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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

.. to NEVER wash DD's hair...

432 replies

GoTheFkToSleep · 29/11/2011 18:47

She's 5. She hates it, I hate it and two days later its looks the same as before. I think I last washed it about 6 months ago. I do bath the child once a month whether she needs it or not every few days, and she goes swimming every now and then but I am not sure that counts as she won't get in the pool showers. There must be a mild disinfectant effect of the chlorine tho??

OP posts:
baskingseals · 30/11/2011 08:15

agree totally with prettycandles.
get a grip guys

op YANBU at all.

Original poster
GoTheFkToSleep · 30/11/2011 08:15

:) Pretty Candles - I have posted a more serious post on the clothes thing under my alter ego: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/behaviour_development/1132942-Clothes-phobia-Aaargh-Will-she-grow-out-of-it-eventually/AllOnOnePage

Going to need a new alter ego now Grin

TBH the hair thing is the one thing I don't actually worry about about my DD

This was just for fun (laugh or u will cry) and I have enjoyed the righteous outrage from some

Chandon - I wish I had some answers but I don't. If you google sensory processing disorder it will all look very familiar. You can get it diagnosed - but we haven't gone down that route with DD

OP posts:
ScroobiousPip · 30/11/2011 08:19

There's no need to wash hair - it will self cleanse. It's only when you start to wash with shampoo and strip away the natural oils that you have to keep that regime up. Personally, I'd leave her hair for now, OP. As she grows up, she may well feel differently anyway and it may well be easier to raise when she is a little older.

But you need to sort out the knickers/not wearing regulation PE kit because it's likely that won't be tolerated at senior school. If she doesn't like knicker elastic round her waist, could she wear a body (leotard thing) as underwear? Or loose boxers?

Vicki1981 · 30/11/2011 08:20

You know you can go without washing hair. It's quite a modern thing, really. After a whole the oils start to clean the hair naturally and probably leaves it in a better condition than those of us who wash the oils out all the time.

ScroobiousPip · 30/11/2011 08:20

Sorry, x posts!

worldgonecrazy · 30/11/2011 08:24

Ditto to what scoobious and Vicki said. I don't wash DD's hair because I don't want to get into the whole shampoo/conditioner rip off. When she is older and starts styling her hair with products which build up, then she can wash her hair, but for now I don't bother. Not because she doesn't like it, but because she doesn't need it.

BarmyBiscuit · 30/11/2011 08:26

They did a test on TV and it showed that for two weeks it would get greasy but after that it would self clean. You do have to rinse it though.

belgo · 30/11/2011 08:27

'You know you can go without washing hair. It's quite a modern thing, really. After a whole the oils start to clean the hair naturally and probably leaves it in a better condition than those of us who wash the oils out all the time.'

the problem with this theory is that it is totally irrelevant in our towns and cities with pollution. And it is even more irrelevant if you go swimming in a chlorinated children's swimming pool which is just swarming with lovely bugs and bacteria.

EmmaRoyd · 30/11/2011 11:42

I've been thinking about this since yesterday (when I posted to say I also don't wash DD's hair) and this morning, just to check I'm not mad or deluded I sniffed DD's head and I PROMISE you it smelt of nothing at all. Her hair is fine and has a tendency to be flyaway if anything but it's not the slightest bit greasy and gets brushed everyday.

Everyone who is saying the OP's child must smell is basing that on what their own DC's head would smell like if it was unwashed, because if you suddenly stop washing hair then it gets greasy and stinks! If you've never really washed it,its really true it does self clean.

I'm reserving judgement on the pants and clothes issue. Just giving my twopenneth about the hair Smile

theworldaccordingtome · 30/11/2011 11:47

When I was a child I HATED certain clothes like socks and jeans, would only have baths and not showers and was (and still am) hypersensitive to loud noise.
With the exception of the noise thing my parents MADE me wash when I was supposed to and dress correctly for school (weekends were more leniant). And I'm very glad they did. I would not have thanked them as an adult for letting me not wash my hair or dress appropriatly. I hated it at the time and I bet they went through hell with shouting and tantrums but I thank them now for the way they brought me up.
As an aside the nits liking clean hair was and remains a myth put about by schools to stop kids and parents being singled out. The reality of it is OP that you are selfish and irresponsible for not cleaning and thoroghly checking your child's hair on a regular basis, she could (and note the use of could not IS as I do not know you personally) be passing nits and other such nasties on to classmates.

MidsomerM · 30/11/2011 12:21

I'm still baffled by some people's casual attitude to personal hygeine on here.

Hairwashing aside, children need regular baths/showers, and by that I mean more than every few days.

Children sweat, and even pre-pubertal sweat smells if it's not washed off. Children don't wipe themselves properly when they wee, and boys let little drips run down their legs. Wee smells when it's not washed off. They get muddy, and that smells too.

In this day and age, I don't understand how anyone can choose not to have a daily wash, given that we pretty much all have hot running water.

As a GP I examine people all day, and many of them smell. I just don't understand why people choose to be like that.

MidsomerM · 30/11/2011 12:22

And before anyone jumps down my throat, I'm not talking about people who do wash but have genuine BO problems, or disabilities making washing difficult.

marge2 · 30/11/2011 12:30

EEEeeew. Get a grip OP. Grow a pair and wash and dress your child properly for Gods sake. No socks or pants? What happens when she changes for PE? No clean hair. Your kid will be teased! People WILL be talking about you in the playground you know that?

Bonsoir · 30/11/2011 12:39

"As a GP I examine people all day, and many of them smell. I just don't understand why people choose to be like that."

I have every sympathy, MidsomerM. But I also think that there is a culture in the UK of poor personal hygiene and poor domestic hygiene that needs addressing by doctors. Here in France if you go to the doctor you will often be told that the issue is fundamentally one of hygiene!

AitchTwoOh · 30/11/2011 12:41

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeuw, bonsoir, what symptoms have you had that have turned out to be poor hygiene? Grin

Bonsoir · 30/11/2011 12:43

Not me personally Grin but it happens over and over again to the DSSs! We tell them that the issue is poor personal hygiene > they don't listen > problem gets worse > we take them to the doctor > antibiotics and strong admonitions to wash more!!!

AitchTwoOh · 30/11/2011 12:45

bleurgh. Grin

AntiqueAnteater · 30/11/2011 14:01

In this day and age, I don't understand how anyone can choose not to have a daily wash, given that we pretty much all have hot running water.

cos it takes important time away from mumsnet innit!

worldgonecrazy · 30/11/2011 14:18

I think some posters are confusing personal hygiene and hair washing. My DD has several baths a week - not always every day but most days, so she is clean. However, she does not need her hair wash because it stays clean all by itself, just a rinse with water to get the dust out and that's it. She has beautiful hair too.

EmmaRoyd · 30/11/2011 15:38

same here worldgonecrazy.

Ticklemonster2 · 30/11/2011 15:52

My son has his hair washed every day and has a bath every day. He doesn't really like having his hair washed much, but tough. I'm teaching him good hygiene and how to care for himself when he is older.
It's not for me to say you are unreasonable, but it's not something I would be letting my son get away with. Where will it end? Children need to accept they can't always do what they want. It's a reality of life I'm afraid and I prefer to prepare my son for that now as opposed to shocking him later!
Children do pick up on uncleanliness and it could lose her friend. I doubt you would want that for her - give it a wash x

Tortington · 30/11/2011 15:55

what kindd of world would be live in if we were allowed to just do what we felt like becuase the other stuff made us upset/angry/we didn't want to do it.

i think you have to think of the function of a parent. you ultimate job is to raise a functioning member of society, not some spoilt little shit.

talkingnonsense · 30/11/2011 15:59

I don't think you need to use shampoo- look at all the curly girl co washers, but give it a good rinse and scrub the scalp with your fingers. Add a little conditioner if it's tangly.

Feminine · 30/11/2011 16:19

custardo uncalled for.

In my family (extended) there have been some "spoilt little shits" Confused

You know what? they all grew up fine...

They are all productive members of society.

You post smacks of a very small mind!

sometimes we have to work with our kids ...most of the time they turn out fine.

CarefullyAirbrushedPotato · 30/11/2011 16:21

I think it's very amusing that people think it's more healthy to wear tight modern knickers than not. Do you all sleep in panties to prevent the nasty fresh air getting to your bits?