to think posters who say ....

[troisgarcons]

"get a cleaner"
"get an au pair"
"get an ironing lady"
"a nanny is only 24K per annum"

Really need to get a grip with reality and realise those people who work might actually need to work and dont have excess cash to pay for domestic staff? So it's often a stealth boast comment designed to make those who are stressed out actually a whole lot more inadequate than they are already feeling.

I realise this a foreign concept to some. The "having to work" thing. But if you are cash flush and able to employ a Lituanian doormat maid you would have already covered that base and installed her in the garage. Quite possibly you wouldnt be posting on here to vent your speen and admit you are having difficulty coping.

YA potenially BU, troisgarcons, because...
(IME) for some reason a lot of women are really reticent about getting help with domestic work, for the reasons you mention above. For example, they think it smack of 'Lady Muck' entitlement, etc.
Often they'd really benefit from paying someone to do a bit of domestic work. It's not that expensive to get a couple of hours every week or two, and it can make a huge difference.
So what's the problem with suggesting it?

'Having to work' generally means earning money; also means having less time and energy for domestic work. What the hell is wrong with paying someone else to help out with this?
And why the Lithuanian/doormat parallel, btw?

Getting a cleaner is not the same as having a full time live in servant.

YABU

I think people should generally clear up after themselves as they go along, and before they go to bed make sure everything is in its place, cleaned the bath after use etc., then they wouldnt need a cleaner, its only cos they fucking lazy to start with they need one.

I'd rather get off my arse and do my own cleaning than employ someone to do it because I would probably clean before they arrived anyway to avoid being called a slovenly slattern behind my back

As it happens I work 7/7 and have no help because I am a martyr of the highest order and would rather my hard earned cash be spent on something rather than help ...but thats just me - its a really fucking horrible trait I picked up from my mother noless!!

Right, Fabby.
Writing reports, marking student work, preparing classes/cases - it's all for lazy fuckers. Especially if you sit around doing it until 3am, then are up at 6.30 to get DCs ready for school, take them in, then off to work until 8pm.
Lazy, lazy fuckers, those people who work!

Me, I'd rather buy wine and live in squalor

Really laughing out loud here

When I go to bed everything is in it's place. On the floor. I clean the shower while I'm in it by swooshing my feet around. That's if I haven't had so much that I'm likely to fall over

Oooo. Now I'm remembering that I put the 'leave for 30mins' plughole treatment in the sink an hour ago!

if I worked full time, I would employ someone to clean my house

no question

it isn't the premise of the idle rich, as much as you wish to pigeonhole it

Oh YES Spermysextowel I have a floordrobe too!

No YANBU having a house cleaner servant has acquired the status symbol tag for sure.
But the poor people need a job too I suppose :)

cadet you are a fool to yourself

nobodys epitaph ever said "I wish i had martyred myself a bit more" or "At least she cleaned her own bogs"

get a life, really

I kind of see your point, but as someone who def can't afford a cleaner or ironing lady let alone the rest, I still think it is a point worth making when someone is in a fix, because they maybe the person who can actually afford it, and depending on the number of children, a nanny might be the more cost effective way to go.
I remember a Brit friend when we lived in the US who ended up at our house in floods of tears, she earns a mint as does her husband, once she calmed down and told me her problem, the simple fix was too employ a cleaner! job done! but funnily enough people sometimes need "permission" to do something which they presume is for people who are up themselves, an admission of not coping to use your example which was clearly the case here, or just simply they hadn't thought of it because the problem is so all consuming they can't see the simple fixes,
the other point is that before children I had a cleaner for 2 hours a week, hell I could afford it, she was a student and was greatful for a regular income and she was using her income to pay a tutor to improve her french, my hard earned money was working hard in the local area...I have never forgiven her for graduating and becoming a teacher because she was a brilliant cleaner:)
the irony is not lost, that I only needed her for 2 hours a week because I had no kids and didn't really need a cleaner and could afford her, and now I can't afford one and due to kids could do with a full timer.
for my part could I argue that for people who suggest family/parents help posters, should stop being so smug that they have free childcare, when some of us live 400 miles in our case further when in US from IL's both my parents are dead, and my brother in in the army, of course not, they are legitamate ideas.

I had a cleaner who came in for a few hours each week but I found myself tidying up before she got there then cleaning alongside her!

It was pointless. I had toilet her go because I looked like an idiot paying somebody when I was clearly uncomfortable with the whole idea!

Nice in principle, not in reality for me. Idiot that I am!

I have a cleaner and it's my only luxury - I don't spend really on anything else and dress in Marie curie's finest.

Fabby- I must admit I struggle with 4 days working, 4 kids and the launderette that I run on an evening to pick up everything after myself and the other 5 men that live in this house.

If cadet admits to a floordrobe I think her martyrdom is of a lower order. She will never be recognised by the Vatican.

Sorry forgot to say YABU.

some of you women could do to examine how society has brainwashed you into believing you must be doing all the shitwork or else you aren't a good wife/partner/mother

seriously

FFS - TOILET=to let

I am a full time student, I work voluntarily, I am a single mum and a carer. Therefore I am eternally skint and forever busy.

I have a cleaner. She comes once a fortnight.

How do I justify it? I spend all the free time I have doing for other people, writing assignments and generally trying to remember to breathe. For the sake of £20 every other week, I'd rather pay up and spend the time I would've spent cleaning, out in the fresh air with my son, spending real quality time with him.

In between the cleaner coming, I keep my place tidy (I have borderline OCD I reckon...) and I mos def do not live in squalor.

I'm no way Lady Muck (see description of self) but I do know where to spend my spare cash wisely.

cadet I have promised myself that in my next life I must surely live in a place with no horizontal surfaces. Therein danger lies.

Both people do the housework in this house even though we both work fulltime anyfucker.
Washing you're own pots is not a political issue ffs.