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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bloody disgusting coughs and my baby

39 replies

Glowbuggy · 23/12/2011 19:25

In-laws have just arrived for Christmas with THE most phlegmy rotten coughs. First thing they did was pick up their new grand child and smother him with kisses. AIBU to tell them not to touch, or go near my baby? I know I am but yuck - I don't want him catching that! How do I do this politely?

OP posts:
Zimbah · 23/12/2011 19:28

How old is the baby, I'm guessing fairly new? It's difficult, tbh most people I know would not kiss a baby if they had a bad cold/cough. It's probably a bit late now anyway if they've been kissing him already.

Zimbah · 23/12/2011 19:28

Oops forgot, I think YANBU!

Zimbah · 23/12/2011 19:29

Well maybe YABU to tell them not to go near your baby, but you could ask them not to kiss him/wash their hands before holding him. God I'm crap at AIBU, not sure this is the right topic for me Grin

G1nger · 23/12/2011 19:32

Bastards! Yanbu.

Original poster
Glowbuggy · 23/12/2011 19:34

Thanks, I know I'm BU, he is only 10 weeks old and I'm a bit precious. I do think they should not kiss him, and wash their hands, they have no common sense when it comes to thing s like this. Oh well too late now I guess.

OP posts:
Original poster
Glowbuggy · 23/12/2011 19:35

Ha ha G1nger

OP posts:
G1nger · 23/12/2011 19:36

Get yourself Baby Nose Clear and some tixilix drops for if your baby's nose blocks up. Hopefully it won't x

G1nger · 23/12/2011 19:37

(I'm precious about my baby too - 14 weeks. I mean really, of course we are!)

birdsofshoreandsea · 23/12/2011 19:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

runningwilde · 23/12/2011 19:41

God I hate it when people say you are being precious when you are being perfectly reasonable to not want cough infested people slobbering over your little baby. You need to tell them - seeing as they are too bloody selfish to keep their cough away from him. Yanbu and you must not feel bad in saying something although you shouldn't bloody well have to, they should be more considerate.

duvetdayplease · 23/12/2011 19:47

It's not just your baby - I was bloody itching to give the coughy woman at the doctors a rollocking for not covering her mouth. Gross!

Just ask them nicely, if they're half decent they'll understand. Even if it is a little over-protective, it's pretty normal not to want germs spread about if it can be avoided.

Cankulzof · 23/12/2011 19:52

"slobbering" and "selfish"? FFS, it's their new grandchild and they are probably delighted and slightly beside themselves to be able to hold him. You can't keep him away from germs forever and about 75% of people have a cold at the moment*

*128% of statistics on the internet are made-up

Zimbah · 23/12/2011 19:56

Cankulzof- But will they hang around to nurse their grandchild through the night when he comes down with a bad cold and has to sleep upright all night on mum/dad? No? I know you can't keep babies away from germs forever, and especially with DC2's etc you are forced to relax, but there's no reason to encourage colds spreading to little babies either.

IHaveAFeatureWallAndILikeIt · 23/12/2011 20:02

wow, i think that is selfish! Yes there are colds going around and most babies will probably pick one up at this time of year, but that is EXTRA reason to be careful around such new babies!! Its so hard to criticise older relatives though. But I have been known to make people with colds use hand gel before touching my baby, hehe! Just play it down under the "i'm really sorry to ask as it is my problem not yours because you are not being unreasonable and not a thoughtless, selfish idiot, its just that as a normal human being paranoid new mother, can i ask you to use this hand gel before touching my baby while you have a cold." speech.

IHaveAFeatureWallAndILikeIt · 23/12/2011 20:04

you need a 5 year old around, apparently when i was little i used to tell granny off for not putting her hand over her mouth when she coughed.

Teaandchristmascakeplease · 23/12/2011 20:05

YANBU at all. I make sure I do not cuddle friends babies if I have a cold. But then again mine are only 2 & 4 and the memories from the sleepless nights when they had colds are not a distant memory yet. In fact it would foul up their sleep routine for days after

mrsred · 23/12/2011 20:06

Yanbu, they shouldn't have come to stay if unwell, think you are totally right to ask them to was hands frequently and not have them near baby, understand they will want to hold baby but surely they know it's in best interests not to whilst I'll (especially as so young), won't have completed immunisations either yet, and having just had our baby get over his first cold, you could do much better things with your new years eve than worry about a poorly baby.

Teaandchristmascakeplease · 23/12/2011 20:08

I like featurewall's idea.

Yes my DD age 4 comes out with some choice things right now. Especially around smokers. She sounds so outraged and shocked when she says "mum they're smoking! It's so bad for them" really loudly Blush

Note to self, try not to make a big thing out of smoking, when they first ask, as now it has truly come back to bite me...

weblette · 23/12/2011 20:11

I would have been "Oh ok" about colds until my ds2 caught bronchiolitis aged 1 week, for a neighbour's child it was at 6 weeks.

Both spent the first few months of their lives in and out of hospital, ds still suffers the repercussions.

If you have a green snotty cold/cough stay away from tinies, you could make them seriously ill.

scaryhairydroopytits · 23/12/2011 21:32

YANBU. I agree with weblette. Ds2 caught bronchiolitis at 11 days (from ds1) and was in hospital on cpap machine and being tube fed for 7 days. Respiratory infections in tiny babies can be very serious. Ds2 is 9 months now and still wheezes all the time, ended up in hospital with his last cold too.

naturalbaby · 23/12/2011 21:37

i nearly hit the roof when my IL's kissed my brand new pfb, they didn't have a cold or anything i just didn't want their germs on his face Blush

ds3 ended up in hospital with bronchiolitis at 8weeks old, i had chilled out by then and was a bit confused when i realised how seriously the hospital were taking my baby's cough.

Sirzy · 23/12/2011 21:41

If I am ill I don't go anywhere near friends with newborns.

Ds is another who got bronchiolitis when 8 weeks old and ended on cpap. Aged 2 he is now asthmatic and friends always let me know if they are ill so plans can be rearranged as needed.

I think when someone is in a more vulnerable group then it's common curtosey to provide a "get out" for the other party when you are ill

fannybaws · 23/12/2011 22:43

Yanbu my SIL still came to visit DS5 who was born at 34 weeks when he was a week old even though she had a rip roaring chest infection.
She held him and was coughing down onto him.
I removed him as soon as I could and put him in my room in his moses basket.
She is a nurse.
I will never forgive her Angry

DrCoconut · 23/12/2011 23:11

DS2 has recently had bronchiolitis and been in hospital. He's 8 months but was still ill enough to need to be admitted. It's not on to spread illness to anyone, let alone a baby. It drives me mad when people come to work coughing and spluttering and sneezing. Go home, we don't all want your germs!

skybluepearl · 23/12/2011 23:52

I would stay away from new borns if I had any illness.

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