Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask you about your sex lives...

46 replies

Iwantababynow · 01/12/2011 21:11

I really want to please my partner in the bed room, he would never tell me im not doing it good enough, but we are not that creative.

Ive been married 1 year now but was a virgin till the night of our wedding.

so what Im asking is how do you do it, and in detail... cause I dont know how to, I have never watched porn.

So which positions are easy but good, where should i touch and how/where to lick/ suck.

this is not a joke thread, thanks for your help.

OP posts:
Kayano · 01/12/2011 21:13

It's not quite Friday Wink

I would say download and watch some stuff but I would be flamed

LeBOF · 01/12/2011 21:13

YABU, yes.

northernwreck · 01/12/2011 21:15

Buy The Joy of Sex sonny.

JingleBellsTootaSmells · 01/12/2011 21:18

What would you like me to do first? Wink

Malificence · 01/12/2011 21:19

Buy the Lovers' guide DVD box set, or watch it on their website the only thing you'll learn from porn is how to have crap sex and you'll never get pregnant by having "porn" sex either Wink.

ChistmasElfy · 01/12/2011 21:22

I bought my husband the karma sutra for a joke birthday present - we have had much fun trying new positions and enjoying each other more.

Often said, and little done, but talk to each other, tell him if there are things he does that you don't like and ask him to be honest too. It does lead to much more fun if a little embarrassing at first

topknob · 01/12/2011 21:24

Get on top and fuck him senseless :)

EleanorRathbone · 01/12/2011 21:25

Oh FGS get on with your homework.

eurochick · 01/12/2011 21:28

Do NOT watch porn to learn about sex.

Porn is to sex as to Eastenders is to the real East End.

samwellsbutt · 01/12/2011 21:29

buy the game monogamy from ann summers lots of fun there.

MenopausalHaze · 01/12/2011 21:30

this is not a joke thread

Oh g'wan - and next you'll be telling us you're not a bored spotty teenager with a pencil dick!

G'wan with you!

RealityIsADistantMemory · 01/12/2011 21:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Malificence · 01/12/2011 21:34

Shall I provide him her with the link to the lovehoney forums?

On second thought best not, I don't want to be responsible for death by wanking overdose!

FabbyChic · 01/12/2011 21:36

Read some erotica, you can buy it on Amazon.

picnicbasketcase · 01/12/2011 21:36

You need to learn about sexual technics.

SantasStrapon · 01/12/2011 21:36

Would keep him her busy though, Mal.

floweryblue · 01/12/2011 21:42

OP sounds like a 'I've got £10million to give you' type email.

If you are genuine OP, you need to learn to communicate properly. Then you will find it easier to talk to your partner and easier to ask for advice if things are not going well.

EricNorthmansMistress · 01/12/2011 21:42

Oh go on with you. Who on earth gets their kicks from getting mums to describe their sex lives? Oh...ew.

Samwellsbutt..... You have to be...you are, aren't you?

JeremyVile · 01/12/2011 21:50

I dont know why people are taking the piss. Its a straight forward question fgs.

Op- i think you need to take things slowly, get the basics right and everything else will fall into place.

A simple exercise for you and your dh: take his index finger and slowly close your lips around it, rollyour tongue over its length...get it really wet. Tell him to take that wet finger and push it, slowly slowly, into you ear. Urge him to gently 'pump' away at your canal until you are both fully satisfied by the activity.

samwellsbutt · 01/12/2011 21:52

are what?

samwellsbutt · 01/12/2011 21:53

what what?

tethersjinglebellend · 01/12/2011 21:54

Ask him to pull your nightie down when he's finished.

butterflyexperience · 01/12/2011 22:09

@jeremyvile. Hahahaha Grin

LeBOF · 01/12/2011 22:19

That turned me on a bit, Jeremy...

Original poster
Iwantababynow · 01/12/2011 22:21

Im not a guy, I just dont know who else to ask, and I want to be a good wife for my husband. Thanks to those who took me seriously.

I DONT want to watch porn because i know im not that bendy and it is fake, but I do want to learn, im not asking for every detail, just the things that make your sex life special or, good i guess, now i feel stupid :(

OP posts: