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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell all the screaming shouting parents in all the shopping centres today.....to

90 replies

festi · 17/12/2011 16:16

just stay at home if you cant deal with shopping with the kids.

honestly I witnessed so many parents yanking small children around by hoods...and screaming and shouting at them swearing, smaking and telling thier children to shut up!!!

It was quite sad really, Im no model parent or judgy pants, but really if it is so stressfull then people should stay at home.

I also understand many have no choice but to take children with them Im in the same boat, had to take dd shopping with me today. But just think it is a task everyone has to endure so lets make it as pain free as possible for everyone, the children included.

OP posts:
detoxdiva · 17/12/2011 16:24

2 words

On-line Shopping

Xmas Grin
MabelLucyAttwell · 17/12/2011 16:26

Or shop before the school holidays and certainly a lot earlier than this.

PattySimcox · 17/12/2011 16:29

YY online shopping or before school breaks up. If you really have to take DCs with you then do it in November when it is quieter, get there as soon as shops open on a Sunday and get out within the hour. Much less painful for all concerned

stuffthenonsense · 17/12/2011 16:37

poor children, they should be snug and warm at home making paper chains

GoingForGoalWeight · 17/12/2011 17:02

swearing, at children - nice - i hate to hear that too :(

AFuckingFestiveKnackeredWoman · 17/12/2011 17:07

What if you have no comp to online shop? or any child care to look after the kids while you shop?

Also they might not have been paid before today so couldn't go sooner..

JjandtheBean · 17/12/2011 17:07

Not everyone can afford to shop early some of us have to finish bits off with kids in tow.

I got commented on by a judgy pants yesterday, me and dd stood in a card shop getting a card for dp and some last minute sweets etc to finish presents. Poor wee mite terrible mother yadayadayada, out in the cold, she's bloody 3 thank you very much and asked to walk so she could splash in puddles!!! We live in a very small quiet town so no where was busy, I quite enjoyed pottering about with her.

MrsCampbellBlack · 17/12/2011 17:09

YANBU

Shopping on a saturday this close to christmas with small children in tow is my idea of hell.

I know for some people there's no choice but for some people they do think its a fun day out and it really really isn't for small children. I always think they must feel so claustrophic when they're small and its so busy.

Groovee · 17/12/2011 17:11

It's my birthday but dd decided to have one of her kevin the teenager strops that we ended our day out and at the bus stop I had a few choice words with her because she did exactly the same last week on her dad's birthday. The old woman behind us told me I was being unkind as I told dd, I would strop on her birthday and not do anything nice. At 11 she could shut up for a couple of hours. I can't help when my birthday is but I also don't see why dd shouldn't be told of for her actions and behaviour.

YonderRevoltingPeasantWhoIsHe · 17/12/2011 17:13

I finished off Xmas shopping this morning and actually really did not find it too bad. Was in M&S by 9am and Sainsbury's by 11.30 and it was all pretty chilled and a nice atmosphere, albeit busy. Maybe that's just laid-back Devon, though :)

YouOldSlag · 17/12/2011 17:14

YABU. Most parents only take their kids shopping the weekend before Christmas if they have no other options. Perhaps they work all week. Perhaps they have only just got paid. Perhaps their DC was behaving angelically when they left the house and they thought it would be OK. perhaps they have to raise their voice because their kids won't listen and keep trying to run off. Perhaps when they see judgy people looking at them they want the ground to swallow them up.

I've been that stressed Mum (I don't swear or threaten though) and believe me, it's so easy to judge until you find yourself in those very shoes and wish to God you were elsewhere. Cut the poor parents some slack. They're not exactly enjoying it either.

Mollydoggerson · 17/12/2011 17:17

If only the perfect people shopped on the weekend before xmas, no one would et any presents.

MaryPoppinsMagic · 17/12/2011 17:49

I don't swear or tell dd to shut up but I did tell her off in tescos earlier, she kept holding her hands out to the sides from the trolley I kept telling her to stop it as she was going to get hurt as it was so busy. She then held them out again but managed to knock a whole display of biscuits down.. Yes I did shout at her as I was fed up of telling her plus I was very embarrassed!

MaryPoppinsMagic · 17/12/2011 17:49

I don't swear or tell dd to shut up but I did tell her off in tescos earlier, she kept holding her hands out to the sides from the trolley I kept telling her to stop it as she was going to get hurt as it was so busy. She then held them out again but managed to knock a whole display of biscuits down.. Yes I did shout at her as I was fed up of telling her plus I was very embarrassed!

pictish · 17/12/2011 17:56

Yabu. You know nothing about it.

nativitywreck · 17/12/2011 18:03

I can't do my shop until the 23rd, because I have no money til then. It wont be a massive lot, but It's really hard to get anyone to babysit at this time of year(meaning family) and I will have no choice but to drag ds into town, which I am dreading.
Last time I had to take him shopping I ended up shouting at him in TK Maxx. It was awful.
Going to see if I can do the food shop online, but am doubtful I will get a delivery slot that near to Xmas.
It would be lovely to have done it when school was still in session, but I didn't have the choice.

Original poster
festi · 17/12/2011 18:09

its not the taking children shopping I have a problem with, I do have to take dd my self, its the pulling children around by the hood, swearing and telling them to shut up I find out of line, no excuss for that no matter how stressed you are. I knew today would not be wonderfull in the shops and I need to go out again on tuesday, but I have accomodated for the fact it may get stressfull and just indent to take it in our stride, I certainly wouldnt be dragging her about by her hood if she steps out of line.

OP posts:
Ilovepigs · 17/12/2011 18:30

You are a judgey arse.

Ilovepigs · 17/12/2011 18:33

Well bully for youHmm You say dd-only the one then?. Again Hmm I have no choice but to take dcs to shops as I have 3 and no childcare. Yes you should try and not lose your temper but sometimes they drive you too it.

Personally I dont hold myselfg up as some paragon of parenting and if I lose my temper-well tough shit really

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 17/12/2011 18:34

have a Xmas Biscuit

zookeeper · 17/12/2011 18:34

Perhaps as a lone parent i should leave mine at home alone ? Xmas Hmm

Molehillmountain · 17/12/2011 18:43

I have been that stressed. It's not nice but the point is I reached it through lack of sleep, money worries, feeling I was a rubbish patent, dh working all hours, having several miscarriages and fertility treatment, and all of it getting in top of me and affecting my ability to cope. Now things are easier, it doesn't happen. No one plans to be that stressed, but it isn't always easy to get yourself into a place where you make the best patenting choices. When I felt like that, what made it worse was feeling judged as well. So op, that hasn't helped just perhaps made some people feel judged and stressed.

Ilovepigs · 17/12/2011 18:45

Well said mole-far more eloquent than my postGrin

StupidLikeButton · 17/12/2011 18:50

Instead of judging them have a thought for those people who are worried about money, bills and other things and who can't cope as well as others. It's not nice to see but better than sitting on your high horse is to simply tend your own garden....I am sure they did no tPLAN on going out and being mean to the kids.

StupidLikeButton · 17/12/2011 18:53

And a big fat Biscuit to those people suggesting they shop online or earlier...people on low incomes often don't have the money...they wait unitl they get their last payment before Christmas and then spend that...

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