To think that DH is being a babyish nobend?

[BaublesandCuntingCarolSingers]

This is going to sound childish. I KNOW it's childish so don't ned any smartarses telling me as much.

DH and I in the car tonight talking about what we would have for tea. I said maybe just cheese and crackers since we had a fair sized lunch at 2.30. DH agreed. Then he asked what food was left in the christmas snack cupboard. I remarked that we didn;t actually have a lot of chocolate left as DH had SCOFFED his way through our second tin of Roses in a fortnight. He got all defensive saying that it was my own fault I didn't get any chocolates because I wasn't quick enough and they were there to be eaten. I agreed that they were but I said "It's not all or nothing; you can eat SOME and leave some for others. You don't need to scoff the lot!" He disagreed.

THEN he accused me of being a misery over christmas. TBH, I was a bit lemon-lipped on Christmas day itself; recovering from a stomach virus, was feeling sick/shaky and cooking dinner pushed me over the edge into feeling like I wanted to puke my innards out. He is whining because whenever we've had guests/been to friend's houses, I've been happy and why couldn't I make that effort wth him?! I have played through the pain a bit when guests have been here and been a bit quiet the rest of the time. Today, I have felt fine so have been chatty etc He said "You've been OK today. Keep it like that." WTF?! patronising git, I've felt ILL. Keep it like that?! Just to make YOU feel better?! You arse.

I want to do bad things to him. Cheeky tosser. AIBU?

Just to reiterate, the fat knacker has eaten 1000g of Roses in about 8 days.

No. For the "you've been ok today, keep it like that" comment alone, you are not being unreasonable on the whole thing. You get the entire AIBU ruled in your favour on account of that one

(You do know that the small print of the marriage contract allows you to sit on him and pull out all his pubes with a pair of tweezers for a remark like that, don't you? It's true. I read it.)

Sounds like a right Christmas Bell to me

YANBU, hopefully just a temporary switch to a twatty service and he'll resume normality again soon?

YANBU. I bet he left the empty wrappers in the tin too. Makes me feel stabby.

Sounds like he is having a sugar crash!!
Life is not a bed, or tin, of Roses. Boom boom.

Nbu, btw.

Remember, it takes 141 muscles to frown at him, and only 4 to smack him in the head.

I ate a whole tin of Quailty Street in six days.

Yabu about the chocolates. A tin in this house wouldn't last 2 days, never mind 2 weeks.

Yanbu about his other comments, what a knobber!

YABU.

How dare you make light of such an oppressive Christmas snack regime? The crap your DH and DS have had to endure, and the hell they will have to go through to get their chocolate freedom outweighs any comments they may make which YOU construe as patronising.

Makes me SICK.

On the pretext of "playing with DD's new phone", I filmed my DH demolishing the best part of a tin of Quality Street. It was like watching a machine.

Pick up sweet. Unwrap sweet. Put sweet in mouth. Drop wrapper in tin and find next sweet. Unwrap sweet while still chewing. Gulp. Put sweet in mouth.

He was actually a little shocked by himself when I showed him. Still said, "Well, you should have just asked." when I pointed out that I hadn't had one chocolate.

Oh it wasn't one tin that lasted two weeks... He opened one tin on the 16th and demolished them within 4 days, then we bought more on christmas eve and they were dust by the 28th.

I hope he gets constipated.

"Still said, "Well, you should have just asked." when I pointed out that I hadn't had one chocolate."

Fucking FUMING on your behalf.

I was told that I was too slow. Or as good as. Too slow or you're just a gluttonous pig with all of the self-control of Augustus Gloop in Greggs.

ViviPru

Well i think this is all very childish.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuck you!

Oh and DH: you might be able to eat three stone in chocolate and NOT put weight on but I bet your arteries are crying themselves to sleep.

What you need to do is take out a selection of chocolates for yourself when you first open the tin and hide them in your knicker draw

I will do that, Nigel. Seeing as DH obviously thinks that it is a motherfucking race to see who can eat their bodyweight in chocolates first.

Bloater.

Drop wrapper in tin and find next sweet

That offence is punishable by deathstares in this house..

I fecking hate people who do that!!!!

Come round my gaff - I have an opened tin of M&S rip off Roses but have only eaten one. I've been giving any chocolate gifts away. I'm not a fan.

The 'keep it like that' comment. DH once said that about DD1 about 6mths, and I had just got her settled in car seat when we about to go out and he suddenly remembered everything he had to do before he was ready...he gets no chocolates in this house.

TBF to old Buster Bloodveseel here he didn't drop his discarded wrappers back into the tin. He just made all the wrappers into a sodding rugby ball and left it on the sofa for me to pick up.

I'm on me way, Shandy!

Yes, he is clearly a twatweevil deluxe. I love the phrase "lemon-lipped" and for that alone am on your side. WHy didn't he cook dinner if you weren't feeling well? Prat.

I scream a little bit inside, when I see my DS rootling for the toffee penny. He'll take a long fingery one if he can't find one. TAKING MY GOLDEN LOVELY SWEETIES!

If DD turns out to like the fondanty wrong ones then she will be my favourite child.