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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wonder if its fair that some forces children get fees paid at private schools?

290 replies

scruffybird · 04/12/2011 16:47

A few old friends of mine have their children at good private boarding schools due to ninety percent of the fees being paid for by the forces. I am perfectly aware that I may be being unreasonable for even questioning this, but it just seems wrong?
One of the girls has gone to a school hundreds of miles away from where her family live so that she would be eligible.

OP posts:
reelingintheyears · 04/12/2011 18:12

HaHa,so our forces personnel are now hit men?

For it is hit men who get paid to kill.

How would you have us defend ourselves in the event of another war in Europe?

Or any other attack.

GrinWhat a load of wank.

madwomanintheattic · 04/12/2011 18:12

quite. the ignorance is staggering. in 16 years i have fired plenty of shots, but thankfully have never had to do so meaningfully. i actually think it's very sad that people go through life with this sort of misguided belief in their heads. and feeling so very righteous about it all. v v sad.

MrsSchadenfreude · 04/12/2011 18:12

Me too, Saltire.

MrsSchadenfreude · 04/12/2011 18:14

Madwoman, but you should be at home with the kiddies, innit, not using guns. That is clearly not something that laydees and particularly not mummies, should be doing. Xmas Smile

Itsallgonetitsup · 04/12/2011 18:14

Its not private school its boarding school! The allowance is called Continuity of Education Allowance to allow continuity of education regardless of parental postings.

The allowance is paid upto a certain set amount (a specific figure) but this figure must be no more than 90% of the fees.

Military families that claim this allowance can use private or state boarding schools. In recent years there are very few boarding schools where the CEA covers 90% of the fees in private schools because the capped figure falls well below what most private boarding schools fees. In my experience families make up 20 to 40% of the fees themselves.

There are very strict guidelines which have recently been tightend even more recently about WHO is the military can claim this allowance, there are strict rules on mobility which also covers the civilian members of the family.

To just say the military pays for the kids of those serving to go to private school is not really factual - its not as straightforward as that.

BigBoobiedBertha · 04/12/2011 18:14

DH went to boarding school paid for by the Army from the age of 10, as did his 2 brothers. His brother actually ended up being held back a year because of the effect the moves had on him in primary school. It was no bed of roses.

I agree with GingerWrath, not all army postions are combative - FIL was a padre. Didn't stop him being posted to dangerous areas though.

I also agree with madwoman - from what my MIL says, it was no bed of roses sending your children off one by one to boarding school. She says if she had the choice again that is not what she would do. However faced with a DS who was failing due to all the moving and 2 more who didn't cope so well with being uprooted every couple of years they did what they thought was best at the time. Whilst DH and his brothers loved their school, all 3 of them have said no matter what, they would never send their children to boarding school - it may have provided a stable environment and a good education but it still wasn't a 'normal' family life.

Bear in mind also that some state schools near military bases where there is high turnover of children also tend to struggle too and aren't the best schools. It is hard if your classes are constantly changing, if the children come from other areas with other curriculums and you are also having to deal with the emotional and behavioural issues that get thrown up when children are moved around a lot. It does not make for outstanding schools, no matter how hard the teachers work.

CarpetCrawlers · 04/12/2011 18:15

Ooh yes Indulgence Flights, used them all the time during the Gulf War, from Germany to UK, also got one to HK for £50 as well!

There is a cap on how much the forces will pay for fees, so in our case the amount we had to pay was 20%. And for what it's worth, it was the worst move I ever made, sending dc's away. They didn't last long and therefore education was disrupted anyhow. The reason we decided on boarding was that we didn't know where in the world we would be posted to until 3 weeks prior to moving, so at least the education side of things could be sorted!

Sevenfold · 04/12/2011 18:16

yabu

grovel · 04/12/2011 18:24

Has anybody mentioned the fantastic perk of having (shitty) married quarters to live in? How dreadful is that?

MrsSnaplegs · 04/12/2011 18:25

Nikon sometimes it is the women who are serving and the men who are sahp. My Dd is 6 an has so far been to 3 nurseries and 2 schools, we will move again next year and again 2 years later. I am lucky that she is bright, sociable and fits in anywhere and so far she has been to excellent state schools. I am also lucky that I have done most of my service before having children so when she gets to 11 and my DS starts school I have the option to leave however if we expected everyone to leave when they have children we would have no experienced personnel in the forces.
Do you realize in the old days female nurses weren't allowed to continue nursing if they had children? Can you imagine the effect that would have on the nhs now?
Also not everyone in the forces shoots people for a living - some of us are medics, chaplains, police, administrators, chefs, engineers, pilots ....... Shall I go on?

Grumpystiltskin · 04/12/2011 18:25

I'm sure next time your area is helped out by the armed forces when it snows/gales/water supply is interrupted/floods/strikes/ waitrose is closed or whatever, you will pass on your thanks to them being on call 24/7 365 days a year and explain your opinion of CEA.

Original poster
scruffybird · 04/12/2011 18:26

Feel free to star a thread on it grovel. I have stayed in many, and have all been of a good standard

OP posts:
LtEveDallas · 04/12/2011 18:27

Cavemum, sorry about your brother and his friends, shit isn't it? Sad

Two weeks ago I watched an old friend come home for the last time. Next weekend I'll be saying goodbye. I watched my usually stoic husband breakdown in tears for what he might have been. And then I come on mumsnet and read this shit.

RIP Shag Sad

(Fwiw. My dd is 6. She has already been to 2 different schools and lived in 4 different houses in 3 different countries. If she was a senior I would be seriously considering Boarding School - I'm lucky, I'll be out by the time it's an issue)

discrete · 04/12/2011 18:27

It's the least part of the money the forces waste.

CarpetCrawlers · 04/12/2011 18:28

Or the fact that when you move in, the person before you lived like a pig, obviously was charged for not leaving the MQ clean, and after leaving your last home like a new pin, you then had to endure a week of cleaning to get it up to standard. All of this on top of the emotional stress of an overseas move, jetlag, sickly kids (mine always became ill either before we left or when we arrived)!

grovel · 04/12/2011 18:31

Well, scruffybird, IME you've been very fortunate.

Original poster
scruffybird · 04/12/2011 18:31

Slightly off topic carpet. However, we got disturbance allowance which covered cleaning. And overseas moves were the highlights for us...still miss Cyprus ,sob.

OP posts:
troisgarcons · 04/12/2011 18:32

Ah, Indulgence flights - those were indeed the days!

Original poster
scruffybird · 04/12/2011 18:34

Maybe grovel, but they all had bigger gardens than our civilian house with its postage stamp size garden, and rent was a tiny percentage of wage........(takes a minute to remind myself why we left)

OP posts:
rogersmellyonthetelly · 04/12/2011 18:35

Wtf? These people serve their country, put their lives on the line to protect us and you are complaining about footing their bill for their kids having the stability in their education that our kids have as standard?
Well thank goodness that there's someone out there selfless enough to do the job because judging by some of the attitudes I have seen on here, precious few of you lot would be willing to get off your arses to help anyone else.

itsbrandybutterandtinseltime · 04/12/2011 18:35

Yes scruffy many of the married quarters are WELL below par. We managed 3 months before I became ill with damp. I was 7 months pregnant, DHE refused to move us. So we skinted ourselves to pay for our own house.

Boarding is a perk of the job, although you'll be no doubt be pleased to hear that it is coming up for review before 2015.

CarpetCrawlers · 04/12/2011 18:35

Sorry, was getting carried away with myself there! Yes DA was granted to all, but not everyone back in the 80's - 90's used it for that purpose, believe me, I had 3 majorly dirty quarters to deal with.

Will skulk away now and let the topic get back on track Smile

Julesnobrain · 04/12/2011 18:36

Haven't read all the threads but as a high rate uk taxpayer I have no issue that the gov pay to assist financially children of our armed forces to have a settled education. It is part of their renumeration package, not a perk and it's not as if they don't deserve it. I can think of many undeserved ways our money is spent this is not one of them.

itsbrandybutterandtinseltime · 04/12/2011 18:37

carpet I believe you can contact DHE for compensation if your house wasn't clean when you moved in. I know it isn't good enough though Sad

CaveMum · 04/12/2011 18:37

Thanks LtEve, it was 3 years ago last week. RIP Tony & Georgie. Sorry about your friend, 'tis utterly shite at times.

It's threads like these, all too regular on this website that bring Rudyard Kipling's poem, Tommy.

"You talk o' better food for us, an' schools, an' fires, an' all:
We'll wait for extry rations if you treat us rational.
Don't mess about the cook-room slops, but prove it to our face
The Widow's Uniform is not the soldier-man's disgrace.
For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Chuck him out, the brute!"
But it's "Saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot;
An' it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' anything you please;
An' Tommy ain't a bloomin' fool -- you bet that Tommy sees!"