bit upset today, that pil are going abroad when our twins are due, and we have dd1 too

[CarrieInAnotherTWOBabiTWINS]

i'm a bit upset today as mil has just told me they are going to italy start of july, the twins are due 28th june.
just worried about how we will cope with dd who will be 5, if i'm in the hospital with the twins

I don't think them wanting a holiday a month after they are born is any indication of how supportive they are.

My parents are about as supportive as parents possibly could be but I would never resent them a holiday. DS has been in and out of hospital a lot but it would be wrong of me to tell them they couldn't go away because I may need them!

I wouldn't dream of telling my parents that they couldn't go away, but they would definitely not choose to go away so soon after twins were due and I wouldn't do that to my DD or DS if I was in that situation.

Hire an au pair or daily nanny to cover the time the PILs will be away.

I don't think that hiring a daily nanny is affordable for many people and au pairs don't come by the week.

I was blimmin furious when my in-laws booked a holiday close by, to coincide with my first child's due date. I had horrible visions of them hanging around the hospital while I was in labour, or turning up at visiting time the next day. So, I was thrilled when my baby was two weeks overdue, and I had room to breathe and just be with my new little family. They were able to come back down again a few weeks later, which was better for me. Even in your circumstances, I think I would prefer to make my own arrangements rather than rely on my in-laws. It' s your family, and you will be fine. And your in-laws deserve their holiday, don't they?

OP - I can understand you feeling a bit confused that they seem disinterested and seemingly not very interested in lending a hand. How disappointing.

Do you think they are worried about interfering and wanting to give you space maybe?

I think there are two fairly likely scenarios:

either they will be born very early and need SCBU- but that will be weeks if not months before your ILs go off anyway

or they will be born just a little early/not early at all and not need SCBU- and your ILs will still have time to help out around the birth before they go off

the reason for your panic is that you are confusing the two scenarios and visualising weeks and weeks of SCBU around the time of your due date