Poxy Chelsea Tractor Brigade

[fuzzynavel]

Don't even need to ask if I'm being unreasonable because I know I'm not.

These ridiculous tanklike constructions being driven around London is just damn selfish.

Do these people think that "rough terraine" is just round the corner from Fulham High Street or something.

Im not at all snobby about what I drive, as long as it is reliable and isn't attractive to burglars. Although these days it is harder to nick cars than the old days when all a car thief had to do was hotwire a car to start it. I once had a sporty car that was so attractive to thieves that after three insurance claims in one year I was glad to get a boring car again.

Where I live some houses have been repeatedly burgled so that car thieves can steal the keys to the owners car. I think I will stick to my (crap in the snow, but pretty nippy otherwise) Ford Focus.

My dsis lives at the top of a big hill in Wales and and one point needed 3 car seats. She has managed fine with various Renault/Citroen people carriers. My American neighbour across the road has imported this feck off huge truck like monstrosity which he uses to drive the 10 mins to work (on the motorway). Sometimes he parks it across the end of his drive and it makes it very hard to get my Seat Ibiza out of ours......

Ahh, Kungfu, Fond memories of the lovely round metal gearknob and not being able to see out of the rear window....

Twatmobile
Twatmobile
Twatmobile
Fine

You can argue the toss all you like, "I pay so I drive what I like" and all that bollocks. But ultimately, if you drive one of the first three then you're a bit of a twat.

Perfectly illustrated by Gwendoline.

Gwendoline, those images you've posted have just made a bit of sick reappear in my throat.

(Apart from the fourth one - that is fine)

TBH, I wouldn't be seen dead in a 4x4. Give me a nice Audi, Volvo or Mercedes estate anytime. Although not too flashy a one, and preferably a couple of years old. One wouldn't wish to be seen to be too vulgar conspicuous.

Remember when everyone realised that all BMW drivers were TWATS?

Well they are now driving Audis....

#justsaying

I used to read these threads and think WTF, until I had to drive around Bath every day. The mummies on the private school run in their massive great cars bombing towards me on MY side of the road were quite terrifying. I thought they were just a stereotype. They have no place in the centre of a city with narrow streets.

Well at risk of outing us: I drive a Citroen C4 Airdream which has recently replaced a W Reg Picasso and DH drives a GWiz to avoid the congestion charge. Does that make us: boring, weird, or rather clever with money? And OP have almost been mown down on many occasions on Hurlingham Road.

I don't mind the Range Rover/Cherokee/MPV types but there are some fucking massive ones. I think BMW is one and Porsche are another. They must take more than one parking space because they are at least a foot wide than my little 206 and I have to squeeze into some spaces round here.

Only thing I don't like about the massive ones is at night. I get blinded by the lights in the mirror (but I use my flippy thing) and blinded in the wing mirrors too.

Many of my mates drive Chelsea tractors, fair enough, their choice. Funny though that when I got my fiat 500 they were all over it like a cheap suit, loving the space, the headroom, the fuel consumption, the road tax, the insurance. When I ask why they don't get one I get " oh well, you know..." tail off into silence.
Fact is, it's about self image innit? I have cheap cars but Chelsea tractor equivalents in other things.

Now I'm going to stick my neck out and say that there is a real possibility that GwendolinMaryLacey's 4th driver is also a bit of a twat too. He has a snorkel on his car. IME the only people with snorkels on their cars are middle-aged blokes who actively seek out green lanes and byways and then spend their Saturday afternoons trashing them by belting their besnorkelled Defenders along them just after it's rained because they like sliding about in the mud. It makes it a nightmare for quieter users of these rights of way - my own lane became impassable after years of this kind of abuse, and when I say impassable, I mean cyclists and horse riders found it impossible to negotiate the deep ruts. And even walkers who weren't part of the Ramblers Association moaned! (The RA moan about everything though.)

Anyway, I'll just creep back off in my beat up old, towbar equipped Shogun through the ford, up the steep hill and along the dirt track to my little house. I like to think myself an intelligent and considerate 4x4-er. We use our little LPG car for as many journeys as possible and keep the Shogun for towing, field care, snowy days, and short local journeys when OH is out in the little car. I always keep a towrope in the boot so that I can rescue the poor city-dwelling fools take a short cut through the ford to a local famous gastro-pub. So it is highly irritating when I make a rare excursion out to the shops in town in it only to have some twat bellow "Chelsea fucking tractor!" at me as I park up and started getting my child out.

Anyway. Looking forward to the snow again this Christmas!

They're the ones gwendoline!

I should just point out too, that I do agree about the Real Chelsea Tractors though. No place in an urban family. It would be impossible to police it, but you are right about the school run mummies in their pristine Porsche tanks in the middle of London. Completely inappropriate.

Maybe all 4x4s could be banned from being washed (I never wash mine!) and then weighed once a year to ascertain the amount of mud on them? Not enough mud and you are an inner city pretender. Too much mud and you are a trasher of the green and pleasant countryside. Somewhere in between and you are a sensible driver of rural workhorse.

I wasn't looking at snorkels :o Damn, not thorough enough!

Although, I guess I should fess up and admit that when I was a nanny at 20 I was given the use of one of these and I bloody loved it but I was young, stupid and it wasn't mine.

Agree with Bolter. Estates are the way to go. Safe, fuel-efficient, room for a family of five and a dog or two and they age well.

'Tbh, by driving one of those bloody things you're just waving your insecurities in the air:

"Look at me! I've got loadsa money!!!"'

The new ones might indicate that, but ours was preloved and was 8 when we got it in 2005, and it is still going strong. Not everyone is idiot enough to pay for the depreciation, and will buy second hand.

Obviously not, Gewndoline.

The Range Rover Evoque is beautiful and the "shed" is practical. The other two are ugly.