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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hold on to my council house?

237 replies

Memoo · 17/12/2011 11:56

10 years ago I fled a very abusive marriage. DD was 2yo and ds was 3 months old. I lost my home, my savings and all dc's clothes and toys. Basically dc and I were left with nothing.

After being homeless for 3 months I was given a council house and I slowly built up a good life for the dc and I. I went to college and got a job. I supported myself and my children and I was really proud of that. Not being dependant on anyone was the best feeling I've ever had.

6 years ago I met my now 2nd DH. He moved into my house and although things have been tough at times we have got through it. I've also had another baby and dd is now 2.

The problem is we live in a really crap area. Crap schools, anti-social behaviour, drug dealer a few doors down, you get the picture.

DH is adement that we should give up this house and try and rent privately in a better area. I hate the idea of this. The way things are at the moment I know whatever happens with dh and I, this is my house and no man can take that from me. It gives me a sense of security knowing the dc and I have a home for life. If we rented privately I would once again become dependent on somebody else and the thought of that scares the crap out of me.

OP posts:
NinkyNonker · 18/12/2011 16:30

No, they really were. We had huge social problems, inc a full time social worker on site as well as a community police officer. I could regale you with some very sad tales of the cases I personally was involved in, but obviously that isn't on. I made no assumptions, at what point on this thread have I ever been anything but supportive?

"There you go again"...pray tell...where on this thread did I "go" for the first time?!

GypsyMoth · 18/12/2011 16:33

Firstly you assumed they were free, and now that they are rented to 'hardship' cases

And why link welfare state with social housing?

NinkyNonker · 18/12/2011 16:35

Because I always assumed they were linked, and was in support of that, until I joined MN. What is wrong with admitting you didn't understand something you have never experienced, especially when still supporting the system anyway?

mrsjay · 18/12/2011 16:37

i came from a council house as did my mum and i lived in 1 with myown familiy for years . we dont have any social hardships we have all worked well i dont but hubby does , we just dont have the means to get a huge mortgage doesnt mean its a hardship , although there is thousands of families in social housing who are in situations that they need support and help but there is also families who live pay their rent council tax , just so happens they rent from LA/HA ,

GypsyMoth · 18/12/2011 16:38

They are not linked.....at all, in any way

Kellogg · 18/12/2011 16:38

I find it shocking that you never been friends with someone from a council house, just shows that even though we think we live in an equal society, we are actually living amongst and accepting segregation.

That is not a criticism of anyone just a sad observation of British life.

LapsedPacifist · 18/12/2011 16:42

A couple of years ago I worked for a small family-run engineering company in North London. Most of the factory employees were on minimum wage. One of them (aged 64) who had worked there for 40 years used to take home £186 for working a 40 hour week. For many years he used to get a lift to work with a colleague, but when they left, he had to leave the house at 6.30am and catch 2 buses and a train across London to get to work for 8.00am. The fares cost him about £30 per week.

The finance director of the company (who was responsible for setting salaries) could not understand why this should be a problem. "After all, he has a council flat so he deson't have to pay rent". I pointed out that council flats in his part of London cost at least £100 per week, with council tax and bills on top. He was actually worse off working than being unemployed

She refused to believe that council houses aren't free, until I found a copy of the local paper and showed her the page where council tenants could "bid" for available properties, which listed the rents payable. She had honestly believed it was perfectly OK to pay her employees £5.93 per hour (in London!) because they all they lived rent free in council houses.

Don't EVER underestimate how utterly ignorant and ill-informed some so-called well-educated people in positions of responsibility can be. This woman was a pillar of her local community (church stalwart etc), but her stupidity had a dreadful impact on real people's lives.

And yes, she believed EVERYTHING she read in the Daily Mail.

mrsjay · 18/12/2011 16:43

kellogg it is segregation isnt it , although i live in scotland and there doesnt seem to be as much stigma attached to council housing , although we do get r(rough areas) like everywhere else ,

LadyBeagleBaublesAndBells · 18/12/2011 16:44

Don't think it's fair to be getting on at Ninky though.
She's admitted her lack of knowledge, now she knows.

manicinsomniac · 18/12/2011 16:45

It was me who assumed they were free, not NinkyNonker - she's picking up the flack for defending me (sorry NN!) but actually found out years ago that they aren't free.

I don't know why I assumed they were free. I have known and know many people who live in them but have never asked them about how much they pay for their housing!!! I'm not sure how that could ever just come up in conversation.

What I'm wondering now - and it's probably equally "dense", I'm sorry - is why do we we even have council housing if people pay the rent for it like everybody else does in their rented accomodation. Buying houses now sees to be out of reach for most people in my age bracket (late 20s). We all rent. So we are actually no different in circumstances to those in council housing. So what's the point of segregating society by housing council rents and pricate rents as we all pay anyway?

NinkyNonker · 18/12/2011 16:48

Ok, I give up.

My life potted: Affluent area growing up, private school 45 mins from home, too much bloody school work to socialise locally after school. Only out of school activity was the sailing club on our doorstep, because parents sailed, so little choice. Left school, worked at sailing school, left there to Uni. Graduated, started work at large accountancy firm, various jobs. Retrained as teacher, married etc.

Now, I know in many respects I led a sheltered life. But throughout that I was always brought up to support whole heartedly the various 'schemes' (seems I will be shot however I phrase this) in the country, despite having no understanding of the mechanics of it, nor necessarily knowing anyone who used them.

As an adult, it isn't a conversation that comes up, where someone lives, unless you go to their houses etc. I have only a few close friends, none of whom live in council houses, many of whom now work abroad.

So, potted history over. The potted history of an apparently ignorant, prejudiced individual. (Who throughout this thread has expressed nothing but support through the OP, but don't let that get in the way hey.)

OpinionatedMum · 18/12/2011 16:50

I wasn't saying any poster was prejuduced, I just think having no clue about sections of society other than your own opens the door to it.

I am not attacking anyone for not knowing-it's the way our society is structured. It is sad though.

There was an "AIBU to let my daughter go on a sleepover on a council estate" on here a while back. She thought she was putting her daughter into mortal danger or at best exposing her to a family like the one on shameless!!

himynameisfred · 18/12/2011 16:51

OP I love how protective you are of yours and your childrens' security.
You've provided a stable home for them all this time, and that's your acheivement.
Any relationship can break down, even if it seem perfect for a few years, and if/when it does, the other person may not act and be as reasonable as you assume.
I think you're doing the right thing to stay in complete control of your housing situation.
Your kids need you to be x

Kellogg · 18/12/2011 16:52

Council housing is much cheaper than private renting.

I have a friend who was renting a council house with one bedroom fewer than us, we compared rents and I was paying double her rate.

There is also a chance of a secure tenancy. Although to be honest I have never had to worry about being asked to leave I know for others it is a concern.

LadyBeagleBaublesAndBells · 18/12/2011 16:53

There are Council House Lists. Anyone can put their names down and it comes down to how many points you have.
Sadly a huge amount of council housing was lost to Thatcher's right to buy policy, when people believed we all have the 'right' to buy our own homes.
They didn't build any more to replace them, which is why their are so many people struggling with private landlords, who 20 years ago would have got a secure tenancy.
Blame the government, not those who managed to get a council house.

Kellogg · 18/12/2011 16:54

Ninky I don't think anyone was criticising you, rather they were commenting on how socially divided this country is.

Feminine · 18/12/2011 16:55

ninky its OK :)

You didn't say anything wrong...it is totally alright not to know about something surely? [confused}

Anyway, I know plenty of people IRL who don't understand anything (about council homes etc) ...its not a given that people do.

Its just here that folk think its fine to berate someone in the dark.

NinkyNonker · 18/12/2011 17:06

In my defence, I think I always linked the welfare state with council housing because you hear talk of points and waiting lists and certain requirements being given priority...which kind of linked them in my mind. That and that they are both administrated by the govt or local council.

JuliaScurr · 18/12/2011 17:09

Hang onto the house! The insecurity and rack rents in private sector are dreadful. Council housing is like the NHS - a valuable social facility and should be unviersally available, notm stigmatised by means testing

GypsyMoth · 18/12/2011 17:27

Housing associations are completely separate to local authority....

And also, the right to buy does still exist

GypsyMoth · 18/12/2011 17:28

They aren't means tested either

OpinionatedMum · 18/12/2011 17:31

It won't be long before they are means tested and tenants turfed out accordingly if that bastard Cameron gets his way.

NinkyNonker · 18/12/2011 17:34

Even I knew they weren't means tested. Grin

squeakytoy · 18/12/2011 17:40

Housing associations are not completely separate to local authority at all!

They work together.

mrsjay · 18/12/2011 17:44

what sqeakytoy said in regards to HA/la . HA were set up to take the brunt from councils as they couldnt upkeep council housing ,