bit upset today, that pil are going abroad when our twins are due, and we have dd1 too

[CarrieInAnotherTWOBabiTWINS]

i'm a bit upset today as mil has just told me they are going to italy start of july, the twins are due 28th june.
just worried about how we will cope with dd who will be 5, if i'm in the hospital with the twins

you've got bags of time at least to get something sorted, is DD at school? I am sure that friends will help you out with DD if you are in hospital.. it might be you deliver early and it won't be an issue? It is a shame they might miss seeing the twins as they are born, I suppose it also depends how close you are generally and if you had discussed anything with them wrt to helping out with DD?

Will your dh not be there to help with your 5 year old?

Tbh i can understand you are upset, it is nice to have people around to help when you need them. Of course they are entitled to do what they want but i cant imagine going away if one of my children was due a baby (or two!) and needed help.

You've only just found out! They might have been planning this trip for a while

they haven't booked it yet, i'm just worried about dh trying to run himself ragged.
suppose its just not something i do if one of my children was having a baby let alone twins.
one of the main problems will be we won't really know when they the twins coming.
theres a good chance it will be early as i think the stats are more than half twins arrive early, and nearly half end up in scbu, so we have a strong possibilty that me and the twins could be in hospital for sometime.

i'm suffering with hyeremesis atm so i may not be thinkikng straight

Do you rely heavily on them now?

not especially, just worried about dd1, the twins, dh and me.

Don't usually end up on the side of the ILs in these situations but in this case I am. Your children are your responsibility, no one elses and you can't expect other people to run their lives around you, sorry.

Yanbu.

With twins surely it's highly unlikely you will go overdue? Hopefully everything works out and you are all at home and happy as a family by then.

Its hard to expect other people to rearrange things on the chance you may be in hopsital and you can't know when things will happen.

YANBU to feel upset, but as PandaNot says, the children are your responsibility. You've got ages to sort out alternative childcare that may be needed for DD. If you're in hospital DH will have to look after DD if no-one else is available.

On what you've said there about half of twins arriving early, and half of those ending up in SCBU, that means that 75% of twins don't need to go in there - so there's actually a VERY good chance you and the babies won't be in hospital for some time.

My in laws did this and we coped just fine. Granted we only had DD (aged 2) and newborn DS and not twins but it was fine. And they had planned it ages after they knew we were expecting DS. But thats my MIL all over.

Do you get on well with your PILs?

Have you involved them in your pregnancy so far?

No way will you be overdue,38 weeks is the norm/goal for a twin c/s or it was when I was pg with my twins.

I hear you re the worry,you do crap yourself when you plan ahead with twins.To be frank I do think it's time when family need to rally round.When my dsis had her twins I think my mum did a week,mil did a week then I came for a few days.

Say you're crapping yourself then beg her to get involved with an itinery accomodating her holiday.

but wasn't their trip discussed some time ago , even if not booked, adn you held back form committing because you were ttc. So there was always a chance that this would coincide. Your dh will presumably take timeoff to be able to take dd to school then come to visit you in hospital if needs be. That would be the case with one baby or two. You'll cope , honestly !

did you discuss the timing of the conception with them to see if they were available?

if not, yes you are being unreasonable to think they should live their lives around your possible timetable

no i think its 50% of twins that end up in scbu.

get on quite well with them and have tried to invlove them and include them as much as possible.

Do they live very local?

Everyone that I know with twins had them early. I doubt whether you will go beyond 38weeks.

What odd, uninterested grandparents.
Sound like my family.

no im not worred about the twins arriving late, i realised they are likely to be bornby 38 weeks, probably before, but i am worried they may be ill/ have complications.
and may be in hospital a while

Has she mentioned it now hoping you may ask her to helP? Maybe they don't think they needed?

I'd be sad if my mum away but not too bothered about in laws :0

yes they are local.

Make a plan A, B and C and call on your friends as back-up.

Have a middle-of-the-night option where you could drop off DD1 at a friends house for a sleepover, a school friend would be best if a school night then they can go off to school together.