To hold on to my council house?

[Memoo]

10 years ago I fled a very abusive marriage. DD was 2yo and ds was 3 months old. I lost my home, my savings and all dc's clothes and toys. Basically dc and I were left with nothing.

After being homeless for 3 months I was given a council house and I slowly built up a good life for the dc and I. I went to college and got a job. I supported myself and my children and I was really proud of that. Not being dependant on anyone was the best feeling I've ever had.

6 years ago I met my now 2nd DH. He moved into my house and although things have been tough at times we have got through it. I've also had another baby and dd is now 2.

The problem is we live in a really crap area. Crap schools, anti-social behaviour, drug dealer a few doors down, you get the picture.

DH is adement that we should give up this house and try and rent privately in a better area. I hate the idea of this. The way things are at the moment I know whatever happens with dh and I, this is my house and no man can take that from me. It gives me a sense of security knowing the dc and I have a home for life. If we rented privately I would once again become dependent on somebody else and the thought of that scares the crap out of me.

cjbk1 - that is uncalled for. How do you know they are being subsidised and, if they are, it's none of your business!

local authority tenants pay tax too !!! < hold the fucking front pages..>

Cj, how is that comment in any way relevant to the discussion?

For tbe record. We do pay full rent, council tax etc.

Us too! Our private rental landlord refused to fix the collapsed ceiling and evicted me for complaining.
I wouldn't go private again tbh it worries me.

Another FO to cjbk1.

parenting is more important than area, I grew up in a similar estate (multiple dealers on our block) but we've all grown up well and I have a science PhD.

my mum was even a teenage mother and had 3 by the time she was 18

i knew someone like cj would come on this thread

i'm a taxpayer and so is DH and we live in a housing association house. so pay full rent and council tax, as do many, many people in social housing

and i am another one who doesn't mind my taxes going some way to "subsidise" those in need

"It's not your house we the taxpayers subsidise it for you!"

What a nice person you must be cjbk1! Well guess what - council house tenants are tax payers too.

cjbk1 Go jump in a lake.

OP can you not get an exchange to another area?

You may not like where you live, but someone else might.

merry christmas to you too CJ

Yes, an exchange might be better (but still don't put his name on)

If you are happy with the area though, and he isn't then I would really think "tough shit, mate" tbh

let him move, and stand on his own two feet, eh ?

worra is right, get yourselves on to HomeSwapper. You register, and then you can have a look. They check your details against your HA ( to make sure you live there) and if your HA confirms this you get to be a member of the site.
Noone contacts you form your HA, don't worry.

Absolutely loads of properties on there. Makes me imagine all the different 'lives' i could be living.

oh cj do sod off.

I lean to the right with my politics, and IMO someone in Memoo's situation is exactly who should be getting a council house and the security that goes with it.

Memoo I saw a thread of yours last week or about issues with your DH. I can't remember the details but if you think your marriage may fail then don't put yourself in a position where it becomes hard for you to leave.
And don't put his name on your house either, you and your kids come first.

Op, I completely appreciate why you want to hold onto that security. And forgive me if I speak out of turn, because I don't know the deeper info that other posters do...so I'm only going off your post.

You say you have a good job now, and pay full rent. You have children, which always puts a massively different slant on things. But - when DH and I have children, we will be a single income family renting privately. We have to deal with the insecurity of private renting. Every other family that rents privately has to deal with that. Believe me I understand that lack of security...I've been homeless before because my landlord didn't pay his mortgage even though we paid our rent each month. We had a week to leave because the bank repossessed it and we were kicked out. We kipped in someone's garden shed for four months over the summer before we could find a new place.

I guess I'm just playing devil's advocate...theoretically, everyone else has to deal with that level of insecurity. It's not about being deserving, or taxpayers or any of that crap. Yeah - if it was me, I'd hang onto it for dear life too so I don't think YABU.

I don't mean to get at you, I really don't. It's hard to say but more widely, it doesn't seem fair why now you're back on your feet, you get to keep that security and there's x numbers of families who don't have that kind of security who are probably in a similar financial position. When we have children, my anxiety about living security will increase tenfold - it's already pretty bad from my renting experiences.

Of course the real answer is radical reform in our private renting culture, and that's not your fault in any way. Like I said, if I was in your position, I'd hold onto it too. But equally, it's hard to hear when so many other families do struggle with the insecurity of private renting.

Drug dealers live in all sorts of areas so if you are happy where you are then stay.

Keep your house Memoo, you have yourself given a perfect explanation in your OP of why it is precious and important. Don't let anyone undermine your good sense about it.

YANBU - I would feel the same.

What a challenging question - you want to do the best for you and your children, he wants the same? Do you want them to grow up in an area that you say is 'crap'?

Council houses tend to be on council estates, often rough areas, so if you want a change from that you may have to move out of social housing.

Private rental properties can be very secure these days if you have the right contract, tenants have a lot of rights and housing benefit covers the costs if you can't. Watch out for housing benefit cap changes though, due in April.

If the best thing for your kids is to move to a better area you may well have to rent privately.

A home is too important to risk - leave it as it is OP

So if you're in a council house, you're not a taxpayer?

Many people are in council / HA houses, work full time, pay full rent and council tax and their income tax.

It is very ignorant to assume that council house = no job and subsidised by taxpayers.

Memoo - I really would not even consider moving. This is the only security you and your children have. I really wouldn't even put his name on this tenancy, based on your other threads.

Don't make yourself vulnerable.