"I can't eat too much Christmas lunch, I'm too full of pringles". WTAF?!!

[Flubba]

Okay, so custy clearly wins on the shit Christmas front, but I'd like to hear your crappy Christmas stories. It'd give me good cheer!

Mine was the line "I can't eat too much Chritsmas lunch, I'm too full of pringles " from my FIL after I'd been preparing and cooking all fecking morning and then some.

for the sake of those getting their Christmas knickers in a twist about this not being an AIBU , here goes...

You're right piglet she won't. DH reckons that she'll send FIL over in the next day or two. Bless that poor man he has a life of hell and I love him dearly.

megatron You are not causing a major rift, if anyone is causing one it's her and I very much doubt it will come to that because she's just too 'me me me' not to have an audience for long!!

Did DH sent that text? He should - it will help to get this sorted out.

well, it will be nice to see FIL wont it :)

If he, the poor bloke, brings it up, simply say what was in that text - but I do think DH should send that text to her ASAP.

Megatron - it's MIL's FAULT, not yours. SHE has created this whole situation, not you. DO NOT take any responsibility for this! And get your DH to send that text, if he hasn't already done so.

unMNly (((hugs))) for you - Stay Strong!

He didn't text back but I'm going to ask him to tonight. He's not really worried about it, he says not seeing her for a bit will be a relief but his dad pops in 3 or 4 times a week, I think he needs time away from her to be honest, and I don't want that to stop. He just wants a quiet life.

It's good DH feels like that. I think I'm a little bit in love with your DH

Poor FIL, still, I'm sure he will keep popping by and you can reassure him that your issue with MIL does not affect how you feel about him at all. Then change the subject!

When he does text back, he needs to be absolutely clear with her that she is the one at fault - she knew a meal was being made, and deliberately insisted on going out for a meal beforehand. That was incredibly discourteous to you and to all those with her, and he needs to tell her that she is the one who needs to apologise, because you are not 'on your high horse', you, and he, are rightly offended and angry, and when she has apologised (and not before), you will consider bringing the children round.

Love the idea of flangelina planning her unborn child's Christmas meal routine for 2013+ !!

Meg how can you possibly be in the wrong? What was your crime, after all? Spending hours (on Christmas night, when everyone else in the country was passed out in an armchair) preparing food for the next day, cooking it and then looking a bit on being CASUALLY told that all your guests had already eaten, after turning up an hour and a half late.

And am I the only one who is wondering how the SIL can't have known they were meant to be eating at Meg's?

Mega, my dad is like your MIL re apologies, until this year he has only once apologized to.me, and that was for something enormous and years after the event. I say until this year, because he/we had a falling out of mega proportions, mainly involving him carrying out an amazingly calm and reasonable character assassination on me and DH. Now, his comments to me I can handle and am used to, but my lovely DH? Well, he could fuck right off. I very calmly told him so...without the swearing obviously!

Anyway, after a stand off of a few days during which I spoke to my mum as normal, he eventually phoned and not only apologised to me, but also issued the most whole hearted apology to DH that I have ever heard, let alone from my dad. He has since made a real effort to 'behave'.

This isn't intended as a derail, but to show that sometimes even the most dyed in the wool arses can change a little when it is made clear they need to. You and DH have behaved with utter grace so far, and have the upper hand. By all means have FIL round etc, but hold your ground with MIL. You haven't caused or done anything!

Stay strong Megatron!!

Clam - surely all MIL would have to do (assuming Meg didn't speak to SIL/BIL on Christmas day) would be to say "oh, the plan is we'll eat first then go to Megs, I've booked a table at X place, is that ok?" and why would SIL think "oh, better just check with Meg that she's not cooking a meal too, MIL might be lying."

Meg - you stand firm.

Clam, I'll probably end up giving it a Greggs.

Any update Megatron? Some people just seem to sail through life by being so outrageously audacious that they leave everyone speechless in their wake don't they. Unbloodybelieveable.

Oi Megatron - how's it going?

Marking my place.

GotAsFarAsMrsWhitakerTiggaxx

phew its taken me 2 hrs to read all the post, so shocking tho, makes my xmas seem boring!!
Also waiting for Meg update!

Meg, if you call her you validate her behaviour, trust me as the daughter of 2 toxics the cycle will NEVER end if you do this. FIL is a grown man and can think of some excuse to get out of the house to visit.

BigHugsToAllTiggaxx

My brother did exactly the same as megatrons, last summer at family BBQ I hosted. Still angry/upset that he could turn up 4hrs late having taken his family for MacDonalds on way over, leaving me with piles of food gone cold, and not apologise. He was laughing when he walked in, and there was me thinking something had happened and being worried.

More fool me, just another example of how much he dislikes me, and of his complete contempt. I dont know why .

Am reading advice with interest.

Sorry I didn't update before I didn't want you all to think I was just harping on about it all the time!

Still heard nothing from MIL . FIL has been round a few times as normal and now he's really pissed off with her too because she's trying to stop him from coming round. She said that if she isn't 'allowed' to see their grandchildren then it isn't fair if he comes round to see them. Stupid, stupid woman, she's making herself and everyone around her unhappy (again). The children are asking after her and I've been making excuses as I don't know what to tell them.

Even if I did ring now, I'm not sure how things will progress from here on. DH says if she hasn't been in touch by the weekend that he will go round and talk to her and try to make her see how this whole situation arose. I do feel guilty though, I know what she can be like and I've probably let things go too far but I really want to break the cycle of her behaving appallingly and me apologising for her behaviour to keep the peace. I'm back at work today so that might take my mind off it a bit.

Mega, you are doing the right thing, you have to get this monster woman under control and a face off seems to be the only way. Stay strong. And do NOT apologise to her.

Agreed, you can't go on apologising when she is the one that behaves badly. It's great that you have the support of DH and FIL. If she had just left it it could have potentially blown over but sending the text about you being on a high horse attempts to put the blame for the situation with you and requires you to be the one to make amends. That's very controlling. You're doing the right thing.

Oh I have enjoyed this thread.

Been lurking and also wanted to add STAY STRONG MEGATRON!

It's a good chant that, all we need is pom poms

Don't let MIL start with the guilt.

Megatron don't you dare feel guilty and don't you dare ring her!! I would suggest DH doesn't go around their either. It's not too late to send the text and I think that's what you should do. If DH goes around or you phone her you totally lose out. Not only will she carry on before, but she will do so knowing that she only has to stay away and stop to FIL again to get her own way - you cannot let yourselves be manipulated by her any longer.

As for the children, I would tell them that Granny has been very naughty and until she apologises she isn't allowed to come over. If they ask what she did you could just say that she was telling lies that caused a big arguement and it was very naughty.