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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that, however well intentioned, favourite MNer threads can reinforce the clique-y image some have of MN and

659 replies

MardyBra · 21/11/2011 16:47

be hurtful to anyone left out.

And unfortunately, because of the large numbers of MNers, there are inevitably going to be lots of lovely lovely posters who don't get a mention. (btw, I would love to have a Brew with all those who kindly mentioned me, annd loads more too).

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 22/11/2011 07:46

If you are on a list it just shows that you spend too long on here.

FellatioNelson · 22/11/2011 07:47

I think you are right exotic!

norriscoleforpm · 22/11/2011 07:55

I just don't start many threads any more as I know i won't really get many responses. if I was 'known' there would be loads. I have started several threads in the past few month, trying to be 'in, but get very few responses ever Sad

FellatioNelson · 22/11/2011 07:57

That won't be becuase of who you are norris it will be because of either:

  1. the thread content/subject matter or

  2. the style it is written in.

Using your logic none of us would ever get a foot in the door.

velvetvamp · 22/11/2011 07:58

I've been on this site for two days but I'm a seasoned forum whore so I realise that it takes time to establish yourself on a busy site. I don't feel intimidated by large threads or find them 'cliquish' at all. If anything they give a newbie a goo sense of the tone of the place.

velvetvamp · 22/11/2011 08:06

*good

exoticfruits · 22/11/2011 08:06

I am pleased because I think that I spend too much time on here and yet I fail to register with people, so maybe I'm not as addicted as I think!

sheepgomeep · 22/11/2011 08:08

Norriscoleforpm I've been here since 2004 and I'm still not 'in'. ithink my problemI can't write my postsvery well, my writing style is poor and stilted and I can't do witty posts, one liners I am rubbish at.

I have had support from some lovvely mumsnetters a while ago when I posted at my lowest about a year ago.

I dunno, reminds me of school sometimes

rycooler · 22/11/2011 08:09

No - if you're named on a list it doesn't mean you spend too much time here, all it means is a few anonymous strangers find you quite interesting - but the posters who are on here 24/7 ( and despite their best efforts never get named ) get a bit jealous. ( god knows why as this isn't RL ) - not everyone can be interesting intelligent and funny - sadly most people aren't.
The people I named are hardly ever on MN - not prolific at all, that's probably why I like them - but when they do post I like what I read - I'm allowed to like people (and completely ignore others )
And I agree this thread is worse than the original - condescending or what?

EightiesChick · 22/11/2011 08:12

YANBU. School playground stuff. Excuse to big up the big names. Obligatory disclaimer: no, I haven't read the latest one, no, I don't find myself on them, yes, that is slightly disappointing (not at a day-ruining level or anything) but that passes once you realise what they're for.

FellatioNelson · 22/11/2011 08:16

I think you could have a point there ry.

And yes, it is a bit like the school playground sometimes sheep, but then so is life! At least on here you can get to be listened to, respected, laughed at for being witty or whatever, without anyone caring whether you are fat/thin, pretty or plain, able bodied or disabled, black or white. Someone might feel a bit of a non-entity on MN beause they don't have wit or wisdom or a scintillating writing style, and yet for all we know they may be the kind of person who usually gets all the luck in life because they are beautiful, or well connected. Forums still have their heirarchy, but based on different things.

lisad123 · 22/11/2011 08:17

pagwatch I'm so happy to read that I'm not the only one who forgets names!Blush very embarrassing when someone says, yes we spoke last week at length! Confused

FellatioNelson · 22/11/2011 08:18

How long is it going to be before someone comes and says 'but I get ignored on MN for being boring and^ in RL for being ugly.' Grin

In which case, I have no answer for you. Confused

FoxyRoxy · 22/11/2011 08:22

Don't open them! Job done.

Yanbu really, they're pointless

JamieComeHome · 22/11/2011 08:23

good God norris. I rarely start threads. I am not a masochist Grin

Hullygully · 22/11/2011 08:24

Slightly tangential, but if you are a prolific poster (feels acronym coming on), surely you do get to know and like a few people, again just like life?

rycooler · 22/11/2011 08:26

Agree hully - that's why I've never had a problem with those threads.

Pagwatch · 22/11/2011 08:33

It's all a bit of a mind fuck really.

There you are, you join a forum and enjoy it. Maybe you are in a bit of a state in real life, or your circumstances are tricky and it becomes a great pass time. You find people who laugh at the same things as you or have a common interest. You spot people and make strange Internet friendships.

Then you get mentioned on a list of people others would like to meet and that feels quite nice. A bit random but nice. You enjoy chatting with them, they seem to like chatting with you.

But apparently this just means you are gloating smug loser with too much time on your hands. You are socially inadequate and should be embarrassed.
You didn't name yourself. You didn't start a list asking 'sign in here everyone who thinks I am fucking fantastic' but actually you are responsible and are therefore a bit of a cunt.
Who knew that when they logged on?

Hullygully · 22/11/2011 08:36

Yeah but

Pag

You are not in Hully's league

Totally irrelevant, but irresistible nonetheless.

Pagwatch · 22/11/2011 08:42

That is actually true.

Hullygully · 22/11/2011 08:44

I like anyone who makes me laugh, isn't a frothing berserker, and has a basically kindly outlook. So that's most people.

NewsClippings · 22/11/2011 08:46

YANBU. Those threads always contain the same dozen people who like to mention each other. The other 99.99 per cent of MN-ers won't be included.

FellatioNelson · 22/11/2011 08:47

exoticfruitsTue 22-Nov-11 07:46:46

If you are on a list it just shows that you spend too long on here.

Add message | Report | Message poster
FellatioNelsonTue 22-Nov-11 07:47:23

I think you are right exotic!

I didn't mean it Pag. I'm just trying to make the Unmentioned feel better about it all. It's my self-depracating humour doncha know. I was speaking for myself and I've unwittingly lumped you into my category as surely you are are officially the most mentioned person and you spend the most time on here aongsie a hardcore including me.--. Not that I've counted mentions, but I think you are. Don't excommunicate me for insubordination Pag I BEG OF YOU.

FellatioNelson · 22/11/2011 08:49

Oh FFS. That should say 'alongside me' Either I need a new keyboard or a neurologist/optician lately.

Hullygully · 22/11/2011 08:49

News (it's a slow morning here so what the hell), that doesn't make sense. The 99.99 % could mention someone if they wanted to. People mention all sorts of people, not always mutual, mainly whoever they've been on an involved thread with in the last two days cos they're the ones that spring to mind.

If someone wants to say, I like so and so, fine. Say it.

If not, don't.

Er, that's it.

Top Tip: If you want a name check, make a few yourself first.