Apologies if this turns into a long one but don't want to drip feed...
background: DH works varying shifts, I am a full time funded PhD student plus I have a part time job so we are both full time workers out of the home. We have dd who is 2, plus my DS (DH's DSS) who is 12 and DH's DD (DSD) who is 16 living with us so its a pretty full house. I would say that I do about 95-99% of the cooking....
Last week I bought a nice joint of beef and decided to either cook it as a roast at the weekend or the next evening that most of us were around. DS went to his dads on Friday and is back late Tuesday. On Saturday night DH was working and DSD went to a party (I went and picked her up later that night) and DD is around every night but in bed by 7... DH was also due to work a late shift on Sunday.
So, I decided to cook up the joint on Sunday and then do an actual roast with it on Monday evening (last night) after I had gotten back from work and DD was in bed. I chose to cook it on Sunday along with some baked potatoes (DSD and I had them on Sunday) to save time on Monday. I also cooked some extra baked potatoes for DH and DSD to have on Monday as neither were working/at college. When DH got back from work I explained to him that the joint of beef in the fridge in the foil was for Monday for a roast and asked him not to touch it but that there was baked potatoes etc (in fact the fridge was full of food!). I repeated this a couple of times as he doesn't always listen/remember what I have asked and all seemed fine...
Monday I went to work as usual, dropped DD off to nursery etc and at about lunchtime I had a text and phone call asking how long to re-heat the potatoes etc and a general chat... later I had another phone call about something or another and the odd text... I finished work, picked up DD and got home at about 5:45... then after about 5-10 mins DH announced that he had had some beef in a sandwich at about 4pm so that was his portion!
I was furious! I told him he was out of order and reminded him that I had specifically asked him to not touch the beef so that we could have a nice roast together that night (we don't eat together often) and that he had totally disrespected my wishes. I was so angry with him I went upstairs to get some space from him and yes, I actually had a small cry. After about 10 mins he came up and tried to apologise but didn't really apologise as he still didn't see that what he had done was wrong. I was so upset that he had totally disregarded what I had asked and had ruined what was going to be a nice sit down roast together that I had to leave the house to get away before I said too much. I gave dd a kiss and told DH he had to put her to bed as I was going out for a little bit. He was angry with me for the way I was reacting and he said it wasn't a big deal etc... if I had wanted to eat a roast with just me and DSD I would have done that on the Sunday but I wanted to eat with my husband!
I actually only went and sat in the car for an hour, and then came back in and ran a bath. Whilst I was in the bath DH cooked some fishfingers, chips and a fried egg. I got out of the bath and went and sat in the bedroom to read as I was still upset and DH called me on the mobile and told me to come downstairs for food and got annoyed that I was still upset... I went down and ate the food and we watched TV together but DH still maintained that he had done nothing wrong.
I went to bed before DH and strangely slept through until DD woke me at 6, then when DH woke for his shift at about 6:45 he started having a go at me, telling me I need to control my temper and to get a grip because all he had done was eat some beef. I hadn't said anything at this point, it was DH bringing it all up and in my opinion trying to make out that I was the only one in the wrong and that it was all his fault...
so.... apologies for the length again, but was IBU at being upset, or was DH BU for eating the beef?