to be annoyed at being called by my first name?

[SenseofEntitlement]

First off, I have worked in call centres, and have indeed had worse jobs. Now I don't even have a job, so I don't think I am better than the call centre staff or anything like that.

But, AIBU to really get irritated when call centre staff (and others, although IRL people don't really tend to need to call you by your name) call me by my first name, without even asking?

To me, if I saw the name "Senseof Entitlement" I would call the person Ms Entitlement, unless there was a specific title (Miss, Mrs, Dr, etc), in which case I would use that. If we got into a conversation, I might say "Do you mind if I call you Senseof?" but I certainly wouldn't just do it.

If someone asks if they can use my first name, I always say yes, but it is just polite to ask.

Obviously, if I write or speak to them first, and sign off with my first name, that is fine, and people in more informal settings/youth situations are different - ie I am involved with the youth section of a political organisation, and don't mind being called by my first name as everyone does it.

I just think that, in a customer situation, people should err on the side of politeness. Especially with things like banking, tax etc - where you need to trust in the professionalism of the organisation.

The same with medical staff, actually. I am sick of doctors doing that patronising smile at me and talking to me like a child. CHILDREN get first name in formal situations, adults get title surname until the adult says it is ok to use first name. If I went around calling doctors by their first name I would get called disrespectful - why can't I get the same courtesy?

AIBU?

I prefer my first name plus either of my surnames without a title
as they never seem to know which name goes with Miss and which with Mrs

where my milk I accept I'm a grumpy old woman but when people in hospitals have asked "are you mum" - I have been known to reply "I have the full power of speech and my name is Mrs DH". Humph.

YANBU its gets on my tits to be honest.

I have no problem with people contacting me calling me by my first name when they actually know me. My consultant when copying me into letters always crosses outs Mrs LTF and writes dear learning but I have known him for years.

But when people who call who actually dont know me from adam call and say "hey is that learning?" like the bank (and its never the same person ever and they are trying to sell me something) then for me I feel its too personal. You can be friendly and polite but for a total stranger cold call me and use my first name feels intrusive. I have been known to correct the bank and say `yes thats my name at weekends but otherwise its Dame ltf' (if i am feeling particularly obtuse

I would however be the first to admit that this probably makes me terribly terribly old fashioned

I'm a nurse and I always introduce myself by my first name. I will always ask my patients what they would like me to call them and I would say that in almost every case they want to be called by their first name. The doctors I work with are the same and introduce themselves by their first names. The area I work in is a very working class area so I think that people don't appreciate all that formality, although the more middle class areas have been the same. I work with people who are dealing with difficult situations in their lives so I think they want things to be relaxed with the health care professionals involved in their care.

I was always called Sister by some of the Filipino nurses I worked with and it drove me mad - it sounded like I was a nun!

When I've been in hospital, I loved being called by my christian name by the nurses. Then the Drs. would do their rounds and be very formal.
I far prefer being addressed by my first name.
And what about all the employees that have to have their first name on their badges in retail etc.
They should equally have the choice to be called Mr., Mrs. Ms. if that's what they prefer.

My first name is my name
In my head that is me
My friends , family and even my kids call me that
(and note I dont say christian name)

But let it be known, in my mind I am curling my lip at those who patronise me
or "jolly me along" especially if you repeatedly MAKE A POINT OF USING MY NAME
y'know the ones who add " rats" at the end of every sentence like a full stop

as an aside
We always knew the staff who had read my mums notes when she was ill
her given, formal, name was much different to what she was known as
it was there in the notes name prefers to be known as ...

In Iceland the given first name is what everyone , even the prime minister and the president is known by
Its a cultural thing
( in Iceland your last name just defines who's son or daughter you are.)

if I were to have a title which I should be known as
I'll settle for She who must be obeyed

When I was dealing with clients I tended to address them quite formally and I let them be the first to suggest first names

I don't really mind if it's first names or Mrs / Dr, but don't like it if I'm expected to show deference to a Dr by calling them Dr X, but they call me by my first name. I think that's a bit of a put down

When my granny moved into a nursing home, they made a point of asking my Mum if granny would want to be Mrs X, or J. I thought that was respectful and considerate

It's an equality issue. If someone wants to use my first name I expect them to invite me to use their first name. I never expect to have to call someone Dr x, etc., if they think they can use my first name, especially without asking my permission first.

It's a permission thing I think. Once I get past introductions, then fine, use my first name, if I can use yours. One first name person and one title second name person implies a power inbalance and so should be very carefully used.
When you first meet someone, if they haven't introduced themselves or use their full name, then you either ask or use mr/ms surname. Usually I introduce myself by my first name, and most people call me that, but it is the presumption that offends.

As with so many things in life, context is all. New neighbours, then we're straight into first names. I'm Welsh, so use the Aunty moniker for neighbour's and friend's children - I think it's a lovely way to be respectful and familiar. Doctors, solicitors, any professional or medical staff - I am Mrs Butter until I feel comfortable otherwise. Maintaining a courteous and respectful relationship with medical professionals (and indeed other professionals) was hugely important when I was having my cancer treatment - you feel so vulnerable. With our vet, we are now on first name terms but again, I hope we are always respectful and courteous. She is always so with us. Cold callers - never get the chance to talk to us My rule of thumb is that if it is a social relationship, then first names are fine but for professional or business relationships I prefer my title/surname until we are both comfortable with first names.

YANBU

I like to be called Mrs Amerryscot by strangers and anyone on a formal footing. I will decide when they call me by my first name.

I had to write to the Head of Sixth Form about a petty reason for a detention for my son last week. She both called him by his diminutive (which I don't use and have never acknowledged at school - admittedly, out of the 500 people who know him, I am the only one who uses his full name), and addressed me as Dear firstname. Grrrr! Red mist but I gathered, calmed down and did not respond.

Reading this thread, I've realised I have no preferences whatsoever.

I like people using my first name and I'll use it back if they've provided theirs.
I don't mind being called Ms/Miss surname or Mrs marriedname even though I've never legally changed my name.
I love being called Aunty firstname by my nieces and nephews as well as all my friends kids.
I love that dh hardly ever uses my name and uses a term of endearment instead.

I didn't realise so many people were bothered by this.

georgie22 2 adaptation nurses who came to train over from India called me "sister (surname)" all the time...drove me mad! All the health professionals I know use thier first mane from Consutant Dr down to health care assistant, and the drs don't expect to be called dr so and so as a sign of deference and assumed seniority...times have moved on, mind you I work in childrens health so it's probably a bit more informal. You always get raised eyebrows amongst the team when when people insist on the "dr" bit as they sound v uppity. There are only a couple of people I know through work who insist on being "dr" and they're PhD drs.

I have a first name which no one can pronounce (even when I say in perfectly clear English what it is!) and they call me an entirely different name instead. It's very annoying anyway but when it gets overused (everyone thinks my name is Joanne - it isn't) "So, Joanne, can you tell us, Joanne, why you contacted us today, Joanne."

Grr.

I don't mind, because my full first name is longer and more formal than my day-to-day name. When cold-callers say, "Is that Helena?" rather than "Is that Lena?" I know they don't know me. I don't use my full first name except on forms.

I agree. Hate it when random people call me by first name.

Problem has got worse since inherited from DH a fucking fucker of a surname to pronounce.

My mother and her best friend always called each other by their surnames - Mrs Friday and Mrs Coffey - and that lasted for sixty years. They were known for this and a truer friendship would be harder to find.