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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hold on to my council house?

237 replies

Memoo · 17/12/2011 11:56

10 years ago I fled a very abusive marriage. DD was 2yo and ds was 3 months old. I lost my home, my savings and all dc's clothes and toys. Basically dc and I were left with nothing.

After being homeless for 3 months I was given a council house and I slowly built up a good life for the dc and I. I went to college and got a job. I supported myself and my children and I was really proud of that. Not being dependant on anyone was the best feeling I've ever had.

6 years ago I met my now 2nd DH. He moved into my house and although things have been tough at times we have got through it. I've also had another baby and dd is now 2.

The problem is we live in a really crap area. Crap schools, anti-social behaviour, drug dealer a few doors down, you get the picture.

DH is adement that we should give up this house and try and rent privately in a better area. I hate the idea of this. The way things are at the moment I know whatever happens with dh and I, this is my house and no man can take that from me. It gives me a sense of security knowing the dc and I have a home for life. If we rented privately I would once again become dependent on somebody else and the thought of that scares the crap out of me.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 17/12/2011 13:32

CJ ... Lovey, NI she doesn't own the house ( neither does the taxpayer) but she DOES own the tenancy and it can take op anywhere, to any council/housing association she can get an exchange to!

So if she fancies Devon or Surrey or Manchester, wherever, she can set up a mutual exchange and move

GypsyMoth · 17/12/2011 13:33

You can move from council to housing association easily

MistyMountainHop · 17/12/2011 13:41

yes try homeswapper OP if you would like to move, my friend just had a successful exchange on there to a bigger, nicer property the jammy cow :o

RaraGigglePixie · 17/12/2011 13:41

I'm happy to support subsidised rent too!

Is there anyway you can get yourself registered on HomeSwapper? You can put down the area's you're looking for and hold out for a while. Eventually you might be able to get yourself to a nicer area but the house will still be yours so you'll still have that security.

My friend waited 18 months for an exchange but she got the exact area she wanted so it was worth it.

GypsyMoth · 17/12/2011 13:42

I use 'underoneroof'

WorraLiberty · 17/12/2011 13:44

Is there no law that says once you're married to someone and have a child with them, you're automatically on the tenancy?

I have no clue about council housing but it does sound a bit unfair in general.

I know if I married someone, had their child and lived with them for 6yrs, I'd want some security for myself as well as them.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 17/12/2011 13:59

Memoo - do not feel at all guilty at retaining a council house when you are working. It is the security you need for you & your kids. Anyone can be made redundant at anytime - the council will never see you out of a home, a private landlord will (if you can't pay). Ignore any posts saying 'it's not fair of you to hang onto it' - there are people out there in a much much more secure position than you who are still living in council housing and it is unfair of them to deny a family the security a council home gives them - but you are not in that situation. You do not have a lot of money behind you etc.

Hang onto it, in your name, like the life raft it is.

GypsyMoth · 17/12/2011 14:06

No. Worra. It's a legal document

usualsuspect · 17/12/2011 14:14

Hang on to that house ,do not give up a secure tenancy

Ignore the bloody idiots banging on about taxpayers

creighton · 17/12/2011 14:23

keep your council house. we don't know if the economic situation will get worse or better, so your house will give you and your family stability.

if there are problems with the drug dealer or other antisocial types, get the council and police to deal with them. people who cause problems should move, not you. if the schools in your area are not up to scratch, try to send your children to school outside the area or try to supplement their learning yourself.

council housing was originally built for working people. the fact that lots of it has been sold off is not your problem and it is a shame that there are lots of people on waiting lists but you need to protect your family, no one else is going to protect them. besides, social housing policy now leans, again, towards having working families on estates so that they 'set a good example' to the non workers.

Original poster
Memoo · 17/12/2011 14:26

Thanks all.

Just to clarify I don't work now but Dh does. I stopped working when I had dd 2 years ago and haven't gone back because of mental health issues. I do intend on going back to work when dd starts school in a couple of years. Dh works full time and supports us all.

I will have a look on the home swap site, it's a really good idea.

OP posts:
ThePathanKhansWitch · 17/12/2011 14:28

Do not give up your house, no way. Even if it is in a shitty area, 'it's your shitty area'.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 17/12/2011 15:04

Memoo - so, are you saying you wont do what DH wants and go private?

blackeyedsanta · 17/12/2011 15:16

if there is any doubt about your relationship at all, hang on to everysingle bit of security you have for you and your children.

creighton · 17/12/2011 15:35

i don't know how much rents are in your part of the country, but here in London a council house rent is probably 550-600 a month for 3 beds. a privately rented 3 bed house rent will start at 800 a month in an unpopular area. so if you were to move somewhere nice it would cost at least 1000 a month. you need to think about that as financial difficulties will put a real strain on a relationship.

mrsjay · 17/12/2011 15:43

can you request a swap/trasnfer of council house to a better area , I think private rent is expensive and not as secure as council housing , however if your area is really crap then perhaps a move is a good idea , another however is you have lived there for years and your kids are fine , its a hard decision to make and i hope you make a choice thats good for you and your familiy ,

mrsjay · 17/12/2011 15:45

erm how does the tax payer subsidse her house cjbk1 out of interest,

yellowraincoat · 17/12/2011 15:47

I feel like we're not getting all the information to judge this.

Original poster
Memoo · 17/12/2011 16:31

Chippingin, I'm going to stay put. This may be the final straw but if that's the case so be it. I'll definately keep an eye on the home swap site though in case anything comes up.

OP posts:
Original poster
Memoo · 17/12/2011 16:32

Yellow, how do you mean?

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 17/12/2011 16:38

Memoo.... You can post a request yourself. More people lurk than post, so you could be missing opportunity!

Original poster
Memoo · 17/12/2011 16:39

You're right Grin don't know why that didn't occur to me.

OP posts:
StarbuckIzzy · 17/12/2011 16:50

Homeswapper is a great site, I hve my details on it as although my house is in a nice area we would like an extra bedroom
in a different area.

Do you have a house meemoo? I've been on that site for a while as people are willing to exchange if they get something good in return. For example if you are willing to downsize, you have a house and are willing to move into a flat etc.

It's not a magic solution, if you want the same size property in a nicer area you need to find someone who wants to move to the area you are in (difficult if it's undesirable) and doesn't mind having shit neighbours and schools! You MUST tell them about any problems you've had with neighbours too.

Also- you can't move into a house deemed too large or small for your needs or if you are in arrears with your rent.

Worth a go though, we've been on it for 6 mths.

ReduceRecycleRegift · 17/12/2011 16:52

YANBU, if he was suggesting buying that would be different! but renting privately (if your land lord luck is anything like mine) you could be forced to move every 6 month!

JinglePosyPerkin · 17/12/2011 17:03

YANBU in your circumstances. If you have financial difficulties in Council housing then paying private rent surely can't help. Also, the lack of security you would have with a private rental would be bad for any MH problems you have.

Homeswapper is a great idea too Grin.