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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

benefits

289 replies

clairec1 · 29/11/2011 15:16

hi there, im a mum of 4 and one on the way, the father to my unborn child is also the father of my youngest, and a few weeks back we sat down and talked and we agreed on giving a relationship ago but im worried if this will affected my benefits i get, income support, child benefit and child tax credit but he doesnt live with me he lives at his parents house where he pays his bills etc............ Thanks for any advice

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 29/11/2011 17:07

IF he moves in she will get more money

MrSpoc · 29/11/2011 17:08

i love that fact that lots of people on here, who are on benefits themselves need to justify there own lifes due to this one Op.

Can you not see Op has come here to cheat the system. She is prepared to cheat the system in order to get more money rather than live with her "partner" "fuck buddy" or what ever she wants to call him.

Also in case you missed it.
She has 4 kids. The first is her "partners" and also the one that she is pregnant with is also his.

Stop thinking about money and start thinking about how you would support your kids.

maypole1 · 29/11/2011 17:08

Dawndonna please pass the humous and the guardian now were ed and gordon

usualsuspect · 29/11/2011 17:09

She will get more money if he moves in ,so how is she cheating the system?

maypole1 · 29/11/2011 17:10

Mrspoc 4 I only thought she had 2 so it's worse than what we first thought.

And January every one we all know its coming enjoy while you can

WhoseGotMySquirrelsEyebrows · 29/11/2011 17:11

No Spoc The youngest is his, not the first.

Moominsarescary · 29/11/2011 17:12

Why do people think that those on benifits are better off than those who work and earn too much to be entitled to help?

mrspok op would get more if he moved in as he also lost his job recently, and before you start I'm not on benifits.

Dawndonna · 29/11/2011 17:12

Can't afford it, Maypole I'm on benefits. I work an 18 hour day for 55 quid a week. No point in passing the Guardian, the standard of writing is probably a bit above your comprehension levels.
I suggest you go back to the obfuscatory Daily Fail.

usualsuspect · 29/11/2011 17:12

If he lives at his parents he would be entitled to jsa only

so how is she cheating the system?

wifey6 · 29/11/2011 17:13

I might have missed something...but what is happening in January please?

PlentyOfPubeGardens · 29/11/2011 17:13

No he's the father of the youngest.

How many times is she allowed to see him before she should be forced to live with him again? Do you believe people on benefits should not be allowed to date?

MrSpoc · 29/11/2011 17:14

As i said on my first post before it was deleated. (not sure why)

I said she should think of the kids about giving them a security of a united family instead of worry about loosing benefits.

tethersend · 29/11/2011 17:14

If it helps OP, you can have my hard-earned tax money. Can someone else use theirs for Trident, because I don't really want to pay for that?

Because that's how it works, right?

MrSpoc · 29/11/2011 17:15

PlentyOfPubeGardensTue - Normal people when they date take precautions but if them precautions fail, they face up to their responsibilities and provide for them. Not worry about benefits being cut. Or should i say being uped cause she has got her self up the duff again.

DeckTheHugeWithBoughsOfManatee · 29/11/2011 17:17

Lots of people manage to date without getting pregnant willy-nilly.

Moominsarescary · 29/11/2011 17:19

She was working and they were together when she got pg, so realy what you are saying is people should stay together and live in the same house regardless of fighting/abuse or any other problems because they should be a united family

Fuck me I've heard it all now

tethersend · 29/11/2011 17:19

I thought doing it willy-nilly meant you couldn't get pregnant Shock

Dawndonna · 29/11/2011 17:21

And some don't. That's life. The fact is, that she is in this predicament now.
She is still a lone parent. She is trying to do the right thing, eg. Offering the kids some security, whilst carefully and slowly working on the relationship. What's the point in them getting back together before they've worked out their differences, as she says, it'll just upset the children again.

PlentyOfPubeGardens · 29/11/2011 17:22

They weren't dating when she got pregnant, they were together. And working.

flatbread · 29/11/2011 17:24

She was working and they were together when she got pg*

Where does OP say she was working when she got pregnant with dc 5? I understood that she had worked sometime in the past...could be before dc1. In which case she has behaved irresponsibly having child after child while on benefits.

flatbread · 29/11/2011 17:25

She was working and they were together when she got pg

Where does OP say she was working when she got pregnant with dc 5? I understood that she had worked sometime in the past...could be before dc1. In which case she has behaved irresponsibly having child after child while on benefits.

Moominsarescary · 29/11/2011 17:26

plentyofpubes I think were repeating ourselves over and over again, but the frothing ones don't want to listen

JaneBirkin · 29/11/2011 17:29

This is a really, really, hideous thread and makes me feel AWFUL and I don't even have five children.

So whose hard earned tax am I being given? Which one of you is it? Because frankly you can have it back.

fickencharmer · 29/11/2011 17:30

yes we are all repeating ourselves. I have heard lawyers say they dont reall understand the benefit sysyem Very complex. It stops people bothering to claim.

Rich people in open court for tax fiddle. Almost never.

flatbread · 29/11/2011 17:31

ok, found it

we both worked before we split up but due to our split and family circumstances we both lost our jobs and now im on benefits.

Seems the OP was working when she had dc1,2,3 and 4. So this could be a genuine mistake and she needs help. Hopefully only for a short while while she gets on her feet again.