If she can't be arsed getting dressed then is that a reflection of the energy she puts into her work?

So no OP YAN totally BU

YANBU - tracksuit fine, pj's not.

For all you that think it's ok, do you think it would be ok if you worked from home in any other field, and had clients visiting to welcome them in your pyjamas, because you knew that they thought you were good at your job?

What the fuck?! Do you dress for your work day? Yes. Does everyone else? Yes. So she should bloody do so too. You get ready for work BEFORE the day starts, not on someone else's time.

I have recently seen girls wandering around n.london in their pyjamas. It makes me want to throw loose change at them.

YANBU.

CM's should be recognised for the important role they play in the early years, so should present a professional image - which means being dressed when their clients arrive.

I'm all for comfortable and practical clothing - but surely PJ's is a step too far!

thank you for explaining re cultural thing

I am a CM and present myself professionally - I wear smart clothes, my hair is always tidy at the start of the day (not by the end, all painty/floury/muddy arf arf arf) no way would I say that jammies are acceptable attire

wrt crusty noses - well, it's not nice for a child not to be wiped is it

foody clothes - hmm, tricky one; the child might be a bib whipper-offer in which case suck it up/send more bibs etc.

I would recc older clothes anyway so that your naice clothes don't get wrecked by jelly play/finger painting/mud pie construction

On balance if you are happy with the overall care then ignore jammies (but I can see why you feel it's not presenting the setting in the best possible light)

She needs to get dressed before the children arrive. Is she his official assistant? It doesn't make much difference though, she has to have a CRB check anyway as she lives in the house (if my memory serves me correctly) but I do think she should get dressed, it shows she is taking the job seriously.

I would never answer the door in pyjamas, even if I am ill, like now.

I wouldn't go for this at all.

I know someone looking after children has to be comfortable / practical in their dress, but pyjamas to me would say she hasn't got dressed - not that she selected a practical outfit. And not dressing before work is really not on.

I'd say - oh sorry you're not dressed. Shall I come back in 10 minutes?

But it would put me off big time.

oh, forgot:

slippers are fine, we take shoes off indoors in my setting

The fact that she was wearing pj bottoms but a proper, comfy top with shrug would seem to suggest that actually her pj bottoms were her house clothes?

I would be more put off by a CM who was professionally dressed with perfect hair and make up than one in houseclothes, because it would imply that one is not for getting on her hand and knees singing 'wheels on the bus' or making salt dough shapes whereas the other is obviously relaxed and at ease which sets a nice, comfortable atmosphere for the children.

The CM's assistant may not be going out anywhere and may not go upstairs to get changed, she might be like this all day to play with the children, so what then judgey mumsnetters?

Ok wading in as a childminder - as professional child care providers, it should be very important to all cm's that we present the right image and that involves being up, dressed and ready for the day, having performed a risk assessment to ensure that the setting if safe before the minded children arrive. I'm meant to be on hols today, but have new baby here for settling in session so got up early and made sure my own 3dc were up and dressed too. As for sending children home crusty, big difference between manky from not being cared for properly - food not cleaned off faces etc or snottly noses (which I really hate btw) - and manky from playing, trips out to parks, arts and crafts etc (what my mil who was teacher always calls "good clean dirt").
I'd jokingly mention to them that you thought they'd be dressed before you arrived like others have suggested and make sure you supply plenty bibs and spare clothes so they get the message subtly about you expecting a clean - ish dc home.
However, if you are otherwise happy with the standard of care they provide then hopefully that'll be enough to sort things out.

YANBU, I wouldn't like it either.
In our house we get up and get washed and dressed, and I think it's reasonable to expect that of anyone being paid to care for my children. If I saw someone in PJs I would assume they hadn't yet washed.

Slippers = indoors shoes to keep feet warm, not stand on toys and bits of Lego whilst not traipsing outdoor dirt in? Sounds quite sensible to me.

Also what is one persons 'PJs' may be another's 'lounge day' clothes. So if she is dressed in comfy trousers/track suit bottoms a top and a cardigan, that is hardly floral jammy hot-pants!

I think if she looks awake and like she's had a wash a put a brush through her hair, I would say she is 'ready' for the day. If she looks like she is still IN bed then I'd have concerns. But I doubt she is.

should say snotty noses and also not saying I'm dressed in designer gear for work (or any other time tbh) just jeans and tops cos I spend most of the day either in the park covered in mud or crawling about the floor!

has anyone actually read what this assistant is wearing?

She is not wearing full on Spongebob pjs with a sleep hat

PJ bottoms - are just pants
Comfy top - is a top
Shrug - is a cardi
Slippers - acceptable footwear around the house and children who may mess about on the floor playing (Im sure DS would rather a slippered foot accidentally stand on his hand than a doc martin)

Even if she nips off to get dressed in other stuff - so what? It takes what, 3.5 minutes to get dressed, less time than it takes to have a shit, or are toilet breaks not allowed?

the childminder IS dressed.. it is his assistant, who lives in the same house, who may or may not be dressed... she may not actually start work till later, so there is no need for her to be in formal clothes..