to sit here literally pissing myself laughing

[SirCliffRichardSucksEggsInHell]

at something Custy posted on facebook?

Here is the link but warning: I laughed so much I very nearly barfed! That much laughing cannot be good for you?

The shit in the bathroom caused me the most physical pain.

I don't care if they are made up.

another well deserved bump for those just in from school run.

You say all made up - I genuinely did send the mother of a client (I work with young people) a text that read 'Thank you for HIV'.

That, and that only. Bloody phone corrected 'giving' to 'HIV' and somehow, I may possibly have been distracted by imminent redundancy, I pressed 'send' rather than 'delete'.

I sat there watching the green line going across the screen screeching 'Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!'. I sent a very, very apologetic text straight after.

Reader, I did not get a response (from either client or mother).

link wont work for me.

I love this - sadly it's blocked at work but my favourite from the site is the one that's something like:

Dad: "Guess what?"
Daughter: "What?"
Dad: "Your mother and I are going to divorce!!!"
Daughter: "What?"
"Call me"
"Shit dad, what's going on, I need to speak to you about this."

Dad: "DISNEYLAND. Your mother and I are going to disneyland for the holidays."

And my friend sent a text to about 20 of our mates telling them that he and I were going for "a walk by the semen" and asking them to join us.

Needless to say, we weren't.

MinnieBar

and silent shaking @ walk by the semen

Well I almost managed to tell people don't forget to reset their cocks instead of clocks so can well believe it

Loved the gay steamroller Trills.

I recently typed an assignment on the duchess of malfi on my iPad, every time I typed bosola it autocorrected to bosoms!

I'm with 33 on this. Maybe it's a genetic lack of sense of humour but those just weren't funny. DYAC isn't - I find it mildly amusing at the best of times.

The fridge with religion thread, now that was hilarious.

Ducking autocorrect will forever more be known in this house as ducking auto cucumber!!

So so funny crying with laughter !!

Not true that they're all made up shiney!

I submitted one and it is there, in all it's glory. My son has submitted one this week which I am fully expecting to see published in the next couple of weeks.

link won't work for me, but Jareth, they are funny. Terrible, but funny

I loved it!

Aargh so brilliant. I am crying at "can't wait to see your big beautiful nipples" and the lovely "fuckweasel" coloured dress.

Oh and "Jesus, Mary and Jerome" - just imagine bearded chap in sky booming "who the hell is this Jerome?"

Thank you. I laughed so much dd2 (nearly 2) thought I was crying and was cuddling mexsaying "poor mummy". Priceless.

I don't think the are made up. Certainly the linked WhySiriWhy ones aren't because Ive done some of those. (and he now calls me Supreme commander)

Shitting Henry! I'm not half way through and crying and choking at the same time!

We were laughing so hard one of our dd's has just come to ask us to keep it down a bit ... she's trying to sleep!

I am so bad at texting I have my own fb album of these

"I'm cleaning out Mum's vagina for Thanksgiving"

God help me - I'm in so much pain!!!