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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to leave dd asleep in her cot

106 replies

Rhubarbgarden · 05/01/2012 09:16

while I nip to the hospital to collect my friend after her op?

I'm pretty sure I won't do this in the end but I'm curious to see if others would be tempted or if it is as big a no no as I think.

I live over the road from a hospital. Friends are always using our drive to park in when they have hospital appointments. I'm happy to help them avoid the high parking charges.

One particular friend has regular appointments there and has had a series of quite major knee operations. She always comes to visit before or after and it's a great excuse to catch up as she lives some distance away.

She's having a relatively minor op this morning to remove pins, and as she had to be there very early this morning she stayed here overnight last night. Now although I say relatively minor, it's under GA and when she checked in first thing they told her she must be collected by someone afterwards and even though it's only 5 mins walk to this house, they won't let her leave on her own.

Obviously I'm happy to go and pick her up; the only snag is that this is likely to coincide with dd's lunchtime nap. Dd is clockwork in her naps and is highly unlikely to wake up during the 2 hours she's down. On the rare occasions she does, she just babbles to herself and plays with her toys till I go get her. I usually finish what I'm doing first.

So would it really be bad parenting to leave her asleep in her cot while I dash to the hospital and back to collect my friend? I would only be gone ten mins. Really truly?

OP posts:
RainboweBrite · 05/01/2012 09:59

I can see why you're tempted, but it's a no from me too, sorry. If the hospital was directly across a normal, residential sized street and your friend was at the door, so you would be back in a minute, then I would.

Original poster
Rhubarbgarden · 05/01/2012 10:00

She will ring me when she's ready and the nurse will walk her down the stairs so she's at the hospital door, so I could literally pick her up and turn round. Can't see the house from the hosp though. The neighbours all work, the hospital won't let her get a taxi and she has nobody else anywhere near who could collect her as she was assuming the hosp would be fine with her walking the 5 mins to mine (she's v apologetic about all this). she won't be on crutches. I would put dd in her pushchair and walk her round for the nap if it wasn't a howling gale and fierce rain out there! Transfers between house/outside pushchair/cot etc wake her up so not feasible.

Hey ho. You're all right. Guess it'll just be a bad nap/grouchy child day. Glad to know others would be tempted too though!

OP posts:
cory · 05/01/2012 10:03

I am all for leaving older children, but not cot age ones. Basically, if something went wrong an older child could get out of the house/call an ambulance/alert the neighbours; a baby can do nothing to help herself.

Easy enough to pick her up and put her in the car seat, surely?

cazboldy · 05/01/2012 10:04

I can't honestly understand why the hell ANYONE would even consider this....... ffs kids are inconvenient - they do make everyday tasks take twice as long etc etc etc

we all know this

so if you can't accept this - don 't bloody have them!

And that includes the daft cow that leaves her 3 yo shut in the cart with her newborn baby while she collects her ds from school ( sorry slightly off topic, but it really pisses me off!)

cazboldy · 05/01/2012 10:06

shut in the car even Blush

Cherriesarelovely · 05/01/2012 10:07

Ummm no obviously. Please don't do this.

Xmasbaby11 · 05/01/2012 10:08

I wouldn't do it. There's a chance of being delayed at the hospital and you will feel anxious with every passing minute.

Either ask your friend to wait in the cafeteria or wake up your DD. It can't be very useful having such inflexible naptimes anyway, so maybe it's good to break the habit.

Binfullofmaggotsonthe45 · 05/01/2012 10:09

If it's 5 mins can't a hospital porter just wheel her over in a wheelchair?

Just be cheeky and ask.

Otherwise put LO to sleep in pushchair.

squeakytoy · 05/01/2012 10:14

As Xmasbaby says, there is every chance of a delay.. especially with a non-urgent op.

I am fairly sure hospitals can not actually force anyone to stay against their will. Getting a taxi would be allowed, it is just not advisable to drive after a GA, and if someone is on their own, they are on their own.. and have no choice.

If the hospital door was literally yards from your own, and you could see your house, then it wouldnt be a problem for the sake of a couple of minutes, but it isnt, it is out of sight, and across a road.

It wont actually do your child any harm to be put into her buggy and if she wakes up, then so be it.

WhereTheWildThingsWere · 05/01/2012 10:16

But op won't be delayed at the hospital, friend is being brought to the door by a nurse.

squeakytoy · 05/01/2012 10:19

How do you know the op wont be delayed? And the hospital door is not in sight of the OPs front door.

kiasport · 05/01/2012 10:19

Bonkers thread.

Why on earth would you take the risk?

Grumpla · 05/01/2012 10:20

Just ask your friend to sit in reception for half an hour until your DD has had a bit of a nap?

I wouldn't leave her, sorry. Too many what-ifs.

loosyloo · 05/01/2012 10:23

i was phoned once to pick my son up after knee surgery

got there expecting him to be ready and waiting at the door as I was told, and he was in bed wired up to monitors. Just as he had got up, he had had a "turn" and had to be taken back to bed and monitored.

I was there about three hours.

AngryMotherF · 05/01/2012 10:27

I can't believe you are even considering it, of course YABU!

Your friend could wait until your dd woke up you know. She will probably have to anyway, these things always take longer than expected.

Pseudo341 · 05/01/2012 10:29

Your friend can wait until your DD wakes up, she'd be very unreasonable to expect otherwise.

Apricots · 05/01/2012 10:32

No way! I panic when I put my dd in the car after shopping and go to put the trolley back - if I get run over in those 20 steps who is to know that my baby is in the car on her own.

Chances are she would be fine but there is always a chance that she won't so why take the risk with the most precious thing in your life?

Lueji · 05/01/2012 10:36

As others have mentioned, chances are that your friend will be delayed and your DD won't be asleep.
And she may well be able to wait until your DD wakes up.

Would it be possible to get a cab just to take her to your house?

If I really had to go out while LO was asleep in the cot, I would probably take baby monitor with me if within range, or leave the landline phone next to the cot with ongoing call to my mobile to act as a makeshift baby monitor.
This if you have a fire alarm at your house and assuming your DD can't get out of the cot by herself.

Almostfifty · 05/01/2012 10:52

Why can't she wait till your little one wakes up? I've never been chucked out of a hospital the second I'm ready to go.

dixiechick1975 · 05/01/2012 10:54

I definitely wouldn't.

The hospital will have a lounge where patients can wait for transport home even if she is discharged from the ward. It is usually where you wait for hospital transport home.

I waited there all afternoon after a GA as I needed DH to get DD from school and then it was over an hour drive for him in traffic to the hospital.

PeanutButterCupCake · 05/01/2012 10:58

No Way YABVU. agree with boysboysboys
anything could happen Sad

dixiechick1975 · 05/01/2012 10:59

If you don't have someone to collect you after GA (and stay with you 24 hours) then you will stay overnight.

Have had several procedures under GA in the last few years - it is usually phrased as you are a candidiate for day surgery if x z z.

Melpomene · 05/01/2012 11:00

I agree with squeakytoy, hospitals can't force a mentally competent adult to stay against their will. I don't think they could stop her calling a taxi if she chooses to do that.

squeakytoy · 05/01/2012 11:06

No way! I panic when I put my dd in the car after shopping and go to put the trolley back - if I get run over in those 20 steps who is to know that my baby is in the car on her own

Now that ^^ is being daft. If by any remote chance you got mowed down in a supermarket carpark, you are very unlikely to be unable to tell people your child is in the car! :)

TheScaryJessie · 05/01/2012 11:09

Someone posted on here once that their friend did something very similar to this (the friend went into labour with child 2, and the husband insisted on driving her to hospital and leaving their older child asleep in bed. The midwives notified Social Services).

Don't do it.

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