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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bloody disgusting coughs and my baby

39 replies

Glowbuggy · 23/12/2011 19:25

In-laws have just arrived for Christmas with THE most phlegmy rotten coughs. First thing they did was pick up their new grand child and smother him with kisses. AIBU to tell them not to touch, or go near my baby? I know I am but yuck - I don't want him catching that! How do I do this politely?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 23/12/2011 23:56

I'm normally the first to point out when someone's being precious

But YANBU, 10 weeks is very young and no-one knows what complications a cold can bring for a baby.

Come to think of it, I wouldn't kiss an adult if I had a cough like that.

saladsandwich · 24/12/2011 00:25

my mil (now ex mil) came to see ds when he was just out of hospital, she had flu, didnt tell me till she held him Xmas Angry and said, i'd have come to the hospital but i had flu

some people either have no common senseor are very selfish when it comes to illness

Original poster
Glowbuggy · 24/12/2011 07:01

I've just woken up and I'm still furious. I could hear MILs deep chesty cough all night. She is a lovely lady but I really angry that she didn't just say 'I'm really sick I better not hold the baby', no common sense whatsoever. Now I'm angry at DH fornot speaking up too. I think I'd be really upset if I said something.
I hate that I've started Christmas like this but im actually starting to get really stressed that the bub will pick this up. And really really pissed off.
Sigh - must not fall out on Christmas.
PS she also iced the Christmas cake last night and coughed all the way through the process without putting her hand over her mouth. Yum, green booga Christmas cake.

OP posts:
Original poster
Glowbuggy · 24/12/2011 07:03

Sorry - I think she would be really upset if I said something.

OP posts:
runningwilde · 24/12/2011 07:26

What does it matter if she us upset? Just bloody tell her not to hold baby or cough near baby - move away etc. Be concerned about baby not your selfish inlaws who are being inconsiderate

Teaandchristmascakeplease · 24/12/2011 07:26

You'll have to say something, otherwise you'll spend Christmas feeling like this. I do find it unbelievable that she's not covering her mouth to cough and staying away from the baby. Yuck

I have to say I've always struggled being assertive with my MIL for fear of offending her. I was recommended a great book which has helped me a lot.

Try and find a way to ensure you do not explode over Christmas by telling her not to cough on your baby though. You won't be able to keep calm in the end and it may all come out in a rush and really offend her otherwise iyswim?

cupofteaplease · 24/12/2011 08:02

A serious respiratory infection could kill my dd3 due to her condition. She has only just got out of hospital having fought off pneumonia, but she now needs continuous oxygen.

I wish people would be more aware of hygiene when they are poorly and do whatever they can to prevent the spread of infection.

In short, OP, YANBU.

marriedandwreathedinholly · 24/12/2011 08:16

Can you find out if they had colds a few weeks ago. If so, then they probably have post viral coughs which, although they sound unpleasant, aren't in the least bit infectious.

In the meantime can't you just have a quiet word and say over a cup of tea that you are a little bit worried about the coughing and the baby. On the one hand they might reassure you about when they had the colds and on the other it may give you the opportunity to say that the midwives and your health visitor have given you lots of tips about how to avoid infections in young babies. For example, having a tissue between hand and mouth when you cough and throwing the tissue away immediately afterwards and then washing your hands with the anti-bacterial soap which you have specially in the bathroom. You could lay it on a bit about how sore your hands have been since you had the baby because all you seem to do is wash your hands before touching him - hence the lovely tube of handcream next to the basin with the handwash - just to encourage them a bit more. Go on, you can get the stuff this morning.

Do bear in mind though, that your baby has to catch a few germs to build up resistance to infection and that his antibodies are likely to be thinning out at this stage and he is likely to get quite a few colds from now on. Even if he does get one in the next few days it might have nothing to do with the ILs

They do sound a bit daft though - if I were coughing I think I would be be making a fuss to make sure the baby was fine.

TeapotsInJune · 24/12/2011 13:57

Well I've had a cough for 2 months - long time to be isolated, that is!

itsbrandybutterandtinseltime · 24/12/2011 14:12

YANBU, but people look at my DS with his chesty cough and assume I'm being ignorant by taking him out. He actually has asthma and sounds quite rattly and ill; but he's not! Are they definitely poorly with coughs, not some kind of non transferrable illness?

Saying that though, I used to make people wash their hands before they touched ds Xmas Blush

madangelhairday · 24/12/2011 14:26

I have a constant full time bloody disgusting rattly cough, even when well

However I am meticulously careful round babies, even though I know my bugs aren't transferable to any but cf/bronchiectasis sufferers. It's just common courtesy and sense, surely,and bugs do get passed on so easily.

YANBU.

Haziedoll · 24/12/2011 14:27

You are not being precious he is only 10 weeks old.

WhatIsMincePi · 24/12/2011 14:33

YANBU but am slightly worried that your poor MIL seems to be quite ill and coughing at night and you're not concerned for her at all. Pneumonia kills more OAPS than babies I reckon.

recall · 24/12/2011 14:39

YANBU

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