This is the final straw. Background:
DH earns decent wage - way above national average. I'm on unpaid maternity leave. We agreed DH would support us until I go back to work - I plan to go back in the next 12 months. He pays mortgage and most bills. He has always had a lot of debt - overdraft, loans and credit card bills. I didn't realise until after I married him the impact all this accrued debt would have on our relationship.
I have always paid half the bills until recently when I took unpaid maternity leave with second dc. So when dd was born I went back to 4 days a week when she was 4 months old and continued to pay half of the mortgage, nursery bills (even though I was earning less due to going part-time and he was working fulltime still).
In order for him to support us while I'm not earning I paid off a chunk of his debts with my saving. My theory was that with no overdraft and one of his credit card bills gone he would easily be able to pay the mortgage and bills. I have been using child benefit (we don't get any other benefits like child tax credit) to help pay for food and clothes for the dc.
DH recently admitted that despite me paying off his overdraft he is now over £1000 overdrawn and is struggling financially. I went through his bank account and together we worked out how to reduce our outgoings. Eg he was paying over £100 a month to 'buy' extra annual leave at work which I made him cancel - he'll have to get buy on the 25 days he currently gets like everyone else.
Anyway final straw came today. Every week my parents give dd £3 a week pocket money. We don't give her any pocket money so I really appreciate my parents doing this. I put the pocket money on the kitchen shelf last night with a reminder to myself to make dd put it in her money box.
This morning the money has gone. DH has taken it. This is not the first time. Last week he 'borrowed' money from her money box to buy a chinese and didn't give it back despite me nagging him. His mum sent the dc's a cheque for £20 for christmas which he paid into his bank account. I suggested he buy the dcs a christmas present with the money but I know the dcs will never see it, DH will keep it.
I can't go on like this. In other ways DH is a good man - works hard, is a good husband and father but the way he manages money is appalling. I can't respect a man that happily takes his daughters pocket money without a second thought. I am now thinking about going back to work fulltime and divorcing him.