Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"I can't eat too much Christmas lunch, I'm too full of pringles". WTAF?!!

290 replies

Flubba · 27/12/2011 07:01

Okay, so custy clearly wins on the shit Christmas front, but I'd like to hear your crappy Christmas stories. It'd give me good cheer! Xmas Grin

Mine was the line "I can't eat too much Chritsmas lunch, I'm too full of pringles " from my FIL after I'd been preparing and cooking all fecking morning and then some. Xmas Angry Xmas Hmm

for the sake of those getting their Christmas knickers in a twist about this not being an AIBU Xmas Wink, here goes...

OP posts:
ScroobiousPip · 28/12/2011 09:34

Just read this thread and Shock at Megatron.

Mine's not so bad (and a bit late now) but I could still use a vent. Ex-DH and I both live overseas. Ex-PILs are visiting. Ex-DH insisted, absolutely insisted, he wanted to do Xmas at his house. I volunteered to help so was rostered to do cake, puddings, cheeses, brunch bits and some of the wine. Ex-DH was supposedly doing the main course which suited me fine as I've just come off crutches and find it difficult to stand for long periods of time. Arrived at his Xmas morning. He'd done bugger all. Hadn't even prepped the veg or made the vegetarian 'pie' centrepiece thing. Oh, and he hadn't bothered to tell anyone the timetable for the day so his PILs hardly touched the huge brunch I made because they assumed lunch was going to happen shortly after. So, needless to say, I spent all sodding day getting the whole meal ready from scratch, running back to mine everytime I discovered ex-DH had forgotten to buy an ingredient, with 3yo DS going into a chocolate-fuelled hungry meltdown in the meantime. Oh, and it was a boiling hot day here so the kitchen was like a sauna. Finally served up dinner at 4.20pm, absolutely shattered and too dehydrated to enjoy a glass of plonk.

The best bit? There were tonnes of leftovers so I suggested they bring them over to mine for a Boxing Day lunch. Was really looking forward to eating a reheated Xmas dinner without all the hassle of cooking it. Anyway, I got told that ex-DH and his family had made 'other plans' for the day (to which DS and I weren't invited). So, DS and I had fishfingers and chips on Boxing Day cos that was practically all I had left in the house. Oh, and we've spent the rest of the holidays on our own too, apparently not having been invited to any of their other celebrations. The un-Chrissmasy Scrooge in me hopes they choked on the leftovers. Wink

TheHappyCamper · 28/12/2011 09:36

Well done megatron. Stay strong! I honesly think have never read of anyone being so deiberately rude (and it is quite obvious it was deliberate). If you make a decision not to accept any more crap from her, you will start to feel a sense of relief that you don't have to tread on egg shells round her all the time - quite liberating! This will be even easier as you have your DH's full support. Good Luck.

My own story is actually quite funny really - we cooked a huge turkey dinner on xmas day for my parents and ate left overs again on boxing day, twice! MIL and FIL invited us round to theirs for a meal last night (she said she was going to do a buffet) but yesterday DH bumped into FIL and he said "Oh she's decided to do a lovely roast dinner instead!" Shock Grin

In actual fact it was very nice and she had gone to masses of effort and we all ate loads, but my GOD, if I never eat a roast dinner again I think I'll be a happy woman Grin

Thumbinnapuddingwitch · 28/12/2011 09:46

Scroobious - I think yours is pretty bad as well, tbh!! Outrageous behaviour on the part of the ex (and possibly a good example of why he IS an ex) - what an idle git! And how mean to exclude DS from everything. Xmas Sad

Megatron - no, she doesn't sound like the sort who would apologise. If you're feeling particularly mean, you might want to double check arrangements for everything from now on, just to show that you haven't forgotten. As in "So, I know you said you were coming for lunch tomorrow - I just want to make sure that you are expecting to eat at my house, not somewhere else just before you arrive, like you did at Christmas?" But I expect that's childish, PA and just silly (I'd still do it at least once though! Xmas Grin)

ScroobiousPip · 28/12/2011 10:03

Don't worry, Thumb, I've thoroughly spoiled him with trips to the beach, picnics, icecreams and the like so he hasn't missed them at all. Tbh, we've probably had more fun on our own!

Thumbinnapuddingwitch · 28/12/2011 10:11

You're in my neck of the world, aren't you? (Aus) - is it QLD?

Anniegetyourgun · 28/12/2011 10:17

Scroobius... you do realise you fell right into his trap there, don't you? That the idea always was that you would do all the work and supply most of the ingredients? Obviously he didn't put it like that in advance. If he ever "insists" you eat round there again, only for dinner not to be even started, the right response is NOT to run yourself ragged for the next 6 hours trying to make up for his shortcomings, but to gather up the stuff you've brought and take it home again. Tell him to let you know when dinner is likely to be ready so you can come round for it. Be prepared for rather a long wait. (Like, forever.) And never, never take stuff over to his house that you might need the next day, because you know you aren't going to get it back.

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." In other words, he is an arse for doing this to you, but if it happens again you'd be a real mug to fall for it. (Not that he won't still be an arse, obviously.)

Anniegetyourgun · 28/12/2011 10:19

Oh, and well done Megatron and Mr Megatron. One wonders why the fact you didn't phone yesterday was being "on your high horse" whereas the fact she didn't phone yesterday was... what? (Actually one doesn't wonder at all.)

ScroobiousPip · 28/12/2011 10:36

Just across the pond - in NZ.

Annie, you're so right of course, I am a mug in so many ways when it comes to ex-DH. At the time I just hated the idea of ruining DS's and ex-PILs Xmas day. I had been proud of staying on good terms with ex-PILs since ex-DH left but on this visit they've made it pretty clear where I stand in the pecking order so I will take your advice and shan't waste any more time worrying about any of them again. Smile

Omgomgomgomg · 28/12/2011 10:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

clam · 28/12/2011 10:40

The bloody-minded part of me would pledge not to go round there EVER, until a proper apology had been dragged from her. And even then, I think I'd take my time over it. And do NOT let anyone start persuading you that it will only hurt the children missing out on seeing their grandmother. That's her fault. They'll cope.

clam · 28/12/2011 10:43

omg actually you know, that briefly crossed my mind, earlier in the thread. Because it's such an unpleasant unnecessary thing to do that she'd have to be a complete monster otherwise.
So, if it really is a health issue, then you'd be kind and caring to suggest help. And if it's not, then you'd really piss her off! Grin

Omgomgomgomg · 28/12/2011 10:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 28/12/2011 10:54

Reading this thread has me almost on my knees in gratitude for my mil. She and bil came to stay over christmas - bil vacuumed the whole house for me, and mil helped with all the food prep for christmas, especially all the washing up. Everyone said how delicious the food was, gave thoughtful presents and loved the presents they were given.

I would love to invite Scroobius and Megatron and all the other badly treated mumsnetters to my house for christmas next year! I will happily share my lovely mil with all of you.

moondog · 28/12/2011 10:57

Thanks for clearing that up Flubba! Grin

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 28/12/2011 10:57

I think that maybe megatron's dh needs to send a text back to his mum:

'Mum - Meg is not on her high horse. She and I are both justifiably angry at your rude behaviour the other day. To deliberately go out for a meal when you knew she was cooking was the height of bad manners, and we will not be bringing the children round until you have apologised properly.'

Thumbinnapuddingwitch · 28/12/2011 11:05

That's a good idea, SDTG. Can't imagine it will work, but it's still a very good idea.
Glad you had a good time - your ILs sound lovely! Xmas Smile

purpleknittingmum · 28/12/2011 11:07

Oh yes that would be an excellent text to send!

clam · 28/12/2011 11:50

Excellent text. You say she's never apologised in her life? Of course not, if no one's ever called her on her behaviour. Well, here's a very good time to start. A text like that states your position on the matter clearly and calmly, and puts the ball very firmly in her court.

MrsJangleBalls · 28/12/2011 11:56

Flubba - few! Was seriously worried about your ham there for a minute.

Xmas Wink
MildlyNarkyPuffin · 28/12/2011 12:20

Pales into insignificance compared to some of the stuff on here, but ILs said they would see us at New Year as they thought we'd be at my parents for Christmas. Then on the Thursday 22nd they asked what we were doing for Christmas Confused.

On Christmas day when DH phoned them they were really short with him and the DCs, and decided not to open their presents because not enough of their DCs were there.

Katisha · 28/12/2011 12:28

Well done Megatron. Don't cave in. It's hard to change your behaviour overnight and you will probably get wobbles of what you consider to be reasonableness. But she really really needs calling on this one. How much more hurtful could it be to choose the most major festival of the year in terms of entertaining, Christmas Dinner, to pretend to have forgotten someone was cooking it for you and stuff yourself and your family beforehand?
.
Even if she cant admit it to herself she has obviously chosen the most hurtful put-down in her power at this time of year. You must absolutely get DH to send the recommended text. And she is NOT to use your children as weapons in her aggression. Because that is what it is, however passive.

andaPontyinaPearTreeeeee · 28/12/2011 14:33

It would be awesome if mega's DH sends that text in reply!

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 28/12/2011 15:05

Mega Well done!! I do think DH sending that text would be a good idea!!

Nonnon - Just remember that Christmas is not about the children when it comes to mealtimes. Otherwise we'd all be eating alphabetti spaghetti at 11.45am That really made me laugh!! It's soooo true!

Thumb :( Pip :( and a few spare :('s & hugs for everyone else too. There are some rude, hard work, horrible, thoughless people out there aren't there!!

clam · 28/12/2011 15:12

Sending a text like SDTG suggests is vital, because otherwise, you'll all sink into a wary cold war. Then the mil will start acting as if nothing's happened and you're just being arsey for nothing, you'll feel it's too late to put her right, and then it'll all get swept under the carpet. Again. Until the next time.

Get this sorted.

BlatherskitesInFairyLights · 28/12/2011 15:20

Not that it makes her behaviour any better but I believe Megatron's lunch date with the MIL from hell was Boxing day not Christmas day.

Stay strong Megatron. You deserve an apology - make sure you get one!