to tell all the screaming shouting parents in all the shopping centres today.....to

[festi]

just stay at home if you cant deal with shopping with the kids.

honestly I witnessed so many parents yanking small children around by hoods...and screaming and shouting at them swearing, smaking and telling thier children to shut up!!!

It was quite sad really, Im no model parent or judgy pants, but really if it is so stressfull then people should stay at home.

I also understand many have no choice but to take children with them Im in the same boat, had to take dd shopping with me today. But just think it is a task everyone has to endure so lets make it as pain free as possible for everyone, the children included.

And in fact if any of you feel the need to alter your parenting in public then I suspect you are doing something in private that you shouldnt be.

Every superficially pleasant family might have a deep dark secret. But in general, people without inhibition in public aren't coping well, I can't see them turning into model parents when they get home, same as people arguing the street or getting aggressive. Most people, even when pushed to the limit, don't do more than shout a bit, Festi is clearly saying that she saw worse than this.

What I find strange on MN is that if I had posted 'I saw a mum get down and swear in her child's face 'shut up, f*ing come here', then smack him, I didn't say anything, should I have done?' everyone would pile in saying you should have intervened. I think we all know that uncomfortable feeling when we see parents going too far with children, it doesn't occur for me when I see a mum looking after a child having a tantrum, it doesn't occur to me when I see a dad telling off a child for running off, it does occur for me when people seem aggressive, hostile and nasty to their own children and see no reason to inhibit that in public.

I have a cousin who swears at her kids, but she isn't really shouty. She just thinks that swear words are 'just words'

Her kids don't swear either.

I work with families. Families under a great deal of pressure.
I dont agree hardgoing

Some of them are rough as a robber's dog and swear and shout. The care for their children impeccably. Children who need 24 hour care.
Some of them would rather die than swear or shout yet they are on the edge of total breakdown.

I think the OP has a big dose of snobbery and stealth boasting.

She is not putting every shout or tug she saw and putting them all together inot one big chavvy parenting sterotype so we can all gawp and tut and feel sad for the poor children.
Children whose lives we know nothing about.

Im not sure I understand your post OhDo

I think I must be reading a different thread to a lot of you as I can't see anywhere where festi has boasted (stealth or otherwise) and nowhere has the OP used the "chav" word.

I can only see that the OP is saddened by "parents yanking small children around by hoods...and screaming and shouting at them swearing, smaking and telling thier children to shut up"

A lot of people have said they find themselves getting stressed and raising their voices and a few have mentioned grabbing their child to restrain them from danger - the OP doesn't appear to be talking about that, but a much more agressive and unpleasant type of behaviour - festi forgive me if I am putting words into your mouth

I am not suprised tbh

exactly as you have said patty so no not putting words into my mouth

I've just re-read the thread and can't believe the nasty comments directed at the OP, calling her "stupid" and a "judgy arse" and accusing her of "snobbery" because she doesn't like people verbally and physically abusing their DCs.

Festi has not said "Don't take your DCs shopping"

If someone posted in Relationships saying their DP had yanked them by the hood, screaming, shouting, swearing and smacking them then there would be lots of posts saying "Get out", "Ring Women's Aid"

YANBU - I can't believe that so many people seem to think that stress or anything else justify smacking or swearing at children or yanking them around! The way I understand the OP, they are not saying that children shouldn't be in shops before Xmas, just that if they are overexcited and overtired then parents should show a bit more christmas spirit and compassion and put up with them rather than let their own stress out on them.

anothermadamebutterfly I was beginning to think that I was a lone voice in the wilderness as everyone else seemed to be reading all sorts of stuff into this thread that just wasn't there.

FWIW I'm braving town this afternoon with DD and her precocious friend and an autistic DS. I don't actually need anything but they want to buy presents for their friends.

hope it went well patty I dont envy you. I have been out all day shopping with dd, the only saving grace, believe it or not there was an hours queue to see santa, but he was so authentic it was worth it and there were even raindeer. Gave us a chance to slow down and refule with some lemonade and dd was chatting and playing with some very charing kids in the queue behind us.

Im glad for the last posts of supposrt on this thread I was begining to wonder if I had actually posted an alternative post I was unaware of where I was calling everyone one out shopping woith thier children, violent, vile and discusting chvvs for having the audacity to be out in public . Am so glad I hadnt.

The DCs had friends round so I chickened out persuaded them that it would be better to go another time

However when I was trying to get on to the sainsburys site to amend my delivery for tomorrow I was mildly panicking when I couldn't sign on that I might end up having to venture into the supermarket the week before christmas

dont blame you I hope you get to ammend your order. I missed a few bits out my asda order too, but popped to lidle on way home today and added a few irish liqure bottles £3.99 so got 3. and a couple of extra wines so was well worth it. .