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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think Beavers would allow...

126 replies

chocolategateaudeluxe · 21/11/2011 19:33

...a 7-year-old child to make their own way from parent's car, through the door (5 yards from car), to Beavers Meeting!

I got told off for dropping him at the door! The reason being they might not have been there. They obviously were - the door was open, light in the hall was on, loads of cars were there etc. I'm not stupid!

I mean isn't the whole point of Beavers to support young people in their physical, mental and emotional wellbeing, to promote independence?!? Didn't they use to camp in the woods, learn survival skills, make fires, handle pocket knives?

Tell me if IABU but I don't see how I could be...

OP posts:

Sirzy · 21/11/2011 19:35

I think you are.

I am a youth worker and we insist that all the 5-11 group are dropped off (ie brought into the building) and picked up from the building not sent out into the carpark to the parents.

Sometimes we need to pass on important messages, sometimes although people may be in the building it may not be possible for young people to stay (last minute child protection ratio problems etc), if nothing else Youth Leaders like to build a relationship with parents even if it is just a case of saying hello when they are dropped off.

signet · 21/11/2011 19:37

YABU. Our beavers have to be signed in and out by a parent.

PS. Beavers have never camped in the woods or used pocket knives. They aren't allowed to do either.

LindyHemming · 21/11/2011 19:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NewsClippings · 21/11/2011 19:42

YABU

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 21/11/2011 19:44

YABU. It would not be fair on the leaders should something go wrong.

Original poster

chocolategateaudeluxe · 21/11/2011 19:45

Oh, then it was Scouts (but aren't "Beavers" the new "Scouts"?), anyway, same ethos! When I was a at Brownies and Guides my parents didn't have to sign in...

OP posts:

snailoon · 21/11/2011 19:45

YANBU
Health and safety gone mad. Beavers don't seem to do anything even mildly exciting like going outside.

TiggyD · 21/11/2011 19:46

Maybe the were going to finish Beavers half an hour early because they all had to go off to a wedding but because you didn't go in you didn't hear and they had to wait for you at the end and they missed the wedding and the bride and groom were upset and it caused a row and they're breaking up and getting divorced now and have to cut the dog in half all because of you.

YABU.

Indith · 21/11/2011 19:48

If a child goes missing in those 5 yards who do think gets it in the neck?

When I ran a Rainbow unit parents came in with the children. If children had been running ahead they always stuck their heads in to make sure the child had arrived in the hall. When they were leaving I watched every child out of the door and to an adult that I recognised.

The halls are often used by a lot of people. Hall is open, light is on, maybe it isn't the leaders, maybe it is a cleaner, a leader from a different unit putting a tent away, another leader just dashing in to grab a folder for a meeting....

halcyondays · 21/11/2011 19:49

It's the norm to leave them right in to the hall at that age.

WestYorkshirePudding · 21/11/2011 19:49

You're joking aren't you?

DS1's beaver group meet in the church hall every week but go off an about for an activity at least once a month. The other month it was bowling (on the local bowling green) then they had a day's camping and tomorrow are going on a night walk through the woods. Fantastic!

snailoon not sure which beavers group your kids go to

Almostfifty · 21/11/2011 19:50

Just who do you think Beaver leaders are? They're volunteers. If they want you to drop your child off at the door, then you do that. And be thankful you've got people willing to act as an unpaid babysitter for you.

Do you have any idea how much effort it takes to run a Beaver Colony? It takes a lot of organising, certainly a lot more than just the hour it runs for, but apparently you can't even spend the two minutes it takes to take your child in to ascertain that they're safe.

People like you are the reason that people don't volunteer.

Pootles2010 · 21/11/2011 19:54

You are bu - I assume you don't do any voluntary work with children otherwise you'd know how careful they have to be.

And no course they don't use knives - they're far too young!

SauvignonBlanche · 21/11/2011 19:56

YABU.
If you wish to use the service provided by the volunteer leaders, you need to stick to their rules.

Ragwort · 21/11/2011 20:00

Well said Almostfifty - as a volunteer leader I find the OP's comments very thoughtless - what about going in with your DC, saying Good Evening to the Leaders - even offering to help out occasionally? There are many, many children on the waiting lists to be Beavers, Cubs etc - it's no wonder it is so hard to get Leaders. Have you any idea what is involved in running a Beaver group? You might have to give up five minutes of your time to take your child into the hall - I gave up my whole Sunday to do training last week.

(New rules do allow Beavers to camp.)

MaureenMLove · 21/11/2011 20:01

Sounds like one of my Rainbows mother. She has yet to acknowledge me, in the year that her dd has been a Rainbow. Pisses me off every week.

Original poster

chocolategateaudeluxe · 21/11/2011 20:03

I appreciate they are volunteers, I do, but what has that got to do with how I raise my child, and how I decide to get him to the meeting? He's entirely MY responsibility before he gets there. They've got a variety of telephone numbers they can call me on in case they have to whizz off to a wedding, and if all fails he could always walk home like I did as a kid if something got cancelled!

OP posts:

Almostfifty · 21/11/2011 20:04

Ragwort

I am a Beaver Leader, that's why I am so cross. I know how much time and effort we spend doing stuff for the children and to see a comment like that just makes my blood boil.

I do it for the children, not the parents. If I did it for them I'd have given it up a long, long time ago.

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 21/11/2011 20:04

OP YABU, but you've probably guessed that by now.

I for one would like to thank all of the pepole who volunteer their own time to run such groups.

Our DS1 has just joined beavers and is thoroughly enjoying every minute of it.

redskyatnight · 21/11/2011 20:10

I run a brownie unit and we had a situation a few years ago where a parent dropped off her 7 year old in the car park across the way - she was slightly late so she "assumed" seeing all the lights on that we would be in the hall and was ok to do this. We were in the hall, but had locked the door for security reasons and weren't able to hear the brownie knocking over the noise inside. Poor child was outside for a good 10-15 minutes before she was able to attract our attention. After that incident, we were very sure to tell parents that they must bring their child into the hall and check a leader was there before leaving them.

Marlinspike · 21/11/2011 20:14

OP, you can fly him to the meeting on the back of a pink winged elephant if you wish, just as long as you walk him into the room and make sure that he's safely in the hands of the WONDERFUL Beaver leaders for the next hour or so.

Then I suggest you turn up in your flying machine, offer them a smile and a thank you, and take him back home, once again by whatever means you see fit. During the journey he can tell you about all the fantastic things he's doing, and you could spend a few moments considering the organisation and commitment that goes into planning them.

Oh, and a small box of choccies and a Christmas card always goes down well at the end of term

simpson · 21/11/2011 20:16

My DS's beavers group insist that they are dropped off inside by the parents for the very reason that redskyatnight said.

DS loves beavers and it has done him the world of good WRT his confidence etc. He has just got back from beavers now, better go and get him into bed

2ddornot2dd · 21/11/2011 20:18

Until your child reaches the unit meeting place, he is your responsibility. At the end of the night it is the leaders responsibility to get him back to you. As part of your responsibility, you should actually make sure he is safe, and will be so for the rest of the night. Almost 50 is spot on.

Sirzy · 21/11/2011 20:18

There is also the issue (especially when children are dropped off early) that there may not yet be enough adults to meet child protection rules.

When I was running the group for 5 - 11 year olds I often got there half an hour early to set up but my other leaders due to work commitments couldn't arrive until 5-10 mins before things started. As such I asked parents who arrived early to wait until the others had arrived. Safest way for everyone.

I now do a lot of events for 11 - 18 year olds and for under 16s they aren't allowed to leave an event unless we have seen parents are there or have a letter from the parents to say they are making their own way home.

If you think it all seems over the top then I suggest you read the child protection policy to realise just what VOLUNTEERS need to do to comply with the rules and to make sure everyone is safe.

SauvignonBlanche · 21/11/2011 20:19

"what has that got to do with how I raise my child, and how I decide to get him to the meeting? He's entirely MY responsibility before he gets there"

He's the volunteers responsibility during the time he's with them and if that is how they expect him to arrive, so be it. If you can't be arsed are unable to walk from your car to the hall have you considered discussing alternative arragements with them? Failing that, not going at all?

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