to think 7yo is not too old for a comforter?

[PatienceisavirtueIdontpossess]

My dc only just 7 still has a cuddly toy, that is kept on their bed purely for sleep time.

Over the holidays they have been to friend's houses, and at the bottom of the bag is their cuddly toy.

Everyone of these mothers' of friends has commented that my dc is too old for a comforter. I said but it's only used at night, and they did confirm it only came out when it was bedtime, and was put away as soon as my dc got out of bed.

So I can't see the harm of my dc having it.

AIBU?

Of course it's not too old! My 7y old still has his favourite bear on his bed as well as a load of other cuddly toys. He takes the bear with him to sleepovers and all his 7y old friends that have stayed at ours have bought one too.

I feel sorry for the poor little children whose Mothers think they are too old for a cuddly! My DS is 10 and is still attached to Ducky - he comes on holiday and is left in the bed during the day. Ducky is not exactly paraded around, but he is much loved still. Why on earth would anyone discourage something harmless that brings and child comfort and peace in this scary world?

What is 'age appropriate care'??! A 7 year old on a sleepover doesn't want the other child's mother fussing around them! What an extraordinary point of view

I would say someone taking it upon themselves to take away or deny their child's primary-aged friend access to their cuddly toy was exactly that.

Would you think it was an acceptable thing to do?

It's not at all too old, in fact I think it is lovely.

My 11 year old dd is in Guides and the kit list always includes a stuffie (name for teddies here in Canada) she doesn't have a special favourite any more, more an ever growing collection ds still has his comforter (which I term his 'smelly rag') when I suggests that he doesn't take it on sleepovers because his friends might tease him (he is 12) he tells me that his friends all have equivalents (although I note that they don't bring them here).

Oh, and both dh's and my special teddies live with dd's colection. They are both significantly more beaten up than any of hers, but I couldn't bear to throw them away (and that was before watching Toy Story!)

My 10yo has the teddy he was given when he was born on his bed still. It's not that odd really.

I used to run a Brownie pack, and we put a teddy bear on the kit list for camps. The girls were aged between 7 and 10, and nearly all of them would sleep with their teddy, and we did a show and tell with them before bed on the first night. This meant that noone had to feel embarrassed for wanting/needing a teddy for bed, and they got less homesick. I honestly don't see the harm in it, 7 is still quite little to be away for a night and I'd expect most kids that age to take a teddy to a sleepover.

i have a cuddly toy or two that sometimes make their way into our bed dp doesn't mind as he bought them for me early in our relationship and talks to them

i laughed when they were making a big deal of michael jackson sleeping with toys!

7? I am decades older than that and always have been known to take a small bear that was a gift from DH on any overnight longer business trips. Like your DC, I do not have the bear in the meeting room with me during the day so who cares?

Patience I sympathise. People are so nosey and unkind and tbh I'm surprised they don't have better things to do with their time. What diffierence does it make to their lives.

I had a blankie until I was older than your DD. I would take it to bed and to sleep overs. One of my friends mum's was really irked by it and I don't know why. Every time and I mean EVERY time, they came to my house, or I went to theirs for a sleep over and they saw the blankie, they would comment to me and my mum when she dropped me off et al. Eventually, they got the grandmother in on the act who told my mother in so uncertain terms I had to be weaned off it. Then my friend got in on the act and used to take me aside every time and tell me I should be worried as when her grandmother was here and i was here, she might take it away and keep at her house for a while as I shouldn't have it. Her grand mother was apparently over come with rage about 8 year olds having a blankie.

Never mind the fact that my friend was a) Overweight, b) thick (couldn't even spell simple words at 8) and c) her mother was thicker than she was. I don't know why we were friends with them.

My mother eventually blew her top with the whole thing and told my friends mumwhat she thought of her child for a change. My mum said it was very hypocritical to say I had to be weaned off my blankie when every day her own DD's lunch box contained chocolate milk, a galaxy bar and a large packet of crisps, she told her to feed her child properly and get her out for some exericise as she was very overweight!!

Fuck I laughed! GO MUM, I thought. But it had upset me a great deal especailly when my own friend said that she'd get her grandma to take it away from me.

No one has any right to say anything about your child and she is or is not too old for. 7 years old is a baby! I'd think it weird if she didn't have a sleep time toy.

Tell them all to fuck off!

My ds age 7 has snuggles an extremely dirty polar bear. He found a year ago the spare that I alternate through the wash! So now he had 2 special toys/ comforters. He takes them on hols, sleepovers etc. I think it's sweet. He will grow out of it in his own good time.

My teddy and pandy are with me still, though I don't have them in bed with me. DS took Mouse to uni with him, though a couple of years later he has moved out but left Mouse here.

For heaven's sake, my DD is 10 and won't go to sleep without her favourite cuddlies, and a snuggly (a muslin, which she never uses!). So what?

I think some adults get a feeling of superiority by hectoring kids to "grow up". It's very sad.

I think there's something very wrong with those adults, and nothing whatsoever wrong with your child.

I'm considerably more mature than 7, but in times of trouble my threadbare plushie still comes out of the wardrobe for a bit of a cuddle. I don't see the problem with having a comfort item and I'm really glad that you're not going to take it away, if someone had tried to take my animal I'd have been traumatised!

When you talk about a comforter, do you mean a dummy? There's nothing wrong with a cuddly toy but any child is too old for a dummy. I wouldn't give any of my children a dummy. Ugh!

When you talk about a comforter, do you mean a dummy? There's nothing wrong with a cuddly toy but any child is too old for a dummy. I wouldn't give any of my children a dummy. Ugh!

Judgey pants on eh? You're not better than the people who criticised the op's child for having a night time toy. What difference does it make to your life if a young child has SHOCK HORROR an evil dummy.

I'd be fairly surprised at a 7 year old who didn't bring a small Comfortable Friend with them on a sleepover. Certainly, when my dcs went on cub camp, there was barely one of them without a teddy or similar.

I also recall questions being asked when ds2 came home from university and "casually" mentioned that he hadn't seen Rosie Rabbit for a while. Not that I tell his fiancee this, of course.

thepeoplesprincess there is no suggestion that any of the mothers were going to take the toy away. The OP's comment was that she did not intend to take it away from her own child.

Not that I tell his fiancee this, of course

You can't ever tell his fiancee that FFS!

Wait until they're married then bring RR out for the wedding speeches....

Pandemoniaa when my 2 were in Beavers/Cubs the kit list included 'cuddly friend to take to bed'. Every child had one so no one would have felt singled out for needing one.

A1980 according to my dentist a dummy can cause deformities of the palate if used beyond 2.5 years so that's a valid reason for discouraging their use past the age of 2. A cuddly toy won't cause physical harm!

Now you mention it fortyplus I recall precisely that being on their kit list. Certainly, Akela and Mrs Akela had no desire to unsettle the boys because of some ridiculous idea that the boys in their care at camp should give up such modest comforts.

Ah, now I wish I had given son1 a dummy. I could have got rid of a dummy. Can't get rid of his bloody thumb, the dentist has a go at me every time we go.

Fortyplus, they do if the child sucks their thumb while holding it. Many MANY children that. You can't cut their thumb off.