Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

about 'D'P and going to his place

130 replies

Mumtabulous · 09/12/2011 00:07

Have been seeing new p for a couple of months following a nasty breakup with long-term x. Since we haven't been together very long I haven't taken this too seriously, but in the last week or so he has become more distant and so I've been giving this some more thought:

He has never, ever invited me to his place, and always has an excuse. Examples so far are his cousin being there and so 'in the way', his flat being too messy, mine is easier to get to and it's more difficult for me because I have DCs and he doesn't, his friends want to meet me, he doesn't have time and so on.

AIBU to think that I may have unknowingly become an OW? I suppose it doesn't really matter, but is it so U not to want him to have to keep making excuses like a teenager? Perhaps he lives with his mother and doesn't want to say - he is in his thirties after all? Don't want to overanalyse, but am starting to smell a rat!

OP posts:
ChippingInNeedsSleep · 09/12/2011 00:57

Nah - no need for that, just start a new thread asking if anyone lives near [his post code] and someone will volunteer to go and 'do a survey' or 'sell double glazing' Grin SE by any chance?? Grin

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/12/2011 01:28

I vote hoarder. If I'm right I want Thanks

BottleOfChristmasGin · 09/12/2011 05:45
SanTEEClaus · 09/12/2011 06:24

Didn't we have this same thread recently?

Anyway, I agree he's hiding something, although probably not a wife if you've met his friends.

And there is no rule that you have to use an abbreviation. Just use full words, FFS.

EuphemiaInExcelsis · 09/12/2011 06:25

He lives in his car.

Xmas Grin

(Or as Pictish would probably say, "He bides in his motor.")

HazleNutt · 09/12/2011 06:45

I met several friends of an ex of mine, they were all very nice. Then I also met his wife.

MrsMuddyPuddles · 09/12/2011 07:06

I vote lives in a shit tip. :o

wannabestressfree · 09/12/2011 07:12

I vote the mummy angle and she is like the one from 'sorry'......... Xmas Grin

nectarina · 09/12/2011 09:02

This exact thing happened to my sister, although she waited several years before finding out the truth. Turns out her boyfriend was still married but separated, with 3 kids and he was sleeping on different friends sofas as he couldn't get a flat as was bankrupt. He's now DBiL!

QuintessentiallyFestive · 09/12/2011 09:07

He lives in the pipeworks above his friends flat.

QuintessentiallyFestive · 09/12/2011 09:09

My friend was dating a man who did that.

LunaticFringe · 09/12/2011 10:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 09/12/2011 10:15

lunaticfringe
May be the DP is called Mortimer Xmas Shock

mumtabulous could be be a warewolf or vampire? Or does he have a long beard and wear red a lot?

You need to find out where he lives and stake it out pop around.

StrandedUnderTheMisltoe · 09/12/2011 10:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MudAndGlitter · 09/12/2011 10:24

Marks place

SuePurblybiltbyElves · 09/12/2011 10:24

sleeps in a bin
Or, could he be very, very rich and doesn't want you to love him for his money?

Original poster
Mumtabulous · 09/12/2011 10:26

Oh apols about the abbreviation...oops I did it again!

Did we have a similar thread recently? Can someone link to it, I can't find it!

I know, it's sad that it's come to this, but googled his name and that 192 directory site has come up with a list of names of people who live at the same address, including a woman's name of the same nationality.... but it could be his cousin (!) Flatmate (?!)

It also says that he is an age group 5-10 years older than he says he is! Why would he bother to lie about something like that, for goodness' sake? Confused

Now, do I let Biscuit know that he's busted, or is a slow fade away better?

OP posts:
HoHoOpotomus · 09/12/2011 10:29

Oh you have to let him know he's bested - otherwise several MN'ers will POP not knowing! Xmas Smile

HoHoOpotomus · 09/12/2011 10:29

bUsted! Confused

becstarsky · 09/12/2011 10:33

Yup, tell him he's busted. Apart from anything else it gives him a chance to explain himself if he's innocent and if not then he should suffer the embarrassment of realising that you know he's a cheat, and an incompetent cheat at that. Then tell us what he said Grin (marks place)

tigermoll · 09/12/2011 10:33

googled his name and that 192 directory site has come up with a list of names of people who live at the same address, including a woman's name of the same nationality.... but it could be his cousin (!) Flatmate (?!)

I wouldn't set too much store by that, - if it is a rental property, then all manner of people who no longer live there could pop up as being registered. Ditto the age group, - how did they even get that info about him? It may not be correct, - just a mis-ticked box on a form or data gathered for marketing purposes.

I think you have to just confront him, - and then tell us. However, the fact that you're doing all this checking means that your internal warning system must be going off like crazy, and you should always listen to your instincts. There's something not quite on the level about this guy, and you know it.....

Original poster
Mumtabulous · 09/12/2011 10:33

IN an age group, that was meant to be! Oh dear I'm not doing too well on the typing front here am I!

I've just hit on some football site where he's put his full name, the silly man, real date of birth and wait for it...marital status....MARRIED!! Xmas Shock Xmas Angry

OP posts:
becstarsky · 09/12/2011 10:35
Xmas Shock

The swine!

And the lying about his age thing ... Just pathetic. Midlife crisis cliche. You're well out of that one...

PatriciaHolm · 09/12/2011 10:35

Don't believe a word 192 says - it reckons my brother has about 4 other adults living with him and I know for a fact it's just his family and has been since they bought the house 6 years ago! It mixes up electoral roll stuff over years and is notoriously wrong.

Doesn't mean he's not up to something, but 192 is almost certainly wrong.

Original poster
Mumtabulous · 09/12/2011 10:38

Going off at a tangent for a second, does anyone else think that 192 is a bit cheeky publishing all that info without permission?

Ah yes, tigermoll, I thought the same about it being a rental property...

I can't believe my radar has only just picked up on this to be honest!

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread