Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To want 10yr old Dss in bed at 10pm?

51 replies

RaraGigglePixie · 18/12/2011 22:11

I think 10pm is plenty late enough and as selfish as it sounds, I do like to have a hour or so "chill out, no kids" time before I go to bed.

The 1 & 2yr old are in bed between 7-8pm.

I'm up at 7am in the mornings with the kids, spend all day doing fun things with them, including Dss when he's not on the Xbox and feel I deserve a couple hours in the evening to myself!

Dp has just made me feel really mean for telling Dss that it's bedtime because "it's a holiday"

AIBU

So as not to drip feed, at his mums, Dss goes to bed at 8.30/9pm on a school night & 9/9.30pm on a weekend so he's still getting a later night here.

OP posts:

seeker · 19/12/2011 06:06

Oo is pretty late for a 10 year old. Mine is almost always asleep by then- or ifnhe isn't he's reading.

But I rally don't get this "child free time thing" What are you going to do when they are 15?

exoticfruits · 19/12/2011 09:15

I used to love the 'child free thing' so I would make the most of it before they get to 15yrs.

exoticfruits · 19/12/2011 09:18

Even now I absolutely love it if I get the house to myself in the evening with DCs and DH out! I wouldn't like it all the time, but it is utter bliss to have silence and an empty house. When they were little it was lovely to have them tucked up in bed asleep and just DH and I. I am a person who needs space and quiet for some of the day.

pingu2209 · 19/12/2011 09:46

to be frank 7-8pm is too late for a 1 and 2 year old! I would put the little ones to bed at 7pm at the latest - so bath and bed time routine starts at 6.30. I would expect a 10 year old to be in bed by 9pm on a 'holiday'.

itsstartingtofeelalotlikexmas · 19/12/2011 09:50

What do you mean he doesn't read?

SnapesMistressofMerriment · 19/12/2011 10:07

10? bloody hell I go to bed at 10 in term time (teacher). Usually half 10 or 11 in holidays. A ten yr old needs way more sleep than that.

peacemoon · 19/12/2011 10:20

My 10yo goes to bed at 10 on a school night,never has trouble getting up in the morning and does incredibly well at school so I think every child is different and you can't make sweeping statements about this type of thing.My 14 yo goes to bed at 11 and my 6 and 4yo are in bed for 8.They are all fine in the morning and do well at school.
Suppose it also depends on how early they have to get up too.

Original poster

RaraGigglePixie · 19/12/2011 10:55

Pingu. I have to do 7 & 8 for the younger one's. Dp usually works away Monday to Friday (although made redundant a couple weeks ago) and to get the boys to bed on my own it worked out easier to get them both bathed and changed, then get the younger one to sleep by 7pm whilst older one say downstairs, had his milk and watched Peppa Pig then when baby was in bed I then got a hour one-on-one time with the younger one who is in bed by 7.30 but I read to him for 15/20mins and he's asleep by 8pm.

The 10yr old just doesn't read. His dad used to read to him every night when he lived with ex wife and Dss but when she left, with Dss, she never read to him or encouraged him to read. I try by buying him books that I think he'll enjoy (diary of a whimpy kid is it? And things like that) but he just chucks the books in his room never to be seen again. I get him off the Xbox by making cakes and teaching him how to make lasagne/spag Bol etc as he enjoys that.

When Dss is 15, I'm hoping he'll be doing his own thing in the evenings and of he's not then I should have the younger one out of our room so I can chill out up there.

OP posts:

Fuzzywuzzywozabear · 19/12/2011 10:56

My 14 y/o goes at 10pm! far too late for a 10 y/o IMO. 10 y/o goes at 8.30 and 9pm in holidays/weekends

dementedma · 19/12/2011 11:11

same here. Our DS is nearly 10 and goes to bed at 9pm.

ZZZenAgain · 19/12/2011 11:15

what time does your dp think his son should be going to bed or how does he want it handled?

Theas18 · 19/12/2011 11:34

Absolutely! My 12yr old isn't nice to live with if she's not asleep by 10 holidays or not (she hasn't get learned how to lie in in the mornings though!). Even the 15 and 18yr old will be doing stuff in their rooms by 10 usually.

"he doesn't read at all" is the saddest thing I've read though about this boy.

He's only 10, what about his Dad spending half and hour at bed time reading to/with him every night. 10 is not too old to be read too and some real bonding and a love of books could be really grabbing him in that time.

BarbarianMum · 19/12/2011 11:37

YANBU - 10pm is plenty late enough. Maybe your dh could go up and read to him, or chat, some nice 1:1 time for them.

BarbarianMum · 19/12/2011 11:38

sorry Theas - I type really slowly, it seems.

DottyDot · 19/12/2011 11:39

my 10 year old goes to bed between 7.30pm - 8pm and is always asleep by around 8.30pm. On the odd occasion he's stayed up later, it's a nightmare - he's really tired the next day, grumpy and stroppy... Even he sees this and doesn't like staying up too late.

10pm is too late -they're still children at 10 years old, even if they don't think they are!

TheFallenMadonna · 19/12/2011 11:40

My DS is 10 and he loves being read to.

TrinityRhino · 19/12/2011 11:41

my 11 year old dd1 has an 8pm bedtime on a school night
she may read for 10 mins but thats it

on a weekend she can stay up till about 9 ish but sometimes she is told to go up into her room after 8

sometimes I just need a break, she has never stopped talking since she learnt to

TrinityRhino · 19/12/2011 11:42

dd1 loves being read to too

Goolash · 19/12/2011 11:54

My 10 year old can happily stay awake until 10, or later, then up in the mornings. In the holidays I do let him stay up if there's something on that he wants to watch. Usually it's bed at 9.30 during the then he can read. Seeing as 9 to 9.30 is the norm at his Mums house I think it's reasonable to stick to that. Maybe as a special treat if you're all in the middle of something like watching a movie. Must admit mine was up to just after 10 last night because he was watching that James Herriot program, then we started playing the Professor Cox one we'd recorded. Most nights I like him out the way before that, it's nice to have them out of sight and out of mind

Original poster

RaraGigglePixie · 19/12/2011 11:58

Oh please don't think Dss doesn't get any one on one time. Like I said, him and me spend time together cooking and Dss chooses something to do with his dad whilst he is here. Things like going to the cinema, or go-karting or even jut going out for dinner together. Dp did try to start reading to him when he got access sorted again but Dss just wasn't interested.

Of anyone has any other idea's about encouraging him to read or be read to that'll be great but in the meantime, glad to know I'm mostly not being unreasonable about 10pm bedtime.

Oh, even his grandparents try with the reading by buying him an annual at Xmas/birthday's, something like Simpsons or top gear but dss's reply to that this year was " there's no point grandmaI don't read them"

OP posts:

DottyDot · 19/12/2011 12:22

ds1 also doesn't like reading - he can read well but just doesn't enjoy it. The only thing he reads regularly and with any enthusiasm is his weekly Match magazine, which we got on subscription for his birthday last year. So maybe a magazine, which at least is reading and gives me hope that one day he'll upgrade to books...

girlywhirly · 19/12/2011 13:32

The main thing is to let him read things that he is really interested in. Comics and magazines are a good start. He can read the recipe and directions in cook books when cooking with you. It can be difficult to instil a love of reading for pleasure in an older child, especially when they can watch films of major hits like Harry Potter so why would they bother to read the books? Could he be encouraged to read the younger DC stories from their books, a grown up thing to do as the eldest?

Does DSS have difficulty reading, or is he just not interested in doing so? Has he ever been tested for dyslexia which might be causing problems?

exoticfruits · 19/12/2011 18:01

I found that mine were not keen on reading but they would read in bed-a good reason for not having TVs in the room-it was really books or nothing.

TroublesomeEx · 20/12/2011 16:06

pixie and DottyDot My DS started to read these when he was 10.

He loves reading anyway, but he absolutely loved these. The first book starts with a Matt who has been brought up by his rather unpleasant aunt. He gets involved in breaking into a warehouse with another lad. Matt is scared and panics when the other lad stabs (?) the security guard and ends up being arrested. He is put on a scheme and is placed in an odd little village in Yorkshire, where strange things happen. At one point, desperate to escape, he takes a bicycle and cycles for miles to escape from the village only to find himself back in the village where he started from... gripping stuff!

I read it too and would imagine it could engage even the most reluctant reader.

Or this one that has great reviews and a website that you can join...

DS loves reading. I would be happy to pass on any of his recommendations if you're interested!

maypole1 · 20/12/2011 16:13

Yabu 10pm os far to late dss should be in bed way before then I have an 11 year old who gose to bed at 7 tried ti make it later when he started high school after the first week he cried and begged me to put it back to 7

I am not suggesting 7 but 10 is far to late

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread