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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that 6am is too early for the family to be getting up?

95 replies

bebemoojem · 03/12/2011 07:36

especially if we were up late?

basically dd1 2.5 woke at 6 this morning. She had been up until 9pm and got up at 6am.
I told dh to give her a little milk and act as if it were still say 4 or 5am because she was up so late and we all needed some sleep yet. DH said it was no problem and that he'd get up with her... I said she was up late, she'll tantrum all day if she's tired and you know she doesn't nap during the day any more.
Plus, tbh I want her to think 6am is early because during the week when you're gone I cannot cope with her getting up at 6 because I have the baby to deal with too and if dd1 is up and being loud then dd2 cannot sleep and then before long I have 2 screaming kids and I find it very difficult to cope especially as I'm also tired. So please, just give her some milk and lets all just doze for another hour or 2...
He got up and started playing with her which further woke up dd2 who was feeding and now we're all up. Dd1 is whiny and tantrumy and dd2 keeps trying to doze off but the tantrums are waking her back up. :(
I'm feeling very snarky because of it all. I'm a 'single parent' during the week because dh works away from home M-F. And I really feel a bit miffed that I feel undermined by him a lot during the weekends. I'm trying to get things sorted so that I can deal with it during the week...yet on the weekends everything seems to go to pot and it takes until Wednesday to recover...

What do you say? AIBU? Should I just deal with it?
What time is it still 'night' in your house until? What time is it acceptable to be up? Do you encourage your kids to stay in bed when it is still early? Or do you just get up with them whenever they get up?
I admit that if dd1 had gone to bed at 6 or 7pm and woke at 6am I would be less inclined to put her back to bed because I know she'll have had enough sleep and won't tantrum all day... but being as she was up late....

anyway let me have your judgements on his head or mine...

OP posts:

Pagwatch · 03/12/2011 11:54

I had my children in my 30s and 40s.
I am not aware I have ever moaned about getting up early and I am up at 5.45 6 days a week.

Why do people made weird generalizations ?

Yesmynameis · 03/12/2011 12:22

I understand why you are doing so, wrt to your explanation about the yelling etc, but if you are having to intervene when your DH is dealing with the tantrums, then surely you are undermining him , not the other way around...

It's hard for you, because you parent alone during the week and are used to coping alone and having everything done your way, but you need to learn to step back and let him learn how to deal with it himself, otherwise he will never get better at it and you will never ever feel you get a break, and round and round you will go.

molly3478 · 03/12/2011 12:23

I dont think its that ninkynonker hee it is seen as more abnormal to be an older mum so I suppose all comments I hear in RL are from people who say its different for me I was older than most didnt have my first until 32/33 etc. I dont mean any offence to anyone just telling what most people tell me

ssd · 03/12/2011 12:35

pag, why are you up at 5.45 6 days a week if your kida are older?

and is that a picture of your house in your profile?? jesus, you must be richer than god!

ssd · 03/12/2011 12:38

molly maybe most older mums need more sleep as they get knackered quicker also they moan they dont have a social life as their parents/ in laws are too old to babysit and they have no family support and yes it is fucking depressing you try it for 13 years

or maybe not

Pagwatch · 03/12/2011 12:41

Is God rich?

Ds2 needs loads of help in the morning and I have to drop DD by 8.00 to be back for his bus, so we need to leave here at 7.35. I get up first and get myself ready, take the digs out and then I can wake the two dc.

On Saturday dd has a swimming club training session that starts at 7.00.

I guess it's just that ds2 is older in years but a toddler in terms of personal skills. So I might as well get used to it.

Sorry. Probably more info than you needed

Chandon · 03/12/2011 12:44

6 am is normal for a 2 year old.

If you don't want her to be grizzling in the afternoon, put her to bed earlier in the evening.

Your DH was right on this one.

Once they are older (4 or 5) you can ask them not to get up so early.

my 6 year old still wakes up at 6, 6:30. he now knows to stay in bed until it's 7 (can tell the time now).

SantasStrapon · 03/12/2011 12:50

I'm still getting up at 6am, to get the DDs off to school. I've been getting up at 6am, or earlier, for most of my life. Dogs, horses, work, children, no such thing as a lie-in in this house.

bigTillyMint · 03/12/2011 12:51

IME it is very normal for toddlers to wake up at 6, or even earlier, even if they have had a late night - they just don't do lie-ins.

You are lucky to have DH who is happy to get up early. I was in my 30's when I had mine and was always the one to get up. I still get up earlier than DH and the children now lie in till 9 or later, and I am old. I do not complain about it

Could you get your DH to either play/colour, etc QUIETLY till a bit later with her, or even better, take her out for a walk/park/whateve?

MrsJoeDuffy · 03/12/2011 12:53

Im not 18 I am 27. I am talking about the very small amount of mums who have kids in late 30s/40s we have so few here and all they do is say cant cope no sleep/minimal sleep or how you cant have a social life

What an odd thing to say. Have you done an age check ? looked for a valid birth cert? How would you know how many mums have their kids in their 30s and 40s?

Firawla · 03/12/2011 12:54

6am is normal for a lot of toddlers although yanbu its annoying to have to get up at that time, but the best thing is train them to play quietly or watch tv/dvd because if they expect to just get up and be loud and run about at that time then imo its not on - even for your neighbours sake etc, and for your own sake as it would drive you mad. i see why you suggested to your dh to give her milk and make her think its nighttime, but if he was happy to get up its not really that much of a big deal just put her to bed a little bit early tonight if she needs to catch up her sleep.

valiumredhead · 03/12/2011 12:56

jesus, you must be richer than god! How rude!

Ds has to be out of the door at 8am ish to walk to school so I'm up at 6.30 - 7 most mornings. I naturally wake early as I get older - as soon as I hit 37 I started waking before the alarm.

molly3478 · 03/12/2011 13:01

Mrsjoeduffy - what in my area that I know. I know how old the school mums, work colleagues and mums from group are because we talk to each other all the time. Surely thats what you talk about when you meet people?

northernwreck · 03/12/2011 13:06

I physically can't sleep longer than 7 hours. I wish I could!
Glad you are not knackered Pag. I am 34 now and hoping that I might get a chance to have a dc2 before I am 40!

NinkyNonker · 03/12/2011 13:08

I have never been asked my age (30), I can't imagine it coming up to be honest.

Pagwatch · 03/12/2011 13:14

good luck northernwreck.

To be honest I think once you just accept it and stop being wistful about when you used to get a lie in it gets easier.

molly3478 · 03/12/2011 13:14

I know all the mums ages, where they live, who they are going out with/married to, where they like to go, their interests etc maybe we talk too much!

Pagwatch · 03/12/2011 13:16

Maybe you are just really nosy Molly.

molly3478 · 03/12/2011 13:22

Im not the one that always asks the questions I think it comes from spending hours a day with the same groups of people you just end up knowing everythng about them!

SparklyGingerbreadMuffin · 03/12/2011 15:01

I had my first baby at 34. I'd also like another before I'm 40.

I hate being tired and getting up after less than 5/6 hours sleep is not good but I'm used to it now.

I have always been the same, for 20 odd years at least.

I'm just lazy

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