to be annoyed at being called by my first name?

[SenseofEntitlement]

First off, I have worked in call centres, and have indeed had worse jobs. Now I don't even have a job, so I don't think I am better than the call centre staff or anything like that.

But, AIBU to really get irritated when call centre staff (and others, although IRL people don't really tend to need to call you by your name) call me by my first name, without even asking?

To me, if I saw the name "Senseof Entitlement" I would call the person Ms Entitlement, unless there was a specific title (Miss, Mrs, Dr, etc), in which case I would use that. If we got into a conversation, I might say "Do you mind if I call you Senseof?" but I certainly wouldn't just do it.

If someone asks if they can use my first name, I always say yes, but it is just polite to ask.

Obviously, if I write or speak to them first, and sign off with my first name, that is fine, and people in more informal settings/youth situations are different - ie I am involved with the youth section of a political organisation, and don't mind being called by my first name as everyone does it.

I just think that, in a customer situation, people should err on the side of politeness. Especially with things like banking, tax etc - where you need to trust in the professionalism of the organisation.

The same with medical staff, actually. I am sick of doctors doing that patronising smile at me and talking to me like a child. CHILDREN get first name in formal situations, adults get title surname until the adult says it is ok to use first name. If I went around calling doctors by their first name I would get called disrespectful - why can't I get the same courtesy?

AIBU?

YANBU. I particularly hate it when they overuse your first name. As a doctor, I also agree that doctors should not call you by your first name unless you ask them to do so. I only call young patients or those I really know well by their first names.

YANBU. When I trained as a nurse, we were taught to say Hello my name is KLU, I'll be caring for you.......................would you prefer me to call you Mrs Upstairs or is Kreecher OK.
On the whole, people are amenable to being called by their first name. If not, then you use the term they prefer.
I do find it funny though when DDs friends call me Mrs Upstairs.

I'm completely with you on this OP. I believe the same as you and always refer to people as Mr. smith until Im given permission to do otherwise. DP calls men 'sir'! I once had a cashier in Tescos hand back my bank card and said "there you go, Reeble" and I was a bit at him referring to me at all!

I prefer to be addressed by my first name in all situations. I don't really think that people in service occupations need to show me any kind of deferrental respect really.

I'm quite happy for children to use my first name too.

YANBU. I like strangers to be more formal. A first name is informal. Maybe I'm a little old school but I don't like informal strangers!

I agree. Someone from my pension group did this to me the other night. He wouldnt get off the phone even though he could hear my DC screaming in the background and I was muttering that I couldnt talk right now. I was trying to be polite because its wasnt exactly a cold call as such, but he then started saying ok I'll call you at 9pm to sign you up to the focus group. I never said I'd sign up to the s*dding focus group and stop saying my forename twice in every sentence. I told him that was too late, goodbye. No doubt he'll try again.

Should add, all my friends use my first name, as do their children, I'm nobodies aunty (until my sister starts her family) but not strangers.

As part of my opening spiel I ask 'can I take your name please'

Whatever they say is how I address them, if they say Jill, they get Jill
If they say mrs xx they get mrs xx
If they say something I miss or can not pronounce I say 'Thank you, my name is Kayano '

Makes a change from being just "DD's mum" or "DS's mum" ...

I'm a trainee teacher so really enjoying being Mrs L all day

Love the way they call me "madam" in John Lewis, said in a way only John Lewis can get away with.

YANBU. aldi I wouldn't think it's people in "service occupations" showing "deferential respect" - but if I don't know you, why would you call me Popcorn? Far too familiar. I am Mrs Mouse thankyouverymuch.

YANBU

DF is always called by his middle name. Most people who meet him socially probably don't even realise it isn't his first name.

However, my mum once answered the phone to someone calling from their insurance company asking to speak to [DF's first name]. She told him he had the wrong number, he insisted on checking the number with her, which was, of course, correct. It suddenly dawned on her that he meant DF and exclaimed "oh, that's my husband!"

Also drives me mad when they ask for my name, I say "Dr Turps" and they then call me "Mrs Turps" for the rest of the call.

Now I don't give a stuff whether people call me "Dr" or "Mrs" normally, but if you've just asked me my name AND you're trying to sell me something, at least get it right.

Damel - it isn't that they should be deferential - hence why I include doctors, who are massively more qualified, richer and more powerful than me.

It is just politeness. If I know my doctor is called Robert Winston, I don't walk in and say "Alreet Bob?", I say "Good Morning Dr Winston, how are you?" and I would expect him to say "I'm very well thank you Mrs Entitlement, and what brings you here today?"

It is a bit of a dance, but it establishes that you both are prepared to respect each other.

YANBU. An elderly friend of ours had this when she went to hospital. She'd always been called by a nickname by everyone who knew her (eg like Peggy for Margaret but not that one). But there they presumed to call her by her first name and used her real one rather than the one she actually went by. She was in her 80s and they obviously hadn't asked as she would have invited them to call her Peggy not Margaret. We mentioned it to her when visiting and she said she wished they'd call her Mrs X but it seemed rude to make a fuss. It wasn't her being rude IMO.

My doctor calls me Mrs Tattoo and I call him Doctor. That is as it should be I think. The nurses at our practice are always known as Nurse Firstname not sure why and that isn't just when dealing with children.

I also would prefer the bank or whoever to call me Mrs Tattoo. I'm not their friend or even colleague I'm their customer. Of course I'm polite and friendly but that's not the same thing.

I like being called by my first name ,I hate any stuffy formal stuff

It is the same in writing. I know my local MP socially, and we use first names when we meet at party social events etc.

If I write to her in her capacity as my MP, I still use the proper form of address, and she writes back to me using mine, because it is a formal situation.

YABU, if you don't want to be known by your name don't provide it to them.

Do you provide your name FFG? IME it's cold callers who are the most inappropriately 'matey' and I made no effort to give them my name, they buy it or go through the electoral roll or whatever entirely unprompted.

Oh, and don't get me started on nurses calling a ward full of fully grown women "girls"! Different issue, but it just shows such a lack of respect.

I get it mostly from my bank, who obviously know my name. But also had it from the tax office, from benefits people, doctors, the staff at the unit I deal with for my medical problems, and all sorts.

For some reason, it doesn't grate as much if they obviously have less power than me in the situation, but when it is someone who holds the key to me getting the money or treatment I need, it really really gets my goat.

It doesn't show a lack of respect unless you equate 'girls' as weak, sill and not worthy of respect.

It is definitely not about 'deference' for me - it is about a stranger calling me by my title as I would them.

"Girls" means children. "Women" is the adult word. Calling me a girl, unless in the most informal situations, means you see me as a child.