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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

"I can't eat too much Christmas lunch, I'm too full of pringles". WTAF?!!

290 replies

Flubba · 27/12/2011 07:01

Okay, so custy clearly wins on the shit Christmas front, but I'd like to hear your crappy Christmas stories. It'd give me good cheer!

Mine was the line "I can't eat too much Chritsmas lunch, I'm too full of pringles " from my FIL after I'd been preparing and cooking all fecking morning and then some.

for the sake of those getting their Christmas knickers in a twist about this not being an AIBU , here goes...

OP posts:

notahappycamper · 27/12/2011 12:12

Megatron
It seems to me that your Mil, for whatever reason, feels threatened by you. And she appears to be one of those people who is never happy. If you asked her what she wanted to make a perfect day, and then provided it she would still find fault. She is miserable to the core. You are not. If you pull her up then you will be in the wrong again. You cant win!
My DF has a partner like this - you try to be one step ahead but she is sharp for a woman in her late 70's. I cant do anything right and have given up trying.
Just dont phone her

HerbWoman · 27/12/2011 12:14

Fairy we have red cabbage every Christmas (but with beef) - how can you not? It's red and Christmassy!

redstormrising · 27/12/2011 12:14

oh, and yes- don't phone her megatron

Mulledbee · 27/12/2011 12:15

Am gobsmacked at these stories. I wouldn't phone Meg, that is inexcusable. Fairy, that is unbelievable. I would have kicked them out at the sight of the butterkist!

Fairytightsonmychristmastree · 27/12/2011 12:15

There are some nutty rude families out there isnt there. I bet there are loads of christmas family get together stories to be told.

clam · 27/12/2011 12:16

You know, after seeing how many precious divas there are out there (in their element at this time of year), I sometimes fantasise about having a go myself. We tiptoe around certain people because they demand it. So, mega you should have taken to your bed, sobbing, and let your DH speak in hushed tones to MIL saying how terribly upset you were. Then regular reference should be made in future about "lunch-gate" and the dreadful upset mil caused to you and how you've never got over it.
It's exactly what one of my sils would have done. We're all terrified of her, but my word does she get everything her own way.

clam · 27/12/2011 12:19

redstorm It was YOUR OWN HOUSE he dropped the crisp in? Not even the relative's?

redstormrising · 27/12/2011 12:24

Yes.

I am hiding out and MN today as I am really over it. They have been here since bloody last Thursday.

BalloonSlayer · 27/12/2011 12:29

hahahahaaa at "Seeminglu FIL can only east carrots cut into circles."

I think carrots taste horrible cut in circles, they have to be batons!

(I'd still eat circle ones to be polite though)

mamasin · 27/12/2011 12:31

oh schadenfreude! am having a sad bad xmas but am comforted I'm not alone. Please keep stories coming...

JenniferEight · 27/12/2011 12:35

Megatron, if you continue with this pattern it will never change. It's up to you.

My mother makes excuses for her MIL over and over again, but she clearly gets something out of the weirdness, and enjoys the battle I think.

They are always trying to outwit each other with passive aggression.

I personally have had ENOUGH this year after my granny yet again behaved like a spoilt child and will not be seeing her again.

I told my mother this and she won't give up on her. She just can't seem to detach. It makes me angry and sad. But it's her choice. And mine is to get the feck out of the relationship

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 27/12/2011 12:35

WoodyAllenJesus - tell them not to worry, that you will collect it next time you see them. Then put it up at your house - somewhere prominent that will remind them how disgracefully they behaved and remind you not to put yourself out for them. I am astounded at how some people behave.

Fairy - your story made me laugh when you first posted it (well I assume it was you or we have 2 very similar RedCabbageChristmas stories on MN!!). As you say, easier to look back now and laugh, but JFC - the woman is barking!!! Well, both of them. I'm veggie and would love to be invited next year and to stay for the Boxing Day Bubble & Squeek!!!

Megatron - you are a wimp!! I should lend you my steel capped boots to deal with your barking MIL. I cannot believe you are going to call her and play nice. I'd be digging a large hole in the back garden ready for her next visit. I am really pleased that your DH found his voice though!

Flubba - YANBU How incredibly RUDE. I would be livid too!!

:( :) - as appropriate to everyone else!

StealthPolarBear · 27/12/2011 12:43

at all of these - red cabbage gate, pringle stuffing, the toddler being told off for dropping a crisp in his own home when his parents didn't care

Megatron · 27/12/2011 12:48

I am a wimp Chipping. Actually so many people are saying don't ring her maybe I won't. Every time something like this happens I feel the same way, kind of 'oh well let's get the call out of the way' and I actually think I'm becoming de-sensitised to her crappy behaviour. She adores the children but I really don't want them thinking that Grandma's behaviour is acceptable or even normal. I wonder how long it would take her to contact me if I don't ring.

JenniferEight · 27/12/2011 12:51

Yes spot on. She knows you will take the blame. So she gets away with treating you like shit.

She's bullying you because she knows you'll take it. Time to get angry, I think, and not take it any more. You're not going to apologise for this and you're not going to call her.

StealthPolarBear · 27/12/2011 12:51

oh and Megatron's of course. Ebven if she 'forgot' that the time was originally 12 and she changed it to 1, who has had their christmas dinner by 1pm. They must have wolfed theirs down at 11.45 (or did they just have a Tesco turkey sandwich?)

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 27/12/2011 12:54

Megatron - you shouldn't ring her. Your DH & BIL are finally united in their front against her horrible behaviour - this would be a good time to put your foot down and say enough is enough. Let her make the first move - see how long it takes. It is time to show the children that as much as you all love their GM her behaviour is, sometimes, not acceptable and that you don't have to tolerate it. That you deserve respect. Don't worry about how long it takes her to call - she will eventually.

JenniferEight · 27/12/2011 12:54

sorry, I am talking to my own mother!!! You're not the same I'm sure, but it is a good point that your children will see you taking this treatment and will also make excuses for accepting behaviour like that of your MIL.

I said to my mum the other day that I thought having grown up seeing her and dad constantly making excuses for being treated appallingly led to my own acceptance of bad treatment for my boyfriends.

It was because I made excuses for them. Oh he is just insecure, he's got some issues, it's not his fault, no relationship is perfect.

I'd watched them do this for years and years and it taught me to accept being bullied. So you will be doing the right thing if you stand up to her.

Not suggesting your children will be damaged if you don't, but just saying...they are learning from how you handle it.

Good luck

Megatron · 27/12/2011 12:55

I'm not ringing her. I may be back later for some hand holding and if it all goes tits up I am blaming all of you.

I agree though, I am 'enabling' (sounds poncy i know) her to carry on like this by putting up with it. Oh my days, maybe I will have grown a backbone by the end of the day!

sandyballs · 27/12/2011 12:56

Some funny stories here! and sad I can't believe some people, it's shocking.

I'm not exactly obese, I'm 5ft 9 and weight about 12 stone, so could do with losing a bit, but FIL is just so fecking rude and I;m pissed off DH didn't say more. I eventually said to FIL, you can't talk, you're hugely overweight, and his reply was 'I'm an old man, you're too young to let yourself go' . His 10 year old grand-daughters heard him and I try hard not to go on about weight etc in front of them.

MIL pissed me off too, whilst I'm at it . Our house is open plan and the DD's were in the front room and me and MIL were in the kitchen, we could all hear one another and she says in a very loud staged whisper 'I think you should tell them santa isn't real, I just can't understand why they still believe it all, it's incredibly odd'.

CuriousMama · 27/12/2011 13:03

just read megatron's message, what an evil MIL you have Am glad BIL was on your side though, she's shown her true colours.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 27/12/2011 13:04

Megatron - it may get worse before it gets better :/ But actually I think she's more likely to just ring up about something else and gloss over it. Up to you whether you illicit an apology or just allow it to be glossed over. Whatever you do though, do not let it become your fault.

Hands at the ready.

What has DH had to say about it today?

Sandyballs that your FIL would speak to you like that?? How old were you when you met him? I'd be pissed off with your DH too. As for your MIL - when I get my steel capped boots back from Megatron I will lend them to you! I hope you said 'It's lovely that they still believe and the person that ruins that will be very sorry! ' . Shooting is too good for some people.

CuriousMama · 27/12/2011 13:04

FFS you were going to ring her? To give her a bollocking I hope? Agree you don't want your dcs seeing you be a mug.

CuriousMama · 27/12/2011 13:06

sandyballs

Shutupanddrive · 27/12/2011 13:10

megatron don't you dare ring her!!!

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