To wonder why people get married when...

[dancingmustard]

They don't agree on who's name to take (Surname)

They like to be considered separate in a flimsy hippy type of way even though they've nailed their colours to the mast and took the nuptial plunge.

They hate the 'Traditions' of marriage yet actually get married.

And I wasn't a hippy.

ALL marriage is is a legal arrangement-everything else is what the couple make of it. Surely this is obvious? This is why YABVVU. Marriage is a legal arrangement- names are irrelevant.

Civil partnerships were introduced to give homosexual people access to something (i.e. civil partnerships) that are akin to marriage from a legal viewpoint.

There is therefore no point having civil partnerships for heterosexual people as they have the option of having this legal arrangement already i.e. marriage.
It's also important to note that the current proposals are not for gay people to marry but to allow them to have civil partnerships undertaken in a religious setting.

I didnt see not changing my name as a feminist act per se. I just like my name, dont particularly like my husbands surname. Ive had my name for 30+ years, have a signature Im used to, Im known professionally by this surname, all my bank records, passport etc etc are in this name. I just dont get why anyone would want to go through the hassle of changing their name unless they have a really horrible name to begin with that they are glad to be rid of.

My DHs name is more common and requires less spelling it out
That may have been a factor in my decision

Mabel - thats the small minded attitude Ive come across when you mention you havent changed your name. Im so glad Im with a man that comforatble within himself and our relationship that this is not an issue. Im also so glad youve found a man that you are happy with

I live in the UK. My name is my name. I'm attached to it. I've signed it more times than I could count. I've worked hard in my profession for it to be recognised a name to trust and respect. Above all I'm proud of my achievements and to change my name would mean I'd lose that instant recognition of my peers. I don't believe in work/home names. I am me. I AM A SEPARATE ENTITY TO MY HUSBAND.

I'd had my name for 28 years when I stood in front of friends and family and said 'I, PMPiggy, love you and want to commit to you, and only you for the rest of my life'. DH did not say 'ditto, but only if you change your name darling'.

We agreed that I'd retain my name and he'd retain his. My DC has taken her father's surname, but has my surname as a middle name. We are a family unit, one woman and one man with a DC. What difference does sharing one name make?

I actually want to take my husband's last name (like RocingBeyondtheXmastree, my name is a bit of a pain). However, due to living overseas it's next to impossible to get it changed through the embassy, and I haven't been home to get it changed since I got married. Might be years before we get around to changing my name.

I wanted to get married because it is a sacrament of the Church (well, my church anyway).

Ericwhatever? Please be respectful of Mr. Northman's name (or any other part of him. He really does deserve respect for his other parts).

Now this may be completely wrong, but surely it made a difference in "the olden days" when people married at 18? The women hadnt been working all their life with their maiden name, so didnt have so much to "lose"?

I think SnapesMistress summed it up nicely.

RockingBEYONDtheXmasTree Thu 08-Dec-11 11:13:33
Now this may be completely wrong, but surely it made a difference in "the olden days" when people married at 18? The women hadnt been working all their life with their maiden name, so didnt have so much to "lose"?

apart from their identity, and obvious link with family?

and im sure in the olden days, when people died at 35, people started working younger.

The whole naming thing is completely cultural anyway: my PIL are from a very conservative rural area and are themselves very traditional. However, MIL has her own name - as do all the other women in the family.

The reason: they're Palestinian, and that's just how things are done where they live. DH, although he's educated and had been living in Europe for a while, was really puzzled when we got married and were asked about the name thing. That one of us would have to change names simply hadn't occurred to him and my wish to keep my name in his mind was not even thatbmuch of a wish but simply the default option.

yabu, each to their own.

I was more then happy to take dh's name, its much nicer.