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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

about 'D'P and going to his place

130 replies

Mumtabulous · 09/12/2011 00:07

Have been seeing new p for a couple of months following a nasty breakup with long-term x. Since we haven't been together very long I haven't taken this too seriously, but in the last week or so he has become more distant and so I've been giving this some more thought:

He has never, ever invited me to his place, and always has an excuse. Examples so far are his cousin being there and so 'in the way', his flat being too messy, mine is easier to get to and it's more difficult for me because I have DCs and he doesn't, his friends want to meet me, he doesn't have time and so on.

AIBU to think that I may have unknowingly become an OW? I suppose it doesn't really matter, but is it so U not to want him to have to keep making excuses like a teenager? Perhaps he lives with his mother and doesn't want to say - he is in his thirties after all? Don't want to overanalyse, but am starting to smell a rat!

OP posts:
JingleBelleDameSansMerci · 09/12/2011 15:31

Budge up, budge up...

MabelLucyAttwell · 09/12/2011 15:38

This is going t be the longest voyeur bench ever! Join i and we'll get into the Guinnness Book of Records.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 09/12/2011 15:51
SpaghettiTwirlerPrancerVixen · 09/12/2011 16:02
KatieScarlett2833 · 09/12/2011 16:15

marks place

Tallypet · 09/12/2011 16:20
Xmas Grin
QOD · 09/12/2011 16:24

bust him bust him!!

pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease!

mistlethrush · 09/12/2011 16:32

I'm apparently living with 5 other men (inc DH) Grin

BumptiousandBustly · 09/12/2011 17:36

Ok, don't like that at all, we are ex directory, just googled myself on 192 and they have FULL name, address, telephone number, everything! How do they get it? (and no wonder we keep getting all those dodgy calls, even though we are ex-directory)

Tallypet · 09/12/2011 20:00

Well? Anything happened? Is he wedded? With children? Crazy mom? What is happening?

Stropzilla · 09/12/2011 21:18

I just did 192 on myself, it has me at a couple of different addresses, with people who no longer live there, and worst of all... shows me 10 years older! /quietly cries.

ahhyesiseeyouvepooedonyourfoot · 09/12/2011 21:46

We defnitely need penguin style revenge...if you're in my area I'm up for the punishment whatever it may involve? Possibly "I notice you're married, I'm married to as it happen to my gorgeous if you look all squinty at me lesbian lover...I was going to involve you in tawdry tabloid style romps but sadly now I can't :("

ahhyesiseeyouvepooedonyourfoot · 09/12/2011 21:47

*definitely

ahhyesiseeyouvepooedonyourfoot · 09/12/2011 21:47

*too
FS

TattyDevine · 09/12/2011 21:52

Heheh how many people have 192'd themselves today on the strength of this thread?!?

Its true, actually, don't go on that alone, nor the football site.

Only you know how unusual his name is or how big or well populated the general area is or whether he's into football etc etc!

I think a genuine keep the lines of communication ask him if there is something he needs to discuss with you amnesty type situation is good enough.

Oddly enough the fact you've met his mates makes me wonder if its not as bad as wife and 2.4 kids.

Much as dogey mates might cover for a good friend here or there they are unlikely to openly meet them and pretend everything is normal if they were best man at the wedding only 3 years ago etc etc.

OH PLEASE UPDATE US BECAUSE EASTENDERS IS RATHER SLOW AT THE MO APART FROM THE ZANAB/YOUSSEF THING AND I JUST NEED TO KNOW

ExitPursuedBySanta · 09/12/2011 21:53

Marking my place.

TheRepublicOfDreams · 09/12/2011 21:56

Ooh mystery! I like! op do update us!

IneedAChristmasNickname · 09/12/2011 21:59
IneedAChristmasNickname · 09/12/2011 22:10

Well thats interesting!
The 1st listing (which is free) is my name and my town but not me Sad at having such a common name!
The next 3 listings are premium.
The 1st of which has me at a house, (assume my Mums address) living with Mum (with married name), Step-Dad, Mum (with old surname name) brother, and 2 other men I have never heard of. It has me listed there for year 03-04 which is correct.
2nd is (I assume) mine and DPs 1st place together. It has me and him, 2 other men and 2 other women. Listed as 05-10. We lived there 04-08. It puts in in 27-31 age group, I was 24 when I moved out!
3rd I assume is where I live now, although could be last house. Lists years 10-11, but places my age at 16-20 (I am 27)
So I have decided that 192 is a load of shit!

Original poster
Mumtabulous · 09/12/2011 23:16

Here I am!

Oh wow, I've missed a lot Wine

Since he has been a bit distant lately, I deliberately didn't call or text until he called me later in the afternoon. I didn't want to jump to conclusions about the 192 thing (yes isn't it cheeky listing people's details like that, how do we get them off?!) and I'm glad I didn't given what others are saying further up the thread! He has a very very uncommon name though, so I would be surprised if the football site profile wasn't his, especially with the spelling he uses - mustn't give away too much info here! Anyway, I suggested yet again that next time we went to his place while we were talking on the phone, just in a casual manner to gauge his reaction. He immediately gave an excuse about being 'tired' and 'busy waiting for someone' and hung up the phone!

I wasn't too impressed with that tbh, and busied myself with the DCs all evening. He called around 10 and I let the phone ring since I was finishing some housework and wanted to buy some time. I then called him back to see what he had to say for himself. It was another lukewarm conversation but he did mention meeting up, so I think next time I will have to confront him since I'm now way too curious. He seemed a bit miffed that I hadn't answered his call immediately!

I'm no longer placing too much trust in 192, although the football thing would make him the same age as the 192 details. I agree about meeting the mates, it seems unlikely so many of them would be willing to lie for him if he was hitched.

I'm still not completely convinced, mind you. Alarm bells still ringing, albeit not so loudly! Will update more tomorrow!

OP posts:
ViviPrudolf · 09/12/2011 23:21

Good form updating so conscientiously, OP much appreciated. It was starting to get a bit Derby Road out here on the Voyeurs bench. You're handling it admirably. Look forward to the next update.

God I'm sad.

BalloonTwister · 09/12/2011 23:31

192...Has me listed as living with my parents (I moved out 18 years ago) with them and two strangers, which is odd, as the house they live in has been in our family for over 70 years, and I'm reasonably certain that Edith Grannell has never been in residence!

blackeyedsanta · 09/12/2011 23:51

"anyone got an old oil drum? bit chilly tonight"

MyDogAteMyMincePies · 10/12/2011 00:12

Personally I wouldn't trust his friends. IME they would cover up anything if requested

MorelliOrRanger · 10/12/2011 00:15

grief, if he's lukewarm, why are you bothering. :(

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