To think that DH is being a babyish nobend?

[BaublesandCuntingCarolSingers]

This is going to sound childish. I KNOW it's childish so don't ned any smartarses telling me as much.

DH and I in the car tonight talking about what we would have for tea. I said maybe just cheese and crackers since we had a fair sized lunch at 2.30. DH agreed. Then he asked what food was left in the christmas snack cupboard. I remarked that we didn;t actually have a lot of chocolate left as DH had SCOFFED his way through our second tin of Roses in a fortnight. He got all defensive saying that it was my own fault I didn't get any chocolates because I wasn't quick enough and they were there to be eaten. I agreed that they were but I said "It's not all or nothing; you can eat SOME and leave some for others. You don't need to scoff the lot!" He disagreed.

THEN he accused me of being a misery over christmas. TBH, I was a bit lemon-lipped on Christmas day itself; recovering from a stomach virus, was feeling sick/shaky and cooking dinner pushed me over the edge into feeling like I wanted to puke my innards out. He is whining because whenever we've had guests/been to friend's houses, I've been happy and why couldn't I make that effort wth him?! I have played through the pain a bit when guests have been here and been a bit quiet the rest of the time. Today, I have felt fine so have been chatty etc He said "You've been OK today. Keep it like that." WTF?! patronising git, I've felt ILL. Keep it like that?! Just to make YOU feel better?! You arse.

I want to do bad things to him. Cheeky tosser. AIBU?

NanyPlum, you are my hero.

I'm definitely saving "fat knacker" for what I suspect will be a very forthcoming occasion.

I'm lucky at home. Nobody troughs down treats. But then I was brought up by a mother who took no prisoners if anyone got to the Orange Cream before her. Dcs have grown up similarly respectful. Probably because I am as unforgiving as my DM. Treats are to be savoured, not pigged down immediately lest famine strikes.

However, I am about to go "into panto" and amongst the cast and crew we have a Fat Knacker Extraordinaire. All treats have to be kept at the other end of the table and there is virtually no humiliation that keeps his podgy fingers off the shared delicacies that he scoffs single-fat-fistedly. Even the year when, while designing the programme, I described him in the cast list as Firstname "Ate All the Pies" Surname had no effect on his gluttony.

My sympathies go out to you, Baubles. I can only suggest that you give the Bunterish Bastard a tuckbox. Which is his, all his. Any forays into Other People's Treats will result in Gonads Nailed to the Nearest Goalposts.

Children! Children! After all this, there will be no Roses or Celebrations etc next Christmas. Full stop. That's the answer unless your DH buys them himself next Christmas and he can then eat them because they are his.

Actually we haven't bought tins of chocolates for ourselves for years even when we had visitors coming. We haven't missed them and we haven't put on any weight because of the lack.

Am giggling over every other post. V sorry that you've all been deprived, but quality comedy has resulted...

I have to admit to eating ten of those wedge shaped caramels all at once from a tin of chocolates when I was away at Christmas!

Fat Knacker Extraordinaire and Bunterish Bastard.

Please send him here to eat all our bastard chocolates. You could rent the greedy git out and make cash.

"our marriage basically consists of two friends who have sex" Honey? That seems a pretty good description of a good marriage so kick the arse in the nuts!

We took all our Christmas chocolates to my mother's house for NYE and promptly ate them all there.

Bjups - your Dp is clearly a chocolate guzzling nobweasel.

DH knows to:
? Offer me the tin first
? Chivalrously eat the disgusting blue coconut ones
? Always order the large popcorn at the cinema

My DSis and kids arrived yesterday before I could hide the chocolates. And she puts the wrappers back in the tin... :( I have a tin full of wrappers.

Love this thread, particularly 'treat witness protection programme'.

I think the main point I have got from this thread is....
ONE OF YOU KNOWS WHERE TO GET COFFEE CREAMS AND ISN'T SAYING!!!

Fess the Fuck Up Right Bloody Now and Tell Me Where To Get Them!

Where are the sodding coffee creams? With the exception of the Terry's Dark Chocolate Selection, there's not a coffee cream to be seen in any of the formerly usual places.

Are there coffee creams in Revels still ?
puts Revels on shopping list for tomorrow

I haven't read the whole thread, but 'fat knacker' made me chuckle.

He has been greedy (or greedig, as we say in my house). I'd make him buy some more chocs and then deny him any!

Various coffee creams can be found in thorns selection boxes ... Now calm the fuck down you've still got time to get some they haven't called in the administrators yet.

Thorntons even

I am loving the thought of moving treats around, like they are on a witness protection scheme.

I might try hiding mine in dh's tool box, seeing as though he never seems to use it.