Daughter age 6 wants to be vegetarian...think I may be BU?

[SnakePlisskensMum]

This is my first AIBU, I'm a long time lurker but I genuinely need help with this one please.
As a family we eat meat approx. four times a week and always enjoy a roast dinner together on a Sunday. I have always been totally open with the kids about what they are eating, where it comes from etc. We shop at the local farm shop whenever we can so they have seen the animals wandering about and understand that they are what ends up on their plate.

My DD (6) is a complete animal fanatic and as such has said that she doesn't want meat anymore. I can sympathise with her as I have half-heartedly considered vegetarianism on occasion. I cook for all four of us and do not want to make special meals for a 6 year old. I've told her that she will have to eat the same as us until she is old enough to have an opinion. Obviously this would be different if she had any allergies or intolerances but she hasn't.

My husband comes home late in the week so often I make two meals and do not want another complication thrown into the mix. However, I'm not sure if I'm being fair to her to make her eat something she has clearly said she doesn't want because of her beliefs (albeit a 6 year olds) which may/will probably change at the drop of a hat. If she was a teen it would be a different proposition and I would assume it was more considered, IYSWIM?
Please tell me, AIBU? I'm quite prepared to accept I am.

Another vote for letting her decide. I made the decision to stop eating meat at the age of 5 though the rest of my family were meat eaters and have not yet changed my mind (aged 32). However I was only allowed to do this as I agreed to keep eating fish, which must have made cooking a little easier.

When my son said that he wanted to become veggie for ethical reasons at 3 I made sure he understood what that meant and supported his decision. It turned out that he was ok with fish so I replaced a lot of meat meals with fish or veggie ones. I tried a lot of veggie food to find out what tasted good and went with it.
It was hard learning how to read food labels and spotting animal products like gelatin but ds was adamant so I was fine with that.

For roasts I'd do a couple of veggie sausages and for meals like meatballs we swapped to Quorn etc.

Funny how threads like this can make you crave certain foods. Part of the lovely squash I bought at the weekend ended up in a great big pot of veggie chilli which DH and I enjoyed with a great big handful of grated cheese. (DS2 had a fishcake and DS1 fish fingers!)

I am a vegetarian and it takes effort to have a balanced diet. I use tofu, but don't go for quorn, veggie sausages or cheese. I find the first two too processed and cheese is heavy and hard to digest.

Preparing veggies takes time, much more so than meat (DH just bungs his slab in the oven). I try to get a weekly dose of bok choy, zucchini, broccoli, brussel sprouts, carrots, beetroot, spinach etc etc, so as to get a range of nutrients. Plus daals, beans, yougurt and nuts for protein. I season my food asian and mediterranean style, so the flavour comes from garlic, ginger, chillies and herbs, rather than butter, cream or cheese.

It usually takes me an hour to get a veggie meal prepared from start to end, with me really 'on it', chopping, stirring etc. I can do hubbies meat ones in less time and most of it is in the oven anyway, with sporadic oversight on my part.

So totally get your concern OP, it will be a big commitment.

I agree with flatbread and if I was doing it I would do it properly, I can't think why anyone wants a veggie sausage or similar. I would be cooking from scratch and therefore I would give her a time scale-to check it wasn't a sudden, shortlived whim.

I've been vegetarian since around your daughter's age. For a while my parents refused to let me be vege- my dad would force feed me meat . I think you need to give your daughter the space and time to make her own decisions, help her develop her own unique world view and her place in it. If she is animal mad (like I am) she probably always will be. Her experiences at this age may yet decide what she what to do when she grows up and this should be nurtured. I know it sounds mad, but for example many scientists decided on their career through being animal lovers ( and also David Attenborough helped). Many conservationists, ecologists, people concerned with world food availability etc are also long-term vegetarians.

If she's curious about vegetarianism, you could educate her about it properly. Research foods that are really beneficial for veges- spinach, avocados, eggs, pulses, nuts etc. It really isn't difficult to accommodate a vegetarian-especially with all the new protein alternatives available now in shops.

As soon as I understood what meat was I did not want to eat it (probably about age 4). My parents totally ignored my wishes and made me eat meat against my will apart from on my birthday when I was allowed not to have it. I was disgusted by every meal and now have considerable issues with food. By the time I was 14 my parents realised I was really serious about my beliefs and allowed me to cook for myself. I have been a vegetarian ever since.

Please, please, please respect your daughter's request. If it passes in a month or so that is fine. If not you are helping her to build her own moral code which is a crucial part of her development.

The idea that she should have to eat meat because the men in the family really want to have it doesn't wash with me. She has actually chosen the healthier and more environmentally friendly route. Be tolerant and cook the MEN their meat a couple of times a week and otherwise all eat vegetarian meals together. I am sure you wouldn't make her eat chocolate or a muffin because the boys really liked to eat them.

The very fact you are asking the question and concerned about making her eat meat shows that it doesn't rest well with you either and that you are a considerate mother. Please let her make this decision and see what happens.

I can't think why anyone wants a veggie sausage or similar

Because they taste frigging delicious smothered in English mustard in a big crunchy granary roll.

I dread having a child who did this, mainly because of the cost.
Em... a vegetarian diet works out MUCH cheaper than a meat-eating one!!!
OP, if your daughter has been saying this for over a month, maybe it is time to give it a go? As you already eat vegetarian meals 3-4 times a week as a family, it's not going to be that much of a leap is it?

YABU

Your daughter is a credit to you. Help her do what she believes to be the right thing.

At six my ds had strong feelings about not wanting to eat meat, despite loving sausages and bacon. Actually loving meat. He just didn't want to eat animals.

So he was vegetarian. For about a year. Then went back to eating meat with a vengeance.

I'm really proud that he had an opinion and was prepared to go without something he liked because of his principles.

Meant to add, I managed ds going vegetarian by cooking more vegetarian meals for the whole family. If DH got meat hungry I'd get him something, but the rest of us simply ate more veg and dairy.

in my household, we cook the main meal and then if DH wants meat, he'll add it separately.
It works for us.

Doesn't work too well if they are all meat eaters and one doesn't want it, nickelbabe.

I'm sure someone has said this, but you could get tins of lentils and beans and divide them up into portions and freeze them, and for any meals with a sauce or mince or whatever, just keep your dd's portion of sauce without the meat separate and add a portion of lentils/beans. The freezer is your friend OP, you could make batches of a meal for your dd, say a veggie shepherd's pie with red lentils in, or lasagne or chilli and freeze portions.

Tofu is also quick and easy - mash it up and add it to your sauce instead of mince.

flatbread what are you cooking?! I have to say I admire you.... I cook veggie and it takes about 15-30 minutes start to finish!

(DH veggie, I'm not, kids aren't, but I always cook veggie and if it's meat - only on Wednesdays - I just do a veggie thing at the same time as the meat.)

Have to say... I feel pretty proud of my speed cooking skills - but I'm sure you're doing things that are way more adventurous than me!

My dd was about 3 when she found out 'where meat comes from' she is now 10 & has not eaten meat since.. I don't find it any hassle cooking 'separate meals'

My OH and I have discussed this at great lengths since he is a vegetarian (due to his beliefs on animal rights) and I am not. We have both agreed that the best thing to do would be to maintain a meat diet until she is grown to ensure she has a good diet to grow with. My OH wasn't a veggie until he was in his early 20s. If this comes up with our DD (and we expect it will) we will explain this to her and she has the choice when she is older.

Does your DD eat everything else?
I have a veggi DSIL and a Jewish BF (treat as fish eating veggi please). They are no trouble at all because they like almost everything. So beans, lentils, nuts and any kind of veg is fine.
Non mushroom liking DBIL is a bit harder and their Veggi young DC harder still.
My DD2 would be impossible because she is such a fuss pot.

I wouldn't take any notice of a 3 yr old-she is too young to understand all the implications. 6 yrs is about the earliest.

1Catherine1 I'm really surprised that your dh thinks a meat diet is the only healthy one for a child, if he is a committed vegetarian. Plenty of healthy veggie children around (my own included )

Why don't you freeze veggie food from the other week nights and defrost for your dd, not much extra effort if that is your main objection.

I think you are doing the correct thing by indicating she will have to eat the same meal you prepare for all the family. I do not think at 6, or even at 10 or 12 a child should be allowed to make such extreme choices about nutrition, or other health, education, or even entertainment matters. I think to compromise you could introduce the concept of food and animals which are grown organically and slaughtered in a manner that is less stressful/more humane. This is the concept used for Kosher and Halal foods.

Also, at this age children are fickle...today she might be a vegetarian, tomorrow she might not be... As a parent you should not feel guilty over making the correct choice for your child at the present time. If in the very long future this is something she feels strongly about, then you will cross that bridge when it comes to it.

Chocolate, I would love to say I make fancy dishes, but really, very simple stuff.

For example, I made a lentil soup and pita pockets stuffed with mixed veggies

So, wash lentils, chop garlic, celery, tomato. Put on gas. Add herbs and spices.

While soup is cooking, peel and chop onion. Wash and scrape zucchini, dice finely. Wash and dice mushrooms and broccoli. Same with garlic, fresh chillies. Cook onion, add veggies and garlic etc. Add tofu and scramble together.

Then for the topping, finely chop tomatoes and finely shred spinach. Grate carrots and perhaps a bit of cheese as well. And, oh, fresh mixed herbs (basil, cilantro, parsley, whatever is at hand)

Then, lightly blend the soup. Then warm the pitta bread, fill with mix and finish with the toppings.

For DH, put fish on a foil, pour olive oil and a drizzle of pepper. Bung in the oven. After 10 minutes, serve with a sprinkle of salt and a slice of lemon and buttered rye bread. That is it!