to be upset with what my child is learning at school / WWYD?

[IteotYEARawki]

My older boy is 5 and in his 3rd term of school so far (year 1).

He has learned that Guy Fawkes was hung, drawn, quartered and then burned on a bonfire.

That hundreds of people had their heads chopped off with a guillotine.

And the latest - that Anne Franks hid from the SS behind a bookcase, that people were marched off to concentration camps and that thousands, including children, were killed by gassing. And that the children were told they were going to have a shower when they were taken to the gas chamber.

There has been a museum display on Anne Franks & her life in town which was advertised on the radio - DS1 overheard it and started telling us all that he'd learned about it at school. Apparently his teacher has visited a concentration camp and described it, including the rooms full of boxes of bones.

I don't deny that history needs to be taught and that the Holocaust is part of it. But this graphic detail, at 5?

We already had a chat with his teacher after the Guy Fawkes thing. I don't think I'm being precious in not wanting him exposed to this stuff so soon. It'll take about 3-4 months for him to process through it all and then we'll have inconsolable crying at night while the horror hits him.

AIBU? Should we talk to his teacher again, or chat with the principal?

so what age will you deem it appropriate for him to work through distressing facts of life?

Now I'm a firm believer in teaching accurate history but the detail about the Holocaust is something we only teach in lessons to Year 8 in my school. Sure most of them have a pretty good knowledge due to The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas etc but in lessons the detail waits until then.

I'd have a word in a non-confrontational way about the impact that level of detail is having at home. They can learn about the subject without needing the nitty gritty about exactly HOW they died.

Shouldn't he be learning the alphabet, how to add up and learnign to write his name???

Sorry, but you do sound totally precious about this.

How are you so sure that it will take 3 months to process and then affect him?

He sounds like a bright attentive kid who soaks up information and is interested.

A lot of children (boys especially for some reason) enjoy learning the gorier side of history and are not phased by it.

I learned all of these things in primary school, so at some point between 4 and 11. I thought younger children tended to enjoy the gruesome stuff. Horrible Histories is pretty successful.

Bit bloody young, I agree.

Horrible History, anyone?

I think you are being precious actually.

Obviously you know your child but none of my 3 ever inconsolably cried at night when the horror hit them. I think that was a bit of a dramatic statement tbh.

By all means talk to his teacher about it but the facts remain that these dreadful things happened and every single living person on this earth should know about it.

My DS (12) is not enjoying learning about 'Protect and Survive' and what to do if there is a Nuclear War at the moment.

Why on earth would it take 3 or 4 months to process something?

He has been taught something that has had so little impact that he failed to even mention it until prompted by another source so I really don't see the problem.

My DS is 5 and he LOVES this stuff. We have talked a lot about Guy Fawkes, although he doesn't really get what it actually means.

One if his story books talked about the rack and other torture instruments and he's a big fan of Bloody Mary.

However, I would draw the line at the Holocaust, mainly because children were killed, separated from parents etc and I think they would be frightened.

I think 5 is too little to be told about barbaric executions and the reality of the Holocaust. I don't know at what age the graphic detail should be taught, my DS is 7yrs and knows but he is much more mature now than he was even 2 yrs ago and is very interested in history now.

I thought it sounded fairly normal. I did cringe a bit when you said you'd had a chat with the teacher after the Guy Fawkes thing.

Just read the 3-4 months to process bit again.

I don't understand

I think much of it is how you react at home. If you are all full of horror and 'oh how dreadful' etc etc then he will see it as more of a big deal.

Can you just tell him that it is important and interesting to learn these things, but that they all happened a long time ago and you are there to keep him safe?

I remember being concerned when my DD (now 10) was a similar age - many of the other mums were too. I remember my daughter being a bit freaked out by gas masks and air raid sirens. But they all came through it, and my daughter became a bit of an expert on the subject of Anne Frank. On reflection it's part of learning and maturing, and don't forget that generally you will only hear the headlines from your DS, and not all the explaining and context that goes with it which all sinks in too.

Think you just have to discuss these things conversationally, with lots of reminders along the lines of "thank goodness that kind of thing no longer happens" and "times were terrible in the olden days, aren't we lucky to be living now".

There are some good books on the subject aimed at children that age - Usborne do a good (gentle) young reader book about Anne Frank, and there is a series of books called "In Grandma's Day" or something like that. I found the more the learned about that era, the less they worried about the scary stuff and became quite interested in the social impact - rationing etc.

I wouldn't have a problem with it. My 5yo knows a few of those things but I haven't spoken about the holocaust yet, but if something comes on the new or RL I would tell him.

I can understand that sparkling because that is learning about something that could happen, rather than something that did happen. The fear of a possibility is always greater than hearing about something that is very unlikely to ever happen again.

I also think at 12, you have more grasp on the bigger picture, and can be prone to over thinking things too, and be more aware of your mortality.

Why on earth would take 3 or 4 months to process?

But yes- a bit too graphic IMHO.

LOL at connor. OK , I actually agreee that this is a TAD graphic for such little ones. that said I vividly remeber learning about the trial by fire in primary school. shudder

"then we'll have inconsolable crying at night while the horror hits him"

Do you really think your child is emotionally and cognitively able to comprehend the horror of the holocaust at this young age? Cos if he is he must be some kind of child genius.

This stuff is part of the NC, if learning about history had this effect on the hundreds of thousands of kids passing through our primary schools every year there would be national outrage. When I were a nipper we were taught about the holocaust/ second world war, victorians and tudors. It was all in the same realm as dragons and rainbow brite to me until I reached about 9 or 10 and started being able to contextualise these things.

I also think (sorry for multiple posts) that the Holocaust is a little different as it commands a level of respect that older stuff doesn't.

DS is perfectly capable of lapping up gory horrible histories but the same light hearted touch can't be applied to the Holocaust.

My main concern would be that, at 5, not all children are old enough to understand. Having said that, they manage OK with remembrance Sunday so I may be taking out of my ass.

This information has obviously come from full school assemblies, and is important stuff. You son has an excellent memory. I am sure they haven't gone into it in depth in his class.

My Ds was taught about the titanic in Y1.

brilliant.

not.

He was very upset about it all, was in tears about for a week (not continuously obviously, but every time I picked him up from school he was standing there wide eyed and horrified). He happens to be an over sensitive child with bucket loads of empathy. I switch the news off in the car if he's with me.

For him it was not suitable at all.