to be annoyed at being called by my first name?

[SenseofEntitlement]

First off, I have worked in call centres, and have indeed had worse jobs. Now I don't even have a job, so I don't think I am better than the call centre staff or anything like that.

But, AIBU to really get irritated when call centre staff (and others, although IRL people don't really tend to need to call you by your name) call me by my first name, without even asking?

To me, if I saw the name "Senseof Entitlement" I would call the person Ms Entitlement, unless there was a specific title (Miss, Mrs, Dr, etc), in which case I would use that. If we got into a conversation, I might say "Do you mind if I call you Senseof?" but I certainly wouldn't just do it.

If someone asks if they can use my first name, I always say yes, but it is just polite to ask.

Obviously, if I write or speak to them first, and sign off with my first name, that is fine, and people in more informal settings/youth situations are different - ie I am involved with the youth section of a political organisation, and don't mind being called by my first name as everyone does it.

I just think that, in a customer situation, people should err on the side of politeness. Especially with things like banking, tax etc - where you need to trust in the professionalism of the organisation.

The same with medical staff, actually. I am sick of doctors doing that patronising smile at me and talking to me like a child. CHILDREN get first name in formal situations, adults get title surname until the adult says it is ok to use first name. If I went around calling doctors by their first name I would get called disrespectful - why can't I get the same courtesy?

AIBU?

itsatiggerday well cold callers who have obtained my name from some source have a whole different set of problems and the fact they're using a particular version of my name would be way down the list of complaints to them. The few cold callers who actually ever call are only the scam artists who just have the phone number, not had any who even knew my name in a long time. Presumably the TPS etc. is reasonably successful if other people are getting them?

YANBU. My surname is double-barelled and I understand its more of a more of a mouthful than 'Smith', but it's not hard to pronounce and is just respectful.

YANBU.

Whatever

Even "ladies" (which I don't like, but for much less important reasons) is fine. "People" would be great.

If someone is telling me I need to come to get my medication at x o clock, I feel patronised enough (even if it is needed, that balance of power is very obvious) without them addressing me in the same way they would a gang of children.

Although I think using "girls" to refer to women is creepy in other parts of life too, but that is a whole other thread.

God, you sound like a barrel of laughs OP

YADNBU. I don't mind people using my given name in a medical or similar situation but I do mind it being used with fake sincerity/chumminess by a cold caller, as if I somehow won't then twig that they're trying to sell me something for their, rather than my, benefit.

Had a call like that last week which turned into a pantomime, with me asking (sarcastically) as she was addressing me by my first name, 'Sorry, do I know you?' and her then speaking LOUDLY and s-l-o-w-l-y as she clearly thought I was a bit deaf/confused/doddery.

I am mid-40s. She knew this as she had my details in front of her

I think the way SOME people use first names (e.g. politicians talking to journalists) can be a real power thing, they know that Jon Snow or whoever isn't going to start calling the Chancellor "George" but he'll keep calling him "Jon" as often as possible to patronise him, like someone talking to a child. And likewise some people trying to sell you stuff do the same thing to make you subconsciously think they are your mate or something.

BUT most of the time using my first name is fine, it is MY NAME. To me my surname is just to identify which "Elephants" I am. I would certainly find it odd if the nurse doing my smear test referred to me as "Ms AndMiasmas" throughout - er, I think we've met? :D

But then my parents brought me up to call their friends/relatives by their first name - I would be mortified if my friend introduced me to their child as Ms AndMiasmas. Just because I'm bigger it doesn't mean that I'm more important. I am bolshy about these things though, years of waitressing and I managed to never call anyone "Sir" or "Madam" :D

I work in the service industry and have never called anyone sir or madam

YANBU. I am always, but always, called by my first name in every situation I can think of bar cold-callers etc BUT I get really annoyed by doctors expecting 'Dr X' and calling me 'Revolting' without asking.

My consultant calls me 'Revolting' though because he couldn't get his head around 'Ms' so I gave up and said 'Just Revolting please you obsolete old dingbat'.

It used to annoy me on aeroplanes that the Captain is always called 'Captain' but the rest of the crew by their first names.

I have a story about first names in doctor's medical centre but what got on my nerves recently was a couple of cold callers (double glazing). I opened the door and my DH was with me because we thought it was DC at the door. A grinning face stepped forward. "Hi! Guys!. How are you doing?" That did it for me. I said, "I am not a guy" and closed the door. I know that it's the 'fashion' these days but I refuse to be called a guy.

Anyway, we already have aluminium double glazing and I would never install plastic tat while I have what I have.

I'm with you OP - it drives me mad.
I don't do it, and I hate it when other people do it. I once got into a right strop with a snotty lecturer at university, he was incredibly rude to one of the other women on the course (we were both in our late 20s and by no means "kids") and then he tried to be rude to me. He asked my name and I said my surname, then he snapped "no your first name" and rolled his eyes so I just did the "I am irate but will be polite at all costs and enunciate this ve-ry ve-ry clearly for you" voice and said Mrs. all over again thinking about it now. One of my many pet peeves in life.

In a related vein, my grandfather was always known by a nickname which was unrelated to his first name - but was a name. Think real name Edward, known as Jack type thing.

When he was dying in hospital, the hospital staff kept referring to him as 'Edward'. This was a name that no one knew him by. It made my mother really upset to think that it would have accentuated the feeling that he was being cared for by strangers. If they'd stuck with 'Mr M' they wouldn't have caused that problem.

Often when we make phone calls to banks or somewhere we've ordered something from, we are asked questions so that a computer screen form can be filled in at the other end. I am asked for my first name because the computer at the other can go no further until that box has something in it. When I refuse to give my Christian name (yes,Christian name), I just give my initial. That is sufficient for the 'other end' purposes.

YABU

I really don't mind being called by my first name but would always refer to 'older' people as Mr or Mrs.

I really don't think respect or politeness hinge on whether or not someone calls you by your first name or not.

I don't mind my first name being used, however, my midwife was poorly on weds and I had a duty mw. She actually shortened my first name to make a nickname and used that throughout the appointment. I was a bit taken aback by that, especially since it is quite hard to do but I'm wasn't bothered really!

YANBU. It is (usually) about mutual respect, not deference or whatever. I'm not anunduly formal person, but I like to have some say over what I am called. I extend this to others, too - I'm a teracher and I never use shortened forms of pupils names, or nicknames, unless they invite me to do so.

I hate it too.
I hate call centre staff not asking if they can call me by my first name and doing so

• and I hate call centre staff asking because you feel you have to say yes.

Most of all I hate Santander call centre staff asking . I say no and they do it anyway.

When doctors (usually consultants) call me by my first name I don't object unless they start patronising me - in which case it's quite funny watching the reactions when you start using their first name back at them! Because obviously they can't object if they started it. :)

It is the way they say it.

I agree about call centre staff who say your first name 2-3 in a sentence.

My surename is very difficult though.

I personally find this a ridiculous thing to get annoyed about, which is why I don't. As long as someone speaks to me nicely on the phone and does what I need doing (if I'm the customer) then I couldn't give a rats behind if they refer to me by first name or last name..

I quite agree tidy.

"I personally find this a ridiculous thing to get annoyed about, which is why I don't. As long as someone speaks to me nicely on the phone and does what I need doing (if I'm the customer) then I couldn't give a rats behind if they refer to me by first name or last name.." agreed, i quite frankly dont care what people call me, tho i dont like being called mrs ....(dp's surname) cos that isnt my name!! we arent married, other than that call me my first name, my last name, hell some people call me by my middle name, i dont care!