To wonder why people get married when...

[dancingmustard]

They don't agree on who's name to take (Surname)

They like to be considered separate in a flimsy hippy type of way even though they've nailed their colours to the mast and took the nuptial plunge.

They hate the 'Traditions' of marriage yet actually get married.

:o I really hope someone questions me on this so I can shout in caps I AM CANADIAN like StewieGriffinsMom on that hilarious thread :o

Oh. Erm. I don't know. I think it's just accepted as one if those really freakin' odd things they come up with in Quebec.

Maybe choice would be nice Jacks.

LOL @ shout in caps :)

In Spain, and Spanish-speaking countries, no one changes their names after marriages, and have never done. That's quite a number of countries too.

Here in the UK, we have a choice and either option is acceptable and fine. In fact, it's becoming more common (though still rare) for the man to be the one to change his name. There are pros and cons for changing or not changing.

So why is this a problem for you, and why does it have anything to do with whether or not a couple get married in the first place?

For what it's worth, I did change my name and I still don't see your point.

My point is obvious.
The fact you don't agree with it isn't.
Maybe read the posts?

Hmmm. Quite possibly I'm very contrary by nature DH would tell you so anyway but if I were French Canadian I'd be pissed about not having a choice. I'd dislike being told I can't have my husband's name as much as I would dislike being forced to take his name.
I've never heard anyone complain. But I've also never thought to ask, and living on the West Coast, I don't meet very many French Canadians.

*It's a womans right in this country to choose a partner and choose the tradition I wonder how many countries on that list give the woman a choice?

French Canadian (I would think so)

Arabic (Highly doubtful)

Chinese (Human rights aren't exactly their forte)

Ethiopian (Appalling record of victimisation of women)

Women in the UK are mostly educated and are not forced against their will to accept the tradition of marriage.*

wow...this is so offensive.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being contrary :)

How is it offensive to suggest that certain countries don't have great human rights records brdgrl?
Have you read a newspaper recently?

In Quebec, by the way, a woman can apply for a name change of she desires. So she does have "choice"; it just is a similar process to someone wanting to legally change their name for any other reason.

As for the OP...
I married my DH last year and kept my name. I'm confused (well, confused and a bit disgusted) by your question. How on earth does not wanting to engage in this one particular tradition (which, as has been already pointed out, is hardly a universal tradition of marriage, but only one practice among many!) suggest that I don't have any real interest in the spiritual, cultural, social, and financial arrangement of marriage?

In some places and amongst some people, it is also a marriage tradition to present my husband with a dowry. I didn't do that, either.

I didn't wear something blue at my wedding, either, come to thnk of it. Why did I even bother to get married???

There is no legal requirement where I live to change my name. There is no requirement within my church. My family does not recognize or follow the tradition of taking the man's name. So whose sensibilities am I offending, exactly...?

I don't really see what offensive about it either.

How was your post offensive???? Seriously? Check yourself.

(dancingmustard's opinion, that is)

Women in the UK are mostly educated and are not forced against their will to accept the tradition of marriage.

And nor do we have to accept the traditions either. That is a good thing, no?

I question why you believe that a traditional marriage set up is the only valid one? Why should couples who don't choose to participate in all the traditions of marriage either not bother, or get civilly partnered instead? Your argument makes no sense. You seem to be saying that people should only to marriage according to the customs of their country or not bother- which is a strange and indefensible point of view.

brdgrl you think these countries mentioned have great human rights records.
You really do need to read more if that's what you think.

"Arabic" is not a country. You really need to educate yourself.

EricNorthmansMistress

I stated that people who complain about the traditions of marriage after the fact get on my nerves.

Alternative marriages are of course fine.

But they are alternative by their very nature?

brdgrl

I wasn't the one to originally use the term Arabic even though the generic terminology still stands for the purpose of this debate.

Read more like I said then ask the poster who used the term arabic instead of getting your feet wet in a pool of rhetorical porridge.

Thank you.

You are ridiculous. And semi-literate. Thanks for this scintillating debate.

And you can't even spot who used a term first because you've got all the skills of an ignorant know nowt :)

And your human rights knowledge is shocking.

Are you pissed?

I wasn't the one to originally use the term Arabic even though the generic terminology still stands for the purpose of this debate.
This doesn't make sense! "Generic terminology"? You made a sweeping generalisation about (I guess) Arabic-speaking cultures. You clearly know nothing about the status or education of women in some of those cultures (yes, cultures, plural). You can barely put two ideas together in a sentence. I'm done - let someone else sort you out, if they can...

You think that the above named countries have a good human rights record ENM ?

I worked for an international human rights organisation for six years. You're an imbecile. Go ahead and report the post, it deserves it - but it needed to be said.