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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to leave dd asleep in her cot

106 replies

Rhubarbgarden · 05/01/2012 09:16

while I nip to the hospital to collect my friend after her op?

I'm pretty sure I won't do this in the end but I'm curious to see if others would be tempted or if it is as big a no no as I think.

I live over the road from a hospital. Friends are always using our drive to park in when they have hospital appointments. I'm happy to help them avoid the high parking charges.

One particular friend has regular appointments there and has had a series of quite major knee operations. She always comes to visit before or after and it's a great excuse to catch up as she lives some distance away.

She's having a relatively minor op this morning to remove pins, and as she had to be there very early this morning she stayed here overnight last night. Now although I say relatively minor, it's under GA and when she checked in first thing they told her she must be collected by someone afterwards and even though it's only 5 mins walk to this house, they won't let her leave on her own.

Obviously I'm happy to go and pick her up; the only snag is that this is likely to coincide with dd's lunchtime nap. Dd is clockwork in her naps and is highly unlikely to wake up during the 2 hours she's down. On the rare occasions she does, she just babbles to herself and plays with her toys till I go get her. I usually finish what I'm doing first.

So would it really be bad parenting to leave her asleep in her cot while I dash to the hospital and back to collect my friend? I would only be gone ten mins. Really truly?

OP posts:
StrandedBear · 05/01/2012 09:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ragwort · 05/01/2012 09:19

Will she be able to phone you to say that she is ready to be collected so you can be sure you won't be hanging about?

I would do it, it's no worse than being out in the garden, chatting to a neighbour or nipping out to post a letter which I have certainly done when DS was asleep - but I wouldn't admit it on Mumsnet Grin !

SmethwickBelle · 05/01/2012 09:19

Honestly? I do think it would be bad parenting to leave her and so I wouldn't.

Shutupanddrive · 05/01/2012 09:19

No way

WorraLiberty · 05/01/2012 09:20

When you look at it as logically as you have, it sounds ok.

So why is there a huge niggling voice inside me saying it's not? Sad

Not much help I know...sorry Blush

TroublesomeEx · 05/01/2012 09:21

What SB said. What if you were held up in traffic? There was a car accident? Your friend was delayed? There was an electrical fault and a fire started? Someone broke in? The phone went and she woke up and spent the whole time screaming and terrified?

I know you won't, and I know it's a thought that has crossed all of our minds as a "I wonder what would happen if..." when we're reluctantly waking up a sleepy baby.

But no. Don't do it.

OTOH, my mum used to leave my brother asleep in his cot when she picked me up from school every day and nothing ever happened.

I wouldn't risk it though!

moogster1a · 05/01/2012 09:21

I wouldn't. It's not that your dd may wake up, but what if ( unlikely , I know ) you were to have some sort of accident whilst out. You get run over, hit by a falling tree, pass out, there's no one who would know you had a lo at home.

ScroobiousPip · 05/01/2012 09:22

why not put your dd down for her nap in her pushchair, then take her with you to pick up your friend?

Marne · 05/01/2012 09:22

Only if you can see your front door from the hospital door, can she meet you at the door so you only have to walk her across the road?

If not then could you get a neighbour to sit with the baby when you pop to the hospital?

grafit · 05/01/2012 09:22

yes, sorry YABU. You sound like a good friend but you have a sleeping baby and if this friend is as good as you say she wouldn't let you do it and arrange for someone else to pick her up.

Molehillmountain · 05/01/2012 09:23

I am pretty relaxed and would pay for petrol with dc in car, have them asleep in car in drive but I really wouldn't do that. Nothing would happen I'm sure but what if you were held up, car broke down, that kind of thing. I think yabu but I understand how precious naps are so know why you are torn between helping a friend and looking after dc.

grafit · 05/01/2012 09:23

yes of course or just take your dd with you as scroobius says, that's what I would do/have done

Quenelle · 05/01/2012 09:23

No. Can you get someone to sit in the house for ten minutes while you pop out?

BelleJolie · 05/01/2012 09:24

I wouldn't. Too many potential 'what ifs' (however unlikely) for me to be comfortable with.

I think ScroobiousPip's idea is a good one.

Melpomene · 05/01/2012 09:25

Would she be able to get a taxi to your place? Presumably that would be all right as she could explain the situation to the hospital staff.

squeakytoy · 05/01/2012 09:26

I would ask a neighbour to just sit in the house for the ten minutes.

StrandedBear · 05/01/2012 09:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 05/01/2012 09:27

Absolutely not!

Get someone to sit in for you.

Why can't your friend make her own way to yours?

Can't leave a lo in the house on their own- just think of Madeleine McCann

WhiteTrash · 05/01/2012 09:29

Not in a million years.

herbietea · 05/01/2012 09:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

redridingwolf · 05/01/2012 09:30

Most 'good' mothers are tempted to leave our sleeping babies in the house while we get something done sometimes. But we don't because we know it's not right. I am sure you will be the same. If it's out of reach of a monitor, it's clearly too far.

FootprintsInTheSnow · 05/01/2012 09:32

Why can't your friend just wait for you with a magazine in the hossie until your DD wakes up?

squeakytoy · 05/01/2012 09:33

As this is a knee operation, this lady will not be able to walk easily for a few days, and may not be able to put any weight on the leg at all today.

fantagrape · 05/01/2012 09:47

Why are you putting your friends needs above your daughters safety?

Surely your friend can read a mag/drink tea for a little while?

fallenpetal · 05/01/2012 09:49

If the child wont wake pick them up and put them in the car! Or is that to obvious?