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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed ith the school - how many times can you penalise a child for poor attendance

270 replies

654321 · 06/12/2011 20:23

There are mixed opinions about taking your kids out of school, and we made a choice to take DS out of school for 5 days in total.....these were treated as unauthorised absence. Now bearing in mind that since reception DS's attendance has always been in the high 90's (around 98%) Im not typically a parent that takes non attendance lightly...and there were genuine non financial reasons for not taking holidays during the appropriate holidays - but I also accept that no one twisted my arm to go on holiday.

DS did not qualify for the xmas treat - day trip to the panto because of his attendance - which he accepted as he knew we had been away on holiday and got to do things whist other kids were in school - however now he has been told in addition to that he cannot attend the end of year christmas disco...

How many things can they disqualify him from - he is being punished for something that was technically my choice. It seems that the message is that anything nice coming up he wont be able to do because of his attendance - it just seems to be labouring the point at the expense of the child...DS is 12YO btw :)

OP posts:
Original poster
654321 · 06/12/2011 20:45

OMG ok you pick up on the word Happily!!!...no one give over money happily - what I mean is that I see the paying of a fine as fair justice for a child having time out of school

OP posts:
CuriousMama · 06/12/2011 20:46

I think the school are awful for doing this. It's not his fault poor lad Sad Is he bothered about the disco? I'd take him somewhere he loves on the night of it.

MabelLucyAttwell · 06/12/2011 20:46

654321

So you would be prepared to pay a fine instead of having a treat withdrawn from your child? Paying fines would increase the cost of your holiday so what's the point of going away in term time to avoid holiday price rises in school holiday time?

herbietea · 06/12/2011 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PattySimcox · 06/12/2011 20:47

Punishment for poor attendance really fecks me off big time.

My DCs have between them autism, migraines, asthma and a complex but as yet undetermined neurological condition that mean that they are often not well enough to attend school through no fault of their (or my) own. Add in orthodontic appointments x 2 every other month (only available during school hours and term time as ortho is a working parent and on a school hours term time contract)

Original poster
654321 · 06/12/2011 20:48

Downbytheriverside - I understand your point and I have made that point myself in one of my earlier posts - my question is where does it stop being a punishment?

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 06/12/2011 20:48

Well you can look at it that you've inflicted this on your son, OP. You made the decision to take him out of school and you seem happy with it. Not really your choice to make though, was it? A means-tested fine might have more impact and stop you being so happy to pay them.

Get the rules upfront so that your son isn't penalised again for what YOU choose to do with him.

Original poster
654321 · 06/12/2011 20:49

Mabelucyatwell - read my post - the reason for out of term holiday was not for financial gain.....

OP posts:
cheesesarnie · 06/12/2011 20:49

seems a bit extreme but it is your fault not the schools.id make sure your son knows that

tethersjinglebellend · 06/12/2011 20:49

I have ranted at length about this only this week.

Attendance awards/sanctions for primary aged children are utterly, utterly absurd and make a mockery of other rewards and sanctions which are (rightly) contingent on a child's behaviour and achievement.

CuriousMama · 06/12/2011 20:50

She didn't take him out of school because of the cash. Out of interest why did you take him out? Not that I'm judging I took my two out in October though it was authorised.

MaureenMLove · 06/12/2011 20:50

Trouble is, there are plenty of people that say they are still paying far less for a holiday in term time, even with paying a fine - so the fine isn't working, is it?

This way, you are being punished by making you feel responsible for your lo not getting all the nice things at school.

The message has to get through somehow.

For the record, btw, I still think that students should be allowed 10 days authorised holiday! Grin

tethersjinglebellend · 06/12/2011 20:51

"Well you can look at it that you've inflicted this on your son, OP"

Children with much worse parents than the OP are being similarly penalised in schools across the country. It's shameful.

montmartre · 06/12/2011 20:51

If he has only had those 5 days, he still has over 93% attendance for autumn term. What are they complaining about exactly? (10/148*100)

ReindeerBollocks · 06/12/2011 20:51

DS regularly misses reward treats, because he has a long term medical condition which means his attendance is usually at the 80% mark.

Really irks me if I'm honest. Making an example of all poor attendances rather than just ones like the OP.

Personally I don't think it's your DS's fault, but he is the one who will be punished, can you not take it up with the school?

tethersjinglebellend · 06/12/2011 20:52

It doesn't matter if she kept him off school in order to sweep chimneys and sell matches- why should a child receive a negative consequence for the actions of their parent?

Original poster
654321 · 06/12/2011 20:52

Lyingwitch - I was aware of the rules, my arguement is that they appear to be being stretched to include every festive activity leading up to christmas holdiays - where does it stop?

And yes it was my choice to make to take him out of school - what a ridiculous statement.....everything is a choice, he is my DS...there is a consequence to that choice, but it is still however MY choice

OP posts:
CuriousMama · 06/12/2011 20:53

Reindeer that's awful Sad

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 06/12/2011 20:54

If a child has a medical condition then it shouldn't count towards attendance treats. Willful parents are selfish, they do as they like, and sometimes a fine doesn't mean that much. I'm sorry for OP's child but I don't much rate parents who choose to take a child out of school for a holiday knowing that there will be consequences for the child. The degree of 'entitlement' matters not.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 06/12/2011 20:54

No OP, it's NOT your choice. You don't OWN your son and you don't get to decide whether he goes to school or not... or do you think that you do?

DeliaSucksStollen · 06/12/2011 20:55

Wow. I've never heard over this. I think it's shitty. Especially in the instance of children being unwell. I think the school are being way too heavy handed in their withdrawal of treats. I would have a word with school in your shoes.

tethersjinglebellend · 06/12/2011 20:55

Lying, it was the OP's choice in as much as it was not her DS's choice.

Original poster
654321 · 06/12/2011 20:56

Curousmama - I took them out during October because from christmas previous up to the end of August I had not been permitted to take any holidays because of a project I had been working on - this holiday was therefore a well earned rest and an opportunity for some quality time with the children and DP

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 06/12/2011 20:57

tethers... Of course it wasn't the DS's choice, he's a child - she's the parent.

What is the school supposed to do? Give the message that it's ok for a child to be out of school unauthorised? Some parents just don't care - they'll do as they like and the child will take the consequences.

flamegirl77 · 06/12/2011 20:58

What a horrible policy. School celebrations should include everyone. Bunch of killjoys.

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