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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

"I can't eat too much Christmas lunch, I'm too full of pringles". WTAF?!!

290 replies

Flubba · 27/12/2011 07:01

Okay, so custy clearly wins on the shit Christmas front, but I'd like to hear your crappy Christmas stories. It'd give me good cheer!

Mine was the line "I can't eat too much Chritsmas lunch, I'm too full of pringles " from my FIL after I'd been preparing and cooking all fecking morning and then some.

for the sake of those getting their Christmas knickers in a twist about this not being an AIBU , here goes...

OP posts:

DillyTinsel · 27/12/2011 16:32

Well we were lucky to have food at all at my mum's, despite me repeatedly asking what I should bring. "oh just whatever you think I will forget" was her helpful reply. So her fridge had in it a turkey crown, gammon joint, some potatoes, half a swede, eggs, milk, yoghurts and some cheese sauce. Oh and 1 bottle of wine. That is literally it for me, dh & the 2 dd's staying for 2 nights. No party/snack food. The cupboards had some pasta, walkers crisps and some nuts. Plus she had unexpectedly go to work for 3 hours so I made Xmas dinner, as I knew I would have to. We had frozen cheese cake for pudding.

Fortunately i bought mince pies, homemade brownies, carrots and parsnips, cava, satsumas, bananas, Yule log, pop corn,cheese (oh yes, I suggested she get crackers for cheese. She got a pack of Jacobs cream crackers). I also bought croissants for breakfast (she didn't have jam). I had to go begging to a neighbour for some flour to make yorkies.

Some how I managed to feed us, plus various siblings, out of the food for 2 days. I'm like fecking Jesus and the loaves and fishes!

It's just a shame, as for me Xmas is about lovely home cooked food, and not just the, admittedly copious, presents she bought.

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/12/2011 16:36

Not up the the standard of these dreadful relations but my FIL is sending me round the twist so let me tell you... My DH usually helps me to prep and clean as we go when we do big meals (he is awesome ) but this year FIL wanted them to go for a walk before the meal. OK, he wanted an hour and a half walk because everything has to be his way it is a circle. I had asked the other guests to come at 12.30pm for 1pm food (because of blended families we had to eat a little early). From 10am I was saying to the walkers that they should get on because there were timing issues with the other guests. No. He was relaxing and drinking his tea (while I had been prepping the night before and from 7am with no help). They finally left after 11am, getting them back at 1pm. I was still in my pyjamas, cooking and panicking in case we could not feed the guests and their NRP would go apeshit.

FIL then stood around the kitchen with beer, burping every ten minutes and getting in my way. I had to shower during the starter and when I got back into the dining room, it was time for the mains. Great! No. He refused to sit down to eat. I told him I couldn't eat until he started as it would be rude. He wanted to "get the kids sorted first". All four children were impeccably behaved no thanks to him and were eating nicely, having been served ages before. There was method to his madness I have realised. He then sat down to eat half an hour after everyone else. He eats slowly anyway so was still eating three quarters of an hour after we had all finished meaning that he couldn't help clear up with everyone else. Clever. He finished eating exactly as we finished clearing up. I know it was rude to clear around him but his adult children started doing it and I wasn't going to complain.

Thankfully, even though he is rude and selfish, he his DW who died has raised two of the best people in the world. I don't know how since he calls my DD (1 yo) difficult, manipulative, clingy, whiney and thinks she is a PITA. I know this because he felt the need to tell my friends at her birthday party. She doesn't like him

UglyChristmasJumperJockey · 27/12/2011 16:48

Last year our ILs insisted that dd who had just turned two was not allowed any snacks before lunch, which was laid on at 2pm. I'd brought stuff for her to eat and put it in the fridge (we were staying over at theirs) so we could give her an early lunch then she could nap while we all had lumch in peace, but MIL refused to allow me in the kitchen, even though things were running massively late and I repeatedly offered to help. By the time the food came out at 3pm dd was pretty mad with hunger and exhaustion. It does happen if the hostess is a nutter.

Catslikehats · 27/12/2011 16:52

at moonbells : Just goes to show you can be as unreasonable as one can imagine (I mean seriously who works a christmas dinner round a 3 year olds nursery lunctime?!!) and still think it was them that got it wrong!

Just goes to show.

Original poster

Flubba · 27/12/2011 17:10

Wow, some of these are funny, but mostly they are fecking awful!!! Just shown this thread to DH (FIL went home yesterday, sadly! ) and he's taking comfort in others' stories - especially megatron's.

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Anniegetyourgun · 27/12/2011 17:18

Wouldn't let you feed your own child? Wouldn't let you get to the fridge to take your stuff out of it for your child? Bloody hell, it's like Colditz. I'm not sure they could have stopped me, unless with a rugby tackle, depending on what mood I was in though. Sometimes I've let people order me around like that and hated myself for it. Other times I've bitten people's heads off for less, and hated myself for that too... ah well.

FellatioNelson · 27/12/2011 17:30

Me neither Annie - I think I would have just breezed in and announced 'I am sorry but I am going to have to warm up DD's food now, before she screams the place down, but then the rest of us can all relax and enjoy our food while she has a rest. OK?'

Done. You need to get assertive!

CrazyChicken · 27/12/2011 17:43

I invited my friend (a single mum) and her two kids to join us, they all dived in eating their lunch before we'd all sat down then when I did a toast and said merry Christmas she didn't bother to join in. We pulled crackers, she didn't bother until both her son and I asked several times to put your hat on. Then between main and pudding her kids kept asking to go home. She stayed 3 hours, didn't bother to offer to help or bring anything. The week leading up to it I never heard from her. Xmas morning a txt to ask what time should they arrive - no merry christmas or anything!
Not bothering next year!
Oh and Hubby was ill xmas night (stomach bug we all had a few days previously, not my cooking ) and has been in bed till the morning.
And I'm reading on FB how everyone is having such a bloody wonderful time

Anniegetyourgun · 27/12/2011 17:47

It's easy to have a wonderful time on Facebook. You just tell everyone that's what you had. Doesn't have to be true. I suspect most of them aren't. (Not that I use The Evil FB myself, but I've heard things...)

Bethshine82 · 27/12/2011 18:41

Well this does not compare to some horror stories but my MIL gave me duck spring rolls to eat and swore they were tofu. I have been vegetarian for 25 years. I actually ate a mouthful of duck and then realised straight away. I had duck in my mouth. Urgh Urgh Urgh.

Id like to think it was an honest mistake on behalf of mil.

FellatioNelson · 27/12/2011 18:54

But YABVVU for even wanting to eat tofu on Christmas Day or any day.

Tofu is the world's least festive food. It's official.

madsam · 27/12/2011 18:54

Well my Christmas was pretty rough. Knew it would be. Mum died beginnig April and spending with in-laws. Although it was in-laws turn to host a decision was reached to go out for dinner. Cost us best part of £150 and the kids hardly ate anything. Our food was yum though.
BIL who is a nice chap made a joke about his mum embarrassing them and said words to the effect of "at least your mum can.t do that."
Also felt abit like an outsider. Well me and youngest ds. One of dc went to bil and mil called everyone except me and ds2 to jin in for a happy family photo.
Spent yesterday with my siblings and that was pretty emotional.

Original poster

Flubba · 27/12/2011 19:03

Oh, and MIL went on and on about how salty the gammon was we had on Christmas Eve. I rinsed the fucker before cooking it, added no more salt or anything and she just couldn't help herself ~ even hours afterwards she was pouring herself water and "mentioning" how salty it had been. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

OP posts:

Bethshine82 · 27/12/2011 19:08

Yes I know fellatio tofu is disgusting. I only ate it to make an effort as she said she had got it especially for me.

Tofu still preferable to duck for me though! Also it was on boxing day if that helps?

Moominsarescary · 27/12/2011 19:23

Bloody hell, reading this thread makes me glad to have my family, althPugh some of the posters seem abit mad themselves

Moominsarescary · 27/12/2011 19:24

althPugh have no idea what that is, although!

moondog · 27/12/2011 19:28

'I rinsed the fucker before cooking it'

Hilarious

Who gave the canvas print of her kid?
A teeny bit presumptuous do you not think?
I have family members and friends who do stuff like this, and who also do weird shit like buy people china figurines of dog types they already own.

wtaf??

Original poster

Flubba · 27/12/2011 19:34

:o moondog

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moonbells · 27/12/2011 19:42

Goodness me a lot of folk think I'm in the wrong! But yes, re-reading does sound like we were being silly (grovels and concedes point). Amazing how it all depends on your point of view!

Wasn't intending to suggest that it should have been done around him one little bit, just that the (childless) SIL didn't realise about routines. We wouldn't have minded if they'd warned us that this was to be the schedule, and would have taken a tub of something, but they provided breakfast at about 8 then had present opening for over two hours and only at the end was DS allowed his main present. We have video of him plaintively asking for it after endless unwrappings of scarves and gloves... and being told to wait while another load of clothes came out, which they insisted he take to the recipient while not getting any himself.

So from their POV, he was learning to wait and do as he was told by grown-ups. From ours, he was being upset needlessly when he could have been playing quietly in the corner with his present.

When we asked for a snack for him at 12 we were told to wait for dinner... sadly DS has hypoplastic teeth and can't really have chocolate or acidic fruit (and clems were the only things freely available) and so in the end we had to raid their fridge for cheese and bread! Then we got clucked at when DS wasn't that hungry at 3. But bless him he did behave at the table.

Live and learn. And that's why I like MN - you guys can point out the bits where we are in danger of vanishing up our own **ses!

FellatioNelson · 27/12/2011 19:45

Oh well now you put it like that you are sounding a bit more sane.

LydiaWickham · 27/12/2011 19:52

ooh, expecting 3pm to be an acceptable time to feed a toddler a full meal - I feel your pain. Far too late for a little one to last for it to be their lunch, far too early to be dinner. DS also ate the "chicken" (turkey) MIL cooked, refused anything else, and yes, he would normally eat a roast dinner on a sunday MIL, but that would be served between 12 - 1pm, a 3pm meal meant that at around 12 I had to give him a sandwich, you let him pick on crisps and so no, he's not hungry for a full meal, but at 5:30pm, he'll be peckish again...

Young DCs just won't stick to a routine every other day of the year then when you want something different, fit in to it without getting all unsettled/not actually eating.

LydiaWickham · 27/12/2011 19:53

(sorry, went off on my own rant there)

Moominsarescary · 27/12/2011 19:59

Agree now you've told the full story moon your family now sound like the insane ones

clam · 27/12/2011 20:01

Hands moonbells an award for the most gracious "I was being a bit precious" acknowledgement.

MrsWhitaker · 27/12/2011 20:04

My MIL is a bloody nightmare at the best of times. Just for back ground here are a few forinstances - Asking my chief bridesmaid when her baby was due - she wasn't pregnant, constantly asking me at family get togethers when I was goign to give her a grandchild (I have been told since 17 I was infertile 11 years later miracle baby!) despite being told of my conditions, constantly mentioning my weight and telling my 1 year old daughter not to eat to much or she'll be a big girl like Mummy, constantly telling the story of my husbands conception - I could go on. This Christmas we have had my DH's Aunt and 3 of his cousins over for Xmas from the States as they could not bear to be at home as their DH/Dad died suddenly this year. We are sat down at the table discussing their travel plans when MIL pipes up "So you have left your husband on his own at Christmas then?" Talk about devestated!!!! Fair play to Aunt she reminded her gently he was gone and that they were trying hard to make it a happy day and not dwell on him until they were in private. I could have fecking lamped her. Thank god they are rational people. But I felt so bad for his cousins. DH could not apologise enough. And she sits there saying in a little girl lost voice that she was a bitch and a bad bad person. I'm afraid she got told to shut the hell up and that no one felt sorry for her. She has been told countless time this fella has passed on and she is a spiteful cow. But on a good note my daughter is now 2 and 99.9% of Christmas was magical!

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