To want 10yr old Dss in bed at 10pm?

[RaraGigglePixie]

I think 10pm is plenty late enough and as selfish as it sounds, I do like to have a hour or so "chill out, no kids" time before I go to bed.

The 1 & 2yr old are in bed between 7-8pm.

I'm up at 7am in the mornings with the kids, spend all day doing fun things with them, including Dss when he's not on the Xbox and feel I deserve a couple hours in the evening to myself!

Dp has just made me feel really mean for telling Dss that it's bedtime because "it's a holiday"

AIBU

So as not to drip feed, at his mums, Dss goes to bed at 8.30/9pm on a school night & 9/9.30pm on a weekend so he's still getting a later night here.

YANBU, 10pm is far late enough for a ten year old.

No I would want my own child free time

DSS can read or play in his room if he wants to stay up.

10 is very late IMO
My ds (10) a late night would be 9/9.30 tops. School night 8/8.30.
YANBU

I sent my 12yr old DS to bed at 10.00. To be fair he was upstairs anyway, but I think 10.00 is late enough.

10pm is waaay too late for a 10yr old, imo.

My ds is 10 next March. He is in bed by 8.

YANBU. that's late enough for a 10 yr old. My ten yr old DD is horrible if she's been up until then, and more importantly I want my own time!

Late enough? I meant too late! Wine has been taken!

I think that it is too late for a 10yr old. Let him read in bed.

my 10 year old goes to bed at 10 it's not late at all imo

My almost 10 yr old is in bed at 8 pm school nights and 9.30 weekends and that is definitely late enough.

Oh so glad I'm NBU.

He does not read, at all, so that's out.

Sometimes I think Dp forgets he's 10. Sometimes he treats him like a 16yr old and other times like a 6yr old but never seems to be able to reach that middle age appropriate ground with him.

I wasn't allowed to stay up till 10pm until I was doing GCSEs! (in the nineties - am not that old, honest!)
I think you're entitled to child-free time, and I think you can even do that "DS, you've got to go to bed now, but because it's a holiday you can read in bed until I tell you to turn out the light/9.30pm/whatever" without feeling mean.

YANBU. 10pm is plenty late enough at that age IMO. What other parents do is perfectly up to them but I'm like you, I do like at least an hour to myself for a quiet cuppa before bed. Them going to bed at 10pm is a sound compromise.

YADNBU

My 12 year old DSS goes to bed at 9pm when he's here. At his mums he can go anytime up to 2am, so we like him to catch up on his sleep here and have some consistency.

DD1 is 9.5. 10pm is plenty late enough for the holidays. We do 9-9:30 on weekends or holidays, and 8:30 week nights, and 10pm/later only very occasionally.
If your DH doesn't think it fair, I recommend you take a nice glass of wine and a good book to your bedroom and enjoy your child free time there. Leave your DH sort out the bedtime for your DSS.

YANBU at all

My 12.7yr old is in bed by 9.30pm during the holidays and 9pm on a school night.

He doesn't have to go straight to sleep if there's no school the next day, but he's in bed reading a book or even playing on his PSP until he turns the light out at 10pm.

There's nothing selfish at all about wanting to wind down on your own of an evening.

YANBU
DD2, who is not quite 11 goes up to bed between 9.30 and 10pm.
Almost 14 year old goes upstairs about the same time, but can be caught reading and listening to her iPod at well gone midnight.

Mcos, I'd love to go chill out in my bedroom with a good book and a glass of wine but when Dss is here we have the 1yr old in our room as he still wakes through the night.

It's all sorted now anyway. I told Dp that if he was going to let Dss stay up as late as he wanted, then I was going to take ALL the morning lie-in's and have my chill out time then whilst he gets up at 7am every day with the 3 of them. He agreed that actually 10pm was plenty late enough.

I can almost feel his panic

YANBU. My 10 year old DSS goes to bed normally at 9.30. He went to bed at 10 last night only because he wanted to watch Strictly.

He is young enough that he doesn't want to sleep in, so is often up at 7am (I think he thinks he might not be allowed to play on the xbox so comes down and plays before we get up).

8pm! DD1 has never been to bed before 8pm in her entire life
At 8pm until she was 8 or 9, but before never. (DD2 just follows her bad example, if she'd been my PFB she might well have done 7.30).
Total waste of time trying. It just resulted in cross, over tired grump that finally crashed at 9.30 pm. This stressed out Mum and Dad and didn't bother her one bit, she'd still be up bright and early the next day. So no use saying bed you know you'll be tired and miserable if you don't

10 is too late. why not avoid having a grumpy exhausted child?

Ds is 10 and school nights he goes to bed at 9, weekends and holidays it varies but 9.30-10 is average. He stays up later sometimes but also sleeps in so he isn't tired.

If he doesn't want to go to sleep he can be in bed reading/watching a DVD can't he?

Agree, 10pm is too late.

Our set up sounds much like Worra's.

My DS (10) goes to bed at 8pm on a school night and 9pm on a Friday/Saturday or holiday night, although a lot of the time he can't stay awake until then.