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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Anyone living in or previously lived in an intentional community ?

242 replies

RosemaryandThyme · 27/11/2011 16:39

Hello, I live in an intentinal community and am wondering if anyone else does or did ?
Ours is a community for the education and welfare of it's members, of which there are about 9 families (plus a few floating extras) living in an collection of houses and a main maor house in a rural hamlet - anyone else in a similar position ?

OP posts:

Andrewofgg · 27/11/2011 16:43

Knew some people like that when I was a child.

Bunch of twats.

BeerTricksPotter · 27/11/2011 16:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

RosemaryandThyme · 27/11/2011 16:51

Hi - yes I think me and DH will be here for the long haul, not so sure about our children though.

Andrew - why did you come to view them as twats ?

OP posts:

Andrewofgg · 27/11/2011 16:53

Because they were. Self-centred and self-righteous; convinced they had all the answers to all the world's problems.

ImperialBlether · 27/11/2011 16:54

What's an intentinal community? I hope to god, OP, that you're not educating them in English!

NinkyNonker · 27/11/2011 16:56

I've known a few people who do/did, couldn't be further from Andrew's experiences.

While I can't see us doing anything so specific, I think there is a lot to be said for a co-operative model of living.

Original poster

RosemaryandThyme · 27/11/2011 16:57

Thanks for your input Andrew - guess times have changed.

Nope - not English for me Imperial, should be intentional community.

OP posts:

usualsuspect · 27/11/2011 16:57

Whats the AIBU?

DownbytheRiverside · 27/11/2011 16:58

But did they feel the need to proclaim their virtue Andrew, and to evangelise about it loudly?
Or did they live according to their principles and not bother people, or stop people from leaving the community if they changed their minds?
Because if they weren't being a PITA, I don't see the problem with alternative lifestyles.

Andrewofgg · 27/11/2011 16:58

I have to say that I was twelve when we lost touch with them. I don't put forward what I have said as a mature adult judgment!

NinkyNonker · 27/11/2011 16:59

Andrewofgg · 27/11/2011 16:59

However, Down, the answer to the first two questions is Yes they bloody did.

Oscar Wilde said that a bore is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject, and that was them to a T.

sozzledchops · 27/11/2011 16:59

did for a short while though i wasn't really part of it, just helping and passing through, had no say or vote. I liked it a lot and might have been tempted to hang around and loved the idea of bringing any future kids up there, on the downside though it could be very claustrophobic and awful when some started screwing around - everyone knew everyone and their business. It was quite big though, perhaps about 200-300 or so.

valiumredhead · 27/11/2011 17:00

My feelings are the same as andrew's - was brought up in one as a child and hold no desire to repeat the experience with my own family even as a kid I could see they were a 'bunch of twats'

flyingspaghettimonster · 27/11/2011 17:01

All sounds a bit Walden 2 for my liking... Utopian societies are always flawed...

Original poster

RosemaryandThyme · 27/11/2011 17:02

Not so much of an AIBU as a "is there anyone out there ?" thought I'd just ask as I think I might be the only one on here (and am regularly getting slammed for having way-out views!!)

OP posts:

ninah · 27/11/2011 17:05

I'm not sure what they are but I really fancy a commune

valiumredhead · 27/11/2011 17:06

Isn't an intentional community a commune? That's what I grew up in with a bunch of 70's tree hugging freaks

Sorry I may not have the most unbiased view

exoticfruits · 27/11/2011 17:06

The name alone puts me off!

Original poster

RosemaryandThyme · 27/11/2011 17:08

Valium - may I ask what it was that put you off it - surely not all the people were twats ?

sozzel - yes it can become quite insular - the bed-hopping is just casually accepted here - would you think of raising children in an intentional community ?

OP posts:

exoticfruits · 27/11/2011 17:09

I prefer to make the best of the community that you are in, with a wide cross section. I don't like the idea of making an artificial one where you are all supposed to be like minded. Who 'intends' it? The DCs are not intentional-they have to go along with their parents.
Why not call it a commune?

valiumredhead · 27/11/2011 17:12

Oscar Wilde said that a bore is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject, and that was them to a T

Andrew summed it up beautifully OP

It was the air of smugness that annoyed me even as a child I think.

valiumredhead · 27/11/2011 17:13

I think it's telling I am not in touch with anyone that I grew up with from my childhood!

valiumredhead · 27/11/2011 17:14

Oh yes, the 'screwing around' - was quite incestuous almost...

belgo · 27/11/2011 17:15

How do you vet the people who want to live in this artificial intentional community?

People's intentions would concern me.
I wouldn't join an intentional community because I am quite happy with the natural community that I live in and taken ten years to build up around me.

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