AIBU to think that childminder's assistant should not be in her pj's when looking after children?

[lou19]

Our DD goes to a lovely male childminder whose partner is his assistant. They are both lovely but a few times I have noticed when I drop DD off in the morning that his assistant does not seem to have got dressed that morning, still wearing pj bottoms, a comfy top, shrug and slippers. He usually wears a tracksuit, which of course it's absolutely fine. I know it's their house and she doesn't have to go anywhere, but for some reason it makes me feel uneasy. If I'm paying money for them to look after my child, I'd like them to look a bit more professional..is that unreasonable?And if not, should I say something?

re the cultural thing- don't really want to say where I'm from but we do take a lot of pride in our appearance and the appearance of our homes and working environments. to the point that I found it a bit oppressive and that might be why I live here and not there!but I guess it's wired in my being to a certain extent...

when DS1 comes home from nursery grubby I love it, shows hes had a great time and they have let him play without being too restrictive and wanting to keep their place clean (ie. not stopping him waving the paintbrush about for eg.).

When he was starting to eat solids he would always come home from the minders crusty and with food all over him - again I loved the fact they they didnt care about him exploring and learning about his food and getting it all over their floor /walls in the process (if DCs are a mess when eating its a dead cert that for a radius of about 1ft from the food the floors and walls will be covered)

YAalso BU about the assistant. PJs are essentially cotton pants. Comfy top - well, if she is the sort of person who wore a crisp formal shirt when looking after children then she'd be far too uptight to get stuck in with them so wouldnt be a very good assistant. Shrug - isnt that just a small cardigan ? Slippers - also fine unless you believe a nice pair of Manolos scream "appropriate housewear".

I wouldn't like it. They are working from home but interacting with the public (i.e. you) i think it's slovenly (disclaimer - I may be turning into my mother too!)

My question has to be, does she look like she's at least had a wash?

There's scruffy and there's scruffy, take a photo and I make a judgement!

You may be being reasonable, or not. Hard to say!

YANBU. Thats really unprofessional and smacks of 'this isn't a proper job, I'm not taking it seriously'

alright alright I get the message :) guess it comes down to your own personal standards. but at the end of the day they provide good care, stimulation and affection to my bubba, I know I'd rather have that over a clean child at the end of the day. I just wish I could split myself in two so I could be at work and simultaneusly there to wipe her nose :(

I'm all for comfy clothes but would expect them to be wearing an outfit that meant they were ready to work and go out, pj's don't cut it.

They don't wipe her nose?

aldiwhore she does look like she's had a wash and done her hair. Maybe I am a judgemental cow after all, I rolled in today having got out of the house without even brushing my hair or applying deodorant (long night dealing with teething, overslept) so who am I to judge

I didn't even know CM's had assistants

Is it similar to a teacher having a TA?

I'm not sure I know of a specific culture where the people take more pride in their appearence/home/working environments than others?

adinaabfab, you know what I mean, sometimes her nose is a bit crusty and snotty at the end of the day if she's had a cold, which she does quite often

Sorry lou- I thought AIBU was the place to be blunt- I was clearly too blunt.

Much hugs - I have sent all my 3 to nursery /CM when little so I know you'd rather be there to make sure everything is perfect, but you can't 'cos the work gets in the way and other minders don't do things your way necessarily.

On a really non AIBU level I'm so glad that the PJs are really the only thing you feel isn't good about your minding situation

WorraLiberty, without wanting to sound TOO snotty, let me assure you that there are. oh yes. not that it's necessarily a good thing, like I said it can feel quite oppressive, especially growing up

She should get dressed, a track suit would be fine but I would not answer the door or have people in the house in pyjamas.
There would be uproar if pre-school staff wore pyjamas and they work with small children!

I had images of not dripping into her mouth Oh well thats different because you need a chisel to get snot crust off.

"but this IS my little princess" sorry?!
So you know being dirty is ok for others but yours should have she own little clean bubble! Messy play is important for every child and you should be pleased they are focused on her development and happiness and not on clothes.

If the level of care is good, and you are happy with how your child is being taken care of...and the PJ bottoms are the only complaint, then yabu.

Be pleased that you had the good luck to find such a fab CM, and don't sweat the small things.

Thanks Theas18 :)

I am a nanny and was a nursery nurse - maybe it's me but I allow babies to explore, paint, feed themselves etc - but they are never sent home crusty and covered in dirt.

Oufit wise, I tend to wear a pair of trousers that I would wear when not working and again a nice top, sometimes a dress, or a skirt and top; and yes sometimes they get covered in flour, paint, snot, but so what it all goes through the wash. I am a proffessional and as such wear a proper outfit rather than just throwing on a pair of joggers, and as someone said above it puts you in the right frame of mind, if I was in joggers then I would probably just have a lazy day, but if I've got a nice outfit on then I'm ready for everything being invited out for lunch, going to a museum, library time etc without having to redress etc.

If the the partner has the job title of assistant childminder, she is required to be presentable, end of.

I think it's pretty sloppy tbh. I would worry about their attitude towards the job if they couldn't be bothered to get washed and dressed in time for work. Presumably they go off and do that while the children are there? If so, who is caring for the children while they do that? Otherwise do they stay in nightwear for the whole day?

It actually sets a pretty poor example to the children as well IMO.

Thanks for all your replies, on that note I am off to have a shower, get dressed and clean the house :)

Does she go out and about in them? Or put on real clothes for that?
Does her presence get counted in ratios?

I don't think YABU at all, if the partner is an assistant then presumably she's being paid to do her job and classes herself as a professional child carer. IMO that means she should have a minimum standard of dress and pjs wouldnt cut it for me.

Are you sure they're pj's and not just flannel trousers. I once was told in hospital that I needed to get changed out of my pj's to go to the cafe. I pointed out I was in my day clothes (I was 41 weeks pregnant and wearing cotton flannel bottoms).