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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask friend not to visit because her children have nits?

41 replies

lionsandtigersandbearsohmy · 21/11/2011 13:28

My friend is supposed to be visiting on Friday and staying the night. She has just mentioned that her children have nits and what a pain it is combing them out. I would prefer it if she didn't come until nit free, so that my children are not exposed to them! I know they are likely to get them at school, but would prefer them not to knowingly be in close proximity, sharing a bed and bath and so on! AIBU?

OP posts:
ChocolateTeacup · 21/11/2011 13:37

By friday, if she is the type of friend who does it properly they will be gone

valiumredhead · 21/11/2011 13:43

I would make sure she knows they have to be clear by Friday! Otherwise leave the country.

Helltotheno · 21/11/2011 13:46

Nits are no biggie. She told you and I'm sure she's taken steps. YAB a tad U to be honest.

mrsruffallo · 21/11/2011 13:47

YABU
If she is yopur friend surely you can discuss this with her??

Original poster
lionsandtigersandbearsohmy · 21/11/2011 13:50

i know nits are a normal thing and fully expect DS to come home from school one day with them! I just don't want to knowingly welcome them into my house! (the nits not the friend!). I will have a chat to her to see what she thinks.

OP posts:
Original poster
lionsandtigersandbearsohmy · 21/11/2011 13:51

sorry - i also know she has had them for about 4 weeks now so would be amazed if they suddenly disappear by Friday. (ducks head)

OP posts:
LittleMissFlustered · 21/11/2011 13:53

Not sure about anybody else, but I'd not take my kids on a sleepover if they had lice. They don't even go to school if they have them. They get treated and welcomed until they're live-louse free and wet combed every other day after to catch the hatchlings.

If she is planning on coming regardless of whether the issue is dealt with I'd tell her the whole thing is off.

LittleMissFlustered · 21/11/2011 13:54

Welcomed = wet combed. Didn't proof read >_

babybarrister · 21/11/2011 14:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 21/11/2011 14:29

If she's done Hedrin or Full Marks or something on them then they will be fine and absolutely nit free by then. If they are still infested then I dont' blame you for wanting them to stay way!

GypsyMoth · 21/11/2011 14:29

Your ds most likely has threadworm too! Most kids, unknown to parents, do!

LaurieFairyCake · 21/11/2011 14:32

yanbu

Tell her about Hedrin -works great - wet combing for 4 weeks clearly means she isn't doing it properly.

IloveJudgeJudy · 21/11/2011 14:44

Tell your friend to get a Nitty Gritty comb. They really are the best! if she starts wet combing with that today or tomorrow, her DC will be practically nit-free by Friday.

Acanthus · 21/11/2011 14:48

Of course YANBU. She needs to get it sorted out.

Original poster
lionsandtigersandbearsohmy · 21/11/2011 14:52

Threadword Shock sarasidle! Aren't children lovely...

OP posts:
aldiwhore · 21/11/2011 14:53

For an infestation I start with Hedrin, and then my normal practice is that I nitty grit their conditioner soddened haid after every wash... my kids (and me) seem to be the type that if they're going round we'll get them so I'm quite vigilant and touch wood apart from the odd one or two they haven't had an infestation for months.

I'm pretty sure there have been many children with nits who've visited us, and there are sure as hell loads in school, but an infestation can be avoided if you use the nitty gritty as part of a normal hair washing routine.

Its no biggy for me really, just one of those things, and I wouldn't stop anyone coming over because of them.

mummymeister · 21/11/2011 15:39

sorry i dont think head lice are a big thing. if your child has them then of course you need to treat them straight away and to be on the safe side i use the nit comb once a week on each child just to check. but, they catch them at school (until senior school in my experience) and you cannot get away from this. i would be seriously put out if i had told a friend that my kids had them and then told not to come. would you prefer her to have lied? i have a nitty gritty comb and use hedrin when they get them but it is all part of life. when they are teenagers you will have other things to worry about and long for head lice to be your only problem!!

hiccymapops · 21/11/2011 15:46

I wouldn't go staying at someone's house if we had them. Be honest with your friend, if she's been struggling with them for a few weeks, surely she'll understand. I'm surprised she hasn't asked to re-arrange herself.

Helltotheno · 21/11/2011 15:53

I agree, there are far worse problems. I find Hedrin (plus combing) to be the only thing that works. Absolutely no way in hell would I keep a child away from school for having nits - if everyone were to do that, there'd be a high level of absenteeism! I find it works fine to use the treatments and keep impressing on the child not go 'head to head' with any other child.
It's just a fact of life with small children.Business as usual for me....

RomanKindle · 21/11/2011 17:18

helltotheno - Really? In dd's school you are supposed to keep kids off til they're treated. If everyone did this there would be a lot less absenteeism and kids would get them a lot less frequently. But of course there will always be one or two who will send their kids in and then wonder why they get them back a few weeks later from the kids they passed it on to.

DD's teacher from preschool has worked there for 15 years and never head nits. She uses a couple of drops of neat tea tree oil diluted in a spray bottle of water and sprays it on her hair each day. I have been doing the same for dd and keeping her hair tied up and touch wood she hasn't had nits yet.

WilsonFrickett · 21/11/2011 17:24

Couple of drops of tea tree in my hand then smoothed over DS hair has worked so far for us, and I know they are going around at school at the moment...

Ghoulwithadragontattoo · 21/11/2011 17:25

I can't say I'd particularly want them coming to visit with nits especially as mum is clearly struggling to get rid of them. Just ask her to rearrange. They are a normal part of life but doesn't mean you have to welcome them into your home.

Original poster
lionsandtigersandbearsohmy · 21/11/2011 17:51

Thank you for your comments - interesting to see it from both sides. I do feeling a little unreasonable for asking to rearrange but I don't think IABU to try to keep my children's heads nit free IYSWIM.

We haven't had them yet - perhaps when we have had them a few times we will feel more laissiz-faire about the whole thing.

OP posts:
QuintesentialShadows · 21/11/2011 17:55

It is not just just the children, it is the bedding, the sofa, what not, after a sleep over!

Just tell her "Lets rearrange the sleepover until after your are nit free". And leave it like that. If she objects, she is not much of a friend. In fact, it amazes me that she will still send her children on a sleepover, with nits!

Bossybritches22 · 21/11/2011 18:00

Sorry to hijack ladies but just becasue she has treated doesn't mean they are all gone. Hedrin etc only kills the lice not the eggs.

Common misconception & actually by combing for 4 weeks she's more likely to break the life cycle (21 days)

Please read this link -loads of info!

Hope you sort it out OP!